The last one standing | Peter Parker x reader

Back to black

You could see your breath in the icy air. Standing there made your heart ache. But not as much as everyone else. They had so much respect for him, Tony. The tears that fell into the water from the dock carried pain that would last lifetimes. All the family, friends and people who cared all shared the pain. Nothing would ever make you feel this guilty. This happened while you were here, you felt like somehow it could be your fault.

Peppers speech nearly tore you into pieces. What cut even more was Steve. You wouldn't have said that you cared for Tony as much as them but you felt cared for around him. You got attached too early.

You sat on a chair inside while everyone wished pepper the best and that we wouldn't tangle her up in anything. You looked up from your water to see Thor and Clint talking to Peter at the other side of the room. They walked away and he wiped his tear. When he looked around his eyes settled on you. You looked down and he looked down to his cup but you looked at him.

You got up and walked out of the house to a tree beside the lake and you rested your shoulder. You lifted up your long coat and saw the scar on your leg that stretched all the way up to your thigh. You turned to the lake and the trees at the other side.

The leaves crunch and you felt the presences of someone beside you. Peter stood there not looking at you. You glanced to see his eyes red and puffy. Without even saying anything he put his arm over your shoulder. You grabbed onto the hand and rested your head on chest and wrapped your arm around his back. In that moment everything felt still. You lifted a polaroid out of your pocket. It was all the team having shawarma, Tony included. Peter looked at it and chuckled. He looked to the lake then back at you.

"C'mon, let's head back in." He said as he walked with his fingers intertwined with yours. You held onto his arm and leaned into it as you walked away from the cold.

Later you were driving back to the house in the drivers seat in Natasha's car. You passed by the lights of New York, the rain tapping on the windows.
"Hey, you ok?" You asked looking over to Natasha at a traffic light.
"As ok as I can be." She replied as she turned her head from resting on the window to you. She looked down at her hands, twiddling her thumbs. 

"Do you wanna stop by Wendy's? I know that will cheer you up."
"No, no I'm ok. Can we just go home." She says looking back to the window.
You don't respond as you didn't feel the need to. She made it loud and clear that she didn't want to. But her words made you stiffen up.

When you arrived at the compound that you had to stay at after the tower got destroyed you took off your heels and flopped onto your bed. You slipped off it until your back was resting on the side. You sunk your head between your legs and sighed. As miserable as it all seemed you couldn't cry like the others.
You went to your bathroom to do your teeth and wipe off your makeup. Patting your face dry with a towel you walked out of the bathroom you threw your towel over a chair and looked up to see peter leaning against the door frame with arms folded.
''Hey so listen, I'm going on a sort of clarity thing for the public interview since Tony isn't here to do it like he normally does. Fury said to bring you to show the Avengers are still strong and are growing.'' He said while looking at you through the mirror.
''Ok.'' You say walking over to your bed side light and turning it on, then turning the big lights off.
Peter just stood there after saying what he said. You were a bit confused as he was upset earlier and probably didn't want to talk very much like Natasha.
You went over to your cabinet of clothes which were mainly essentials but you had bought some comforts. You lifted out your tank top and plaid bottoms.
You turned to Peter and spinned your finger indicating for him to look away.
Surprisingly he instantly knew what you were trying to say.
You changed and slipped into your bed and turned off the light. You knew you were being cold and you weren't sure why. You knew it was cruel but what Peter did was crueler.
He took his jacket off and slipped into the bed with you. You felt his arm skim your back as he re-adjusted the pillow.
You turned over to him and look into his eyes although you couldn't see his face. Something over whelming consumed you. This life or passion and you weren't quite sure what it was. You had never felt such a sensation.

It couldn't have been, surely. You barely know him. Sure you guys are in the same bed and mourning the same person and almost kissed but you definitely didn't love him. And he definitely doesn't have the same feelings for you. But you couldn't act on it anyway. You couldn't pull the thread to follow where it leads. Especially today of all days. You wanted to grab him and kiss him to help remedy the love lost but that was inappropriate and taking advantage of someone who has just lost someone dear to them.
You hadn't noticed but you head had edged closer and closer to Peter's side of the bed.
But if this was such an inappropriate time then why did he get into the bed in the first place? Or nearly kiss you in the tent? And why do you feel a breathe almost right beside your face making your lips almost quiver. Almost like he had found himself in a similar situation. Of course you couldn't know for sure as the lights were off. Just leaning slightly more forward would have given you the answer.

You snapped out of the dream you were living in and turned to the other side of the bed and sighed as you wished you were living in the dream for the rest of that night. Then just as you were about to closed your eyes, you felt hard yet soft touching fingers gently run aross you back. Surely dreaming then. No doubt it was just your hair falling behind you. You felt a movement in the bed and a soft warm air brush over your neck. It ran down your arm. But no physical contact. Then the breeze came to your ear. It stopped. No movement for 15 seconds but who was counting? Then it lifted and you felt another movement in the bed only to ear the door open and close.

You sighed at relief and yet disappointment. The day had become too confusing. Only way to fix it was sleep.