Pure Torture: a Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 16

Katniss

The doctors tell me that it happens very quickly... Going to sleep. One of the doctors counts to 10, another holds the mask up to my mouth and nose, and other doctors are around the room, preparing. Peeta is by my side, holding my hand.

He knows how terrifying this is for me. I feel the gas starting to work and I feel myself getting tired. I was staring at the ceiling, but I try to shift my gaze to Peeta with whatever energy I have left. A little before the doctor gets to 6, my eyes finally meet his. He gives me a small, but reassuring, smile.
"You're safe. I've got you, Katniss. I'm here. Try to think happy thoughts. I love you." He says.

The last thing I catch before drifting off is "I love you." I try to hold onto those words as I'm pulled away from the shore that is reality.
--
I'm on a boat, drifting through the blue-green ocean. Soft waves lap at the sides of my boat and seem to whisper Peeta's words. I love you. I look up to the sky. It's blue with only a couple of fluffy clouds. The sun is warm on my face.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" A voice says, startling me.

I turn to see a man sitting in the boat with me. I don't believe it.
"Dad?" I say, confused.
"Hello, Katniss." He says. He grins at me.
"Dad, what are you doing here?" I ask him.
"I'm always here, Katniss." He says to me.
"What is this place?" I ask, confused.
He ignores my question.
"Katniss, I don't know how long we have here, so I just want to tell you a few things. I can't believe the girl I'm looking at right now," He says.
Part of me dreads hearing what he says next. That I'm weak and a monster and worthless... Because I know I am.
But that's not what he says.

"I can't believe how strong you are. You've done so much Katniss. I knew you had so much potential, but I never knew it would amount to this. I knew you were going to be a fighter, a survivor. And you've been just that. I am so proud of you. I know you're facing so much right now, you have been since that first Reaping. I know how scared you are. I want you to know that your fear is not misplaced, but you can do this. I love you Katniss. I love the young woman you've become. I'm always with you, okay?" He says.

I'm crying, now. The tears don't stop falling from my eyes... They can't. I'm so scared of what life has brought me and continues to bring me. He stands up, and the boat shakes a little. He almost falls, but he laughs it off. He was always like that. He comes and sits next to me. I cry into his shoulder. He hugs me.
"I believe in you, Katniss." He says, rubbing his hand on my back as I cry.

"Is all of this real?" I ask him.
"You think you're dreaming?" He asks.
"Well, yeah." I say.
"You are dreaming. But that doesn't mean that this isn't real." He says to me.
I don't respond. I decide to believe him.

We spend the rest of the time on the small boat singing old songs and talking. We watch as the sun sets over the horizon.

I pry my gaze from the sunset and see that we're only about 5 miles from another piece of land.
I tap his shoulder.
"Dad, look." I say, pointing to the island.
"Ah," He says, calmly.
"What does this mean?" I ask, not wanting to go back to real life.
"It means that our time here is drawing to a close. When we reach shore, you'll be back with Peeta and Gale and Prim and Mom," He says, "But don't worry Katniss. I'm always right next to you. I'll be there with you through everything."

"So you won't leave me?" I ask, like a child. We're getting closer to the shore.

"I promise, honey. I will never leave you. And when your time comes on its own, not decided by you, I will be here waiting for you with open arms. I am so proud of you." He says, giving me a smile.
"Okay," I say, "I love you, Dad."
"I love you too, sweetie. Tell Prim and your Mother that, too. Can you do that for me?"
I nod. The boat hits the sandy shore.

"I believe one of us has a revolution to lead." He says when the boat lurches to a stop.
I raise my eyebrow at him, suggesting it's him, not me.
He laughs.
"And no, it's not me." He says.
He kisses my cheek and hugs me.
"I love you, Dad..." I say through tears.
"I love you too, Katniss. Don't forget it." He says.

And then I get out of the boat. I walk a little on the sand and wave to him as the boat drifts back out into the ocean, taking him with it. He finally drifts over the horizon. He's gone.

I am sucked back into my harsh reality once again.
--

"Katniss?" A voice says. I hope against hope that it's my father again. But it's not. It's Prim, this time.

She takes ahold of my hand closest to her.
"Hey, little duck." I say, groggily.
"How are you feeling?" She asks me.
"I feel okay. My leg hurts, though. Dad says hi and that he loves you very much." I reply, still half-asleep.
"Oh my God! What?" She asks.
"During the surgery, I was with Dad... We were on a boat. It was beautiful. He wanted me to tell you how he loves you." I say, waking up a little more.

I notice Gale and Peeta standing with her.
"Prim, she was under some hefty drugs to keep her asleep. It was probably just a dream." Gale says. Peeta shoots him a look, telling him he shouldn't have said that.
"Dad said that I was in dream. But he said that it didn't make it unreal. It was real." I say to her.

Gale looks unsure.
"Listen, I was there. You weren't. I know what he said what it was. You don't." I say to him.
He looks taken aback, as if this aggression wasn't expected from the "new Katniss" the Capitol created.

"Alright," he says defeatedly," I guess I'll see you later. Have fun with Baker Boy and Prim. I'm going to see Beetee." He says.

This time it's me, whose taken aback by what he says. I can't believe my best friend is treating me like this. But I know it's my fault. Everything's my fault.

"So what else happened?" Peeta asks, attempting to change the subject.
"Me and him sang together. And we watched the sun set over the horizon..." I say, smiling. I can't tell if I'm smiling at the memory, or if it's the gas they used to put me out.

"Katniss, I love you," Prim says, "I need to go, now. I have a nightshift tonight, it's almost time to clock in." She says.
"Okay, I love you too." I say. I watch as she turns and walks away.

It's just Peeta and I, now.
"I believe you, you know." He says.
"Thanks, Peeta." I say.
"I can't believe Gale said that." He says then.
"I do." I reply quickly.
He raises his eyebrow at me.
"He can finally see past the girl he was in love with. He can see the monster I am. He can see who I actually am. He's afraid of me and he's upset because of Everything that's happened because of me." I say, upset.
"Oh, Katniss. He isn't seeing the real you. I know that. He's upset that this has happened to you, that's all." He says. I can't believe he's standing up for the guy trying to take me away from him.

"I hate myself." I say. His eyes are shiny with tears.
"I love you. I will love you for all of my life, and even after that I will love you. I will never stop loving you. No matter what." He says.
"No matter what?" I ask.

He kisses me.

"No matter what."