Pure Torture: a Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 51

Katniss

"My evil was staring at the barrel of a gun." -Kodaline

"Everything alright?" Peeta asks when I shut the door behind me and sigh.
"Yep," I say.
"Who was it?" He asks, cutting some bread.
"Oh," I say, debating on if I should tell him the truth, "it was just Gale."
"What did he want?" Peeta asks.
I don't know what to tell him. The truth? Or lie?
"He was just checking in." I say. It's a safe response. Not exactly the truth, but not exactly a lie. He was, actually, just checking in.

Peeta finishes slicing the bread and sets it on the table with some jam and butter. I sit, buttering my bread, and try to act naturally and as if nothing happened. But Peeta knows me better than that.
"You were lying. He wasn't just checking in, was he?" Peeta says.
I stare down at my plate. I shake my head.
"What did he want?" Peeta asks again.
"He really was just coming to check in on me. But then he saw my ring and he got all upset with me... And I got upset with him. It was bad and I know he'll never forgive me. He's angry about the engagement." I explain.

"He's angry? He doesn't have a right to be angry!" Peeta says.
"I know." I reply.
Peeta stands up and pulls me into a hug.
"Hey," He says, looking into my sad eyes, "How about we try to eat and forget about Gale?"
I nod slowly and take a bite of my bread, trying to push thoughts of Gale and his words to the back of my mind.

--

Peeta and I sit on the couch together.
"Hey, Katniss?" He says.
"Mhm?" I reply.
"Not to rush you or anything, but what are we going to do about the wedding?" He says.
I stare at my ring, thinking.

"I'm not sure. I guess we should tell more people about our engagement, first. Then we can worry about the actual wedding." I reply.
"Good idea." Peeta says.

So that's what we do. I'm about to pick the phone up and call Haymitch when I look outside. It looks nice out there, as the sun is starting to shine and warm the earth. I decide that I'll walk to his house.
"Peeta? I think I'm going to walk to Haymitch's house and tell him in person." I say.
"Okay. Be careful." He says.
"I might wander a bit, too. But I won't go far." I say. Peeta nods and smiles and I get up and head for the door.

Once outside, I stand on the steps to the house and feel the sunshine on my face. It's a pretty day. If only I felt this pretty inside of me.
I walk a bit, and halfway to Haymitch's house I start to feel sick to my stomach. How will I tell him? What will he think? I end up stressing myself out so much, I decide to wander before going to Haymitch's. So change directions and walk into town. I walk past new little buildings and houses until I reach the square. The same square where Prim was reaped. The same square where I volunteered. The same square where Gale was whipped. The same square where I was reaped.
I blink away a bit of tears and walk into the newly-built Hob.

Gradually, people have started setting up shops again. I take a deep breath. This is just like normal. Maybe, in the normalcy of the Hob, I can pretend none of this mess ever happened. I could go home to my old house to Prim and my mother. Gale and I would go hunting every Sunday. It could be normal, how it was.

I walk by a shop selling buttons and pins and other sewing materials. The old woman who works there spots me and we make eye contact for a moment. I give her a little smile and am just about to continue walking when she points to something gold pinned to her shirt. A Mockingjay Pin. She smiles brightly at me, and I decide I should walk over to her.

"I like your pin." I say, lying. I'm starting to hate that pin. It's a symbol of freedom now, but to me it will always symbolize the death and destruction caused by myself.
"Thank you." Says the Old Woman, "I s'hoping you'd show up some day and see it. I wear it every day. Thank you for setting me free. I's witnessed 75 years of those Games. I'm glad to see they're over."