Pure Torture: a Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 109

Katniss

"Know they're cutting you deep, feel the scars in your sleep. What didn't kill us made us stronger. Stories left on our skin, wear them with everything. What didn't kill us made us stronger." -Tove Lo

Doctor Aurelius, a face I haven't seen in quite a while, comes in the room midway through a contraction. Peeta holds my hand the way he did when Willow was coming.

"Katniss!" He says, a smile coming across his face. "I am so glad to see that you've made it to the last part! While it's the hardest, it's the most rewarding!"
I don't say anything. I just squeeze my eyes shut as blazing pain tears through me.

"Anyway, I'm here to monitor your psych vitals. If anything like what happened last time goes on, we'll be much much more prepared. Hopefully 5 years has changed some of the chemical imbalances in your brain, but we can never really be sure," he says.
I just nod. I don't want to talk. I don't even want him in here.

"Doctor Wilson, did send me in here to speak to you about a few things, though!" He says more seriously, sitting down.
"Like what?" I ask, gritting my teeth.
"Well," he says. "You are a few weeks early for labor to really be ensuing."
"I'm only 2 weeks early," I say. "That's not that bad, is it?"

"It's not the worst, there are definitely worse scenarios, but... We just want to be prepared. Especially given the possibility of complications from medications. Where you are in your last leg of your pregnancy is the very last week a baby is considered 'premature.' The longer the baby is inside, the better chances it has of survival," Aurelius says.
"So you want me to hold this baby in?" I ask in disbelief.

"No, no, Katniss! The baby is going to come out very soon. We just need you to be ready for the little one to be whisked away so we can check on him! The sooner we know what's going on, the sooner we can get him whatever treatments he needs," Doctor Aurelius says.
"Alright," Peeta speaks for me. "We'll be ready."

"Great!" He says. "Katniss, if you feel anything out of the ordinary, please let someone know immediately. We all know you here. You need to know yourself, too. If something happens that's anything like Willow's delivery, we want to be very prepared."
I nod, hoping he'll just get out of my room. I don't want to hear him talk about all the bad stuff that could happen.

In an hour, it feels like the contractions are getting better. They're less frequent and I find that I'm able to breathe again.

"What do you think he'll look like?" I ask Peeta.
"A little alien," Peeta says.
I laugh, a feeling that I welcome compared to the tearing contractions.
"Well they do look a little funny when they come out," I say.
"But I don't know," He says. "Do you think we got a little you again? Or a little me?"

"I hope he's a little you," I tell him. "Then we're even. I get Willow, you get Rye. I get the brown hair, you get the blond."
"True," Peeta says.
"But I'll be happy with anything, just healthy and happy. That's all I need," I say.

Suddenly, tears flood my eyes. I haven't cried yet in the entire labor process, but suddenly it all hits me.
"Peeta, what if he's not healthy?" I ask suddenly. Tears spill onto my cheeks.
"Katniss, it's okay. If the baby isn't healthy, they're going to make him healthy. That's what Aurelius said. He's a man of his word, remember?" Peeta replies, trying to calm me down.

"What if I failed? What if I failed as a mom? What if I didn't do enough for him while he's inside? What if I did it wrong?" I ask frantically.
"Katniss, stop. You didn't do anything wrong. You are a textbook example of a good mother. You did so well for him," Peeta says.
"But you said yourself that I didn't eat enough. What if he comes out wrong because I didn't eat right? What if it messes him up?"