𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚏𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛 || 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙴𝚃𝙴𝙳

Chapter Thirty-Four

He actually came. Landon showed up. Thirty minutes later. He showed up. Now we're on his fancy-ass jet. Rich people. He now sits across from me on his laptop.

His leg bounces up and down. He's tense, worried, I would even say scared. But why? That wouldn't make sense. Why is they Landon Heart scared? What does he have to be scared about?

My eyes travel down his suit. His chest rises quicker than normal. I've never seen him have a shaky leg. I eye his shaking leg when I notice a small square book figure in his pocket.

I squint my eyes trying to make out what could be in his pocket. I tense as I feel a set of eyes settle on me, "What are you staring at?" he asks sending shivers down my spine.

"Your pocket," I glance up at him for a second, "What's in your pocket?" I ask.

Landon shifts in his seat readjusting his pants, "What's in my pockets is none of your business Charlie-Rose," his voice is motto tone no emotion just a hint of annoyance that's it.

Wow okay. "Why come and help then if you're going to be annoyed at me? This isn't your problem anymore, so I don't see why you had to come and play hero when you clearly don't fucking care," I bite back.

He closes his laptop and looks at me, "What I do and what I have on me or anything about me is none of your business. I have my reason to help and trust me it's not for you it's for work. It would look so good on our company knowing that one of America's best lawyers flew out to help someone going on trial for murder," his words hit me like an ax splitting wood.

I stand up from my seat, "Great to know you don't even care about who your client is," I walk off to the bathroom without another word.

His words make themselves at home in my heart. Just pure torture. How can someone change so much in just a few hours? Landon was nice and sweet when he got to the airport. He held me in his arms and told me everything is going to be okay. That he was going to fix all of this... and now well he's an ass.

Only using this case, a serious case that could send my best friend to jail for life if he fails for his stupid company. What a self-absorbed dick!

It makes my blood boil only knowing he is flying out with me for work and work only. It's as if nothing happened between us.

Every kiss, every word, every touch, everything sweet moment we had together makes me sick now. I want to bleach my skin thinking about it. I want to go back. I want to turn Christopher down. I should of. I should have turned him down. I should've slammed the door on his face.

This could of all been avoided if I would have done a simple thing and slammed the door in his face. I wouldn't be in the bathroom in a fancy jet wanting to punch something.

I take a few more deep breathes calming myself down before giving myself a pep talk to leave this bathroom.

I don't sit back down I just walk past him, "Happy birthday to me," I mumble as I walk by before heading to the bedroom in the back.

I don't know if he heard and to be honest, I don't care. I don't care if he heard it's my birthday. You know if I had one birthday wish it would be to go back six months ago and slam the door on Christopher's face or even never stop Lyon just let him keep running. My life could have been so different if I just never grabbed Lyon. If I just slammed the door.

I wouldn't be in pain. I wouldn't be forced to stare at the man I love who will never love me back. Who's using my friend's case, so his company looks good.

I've never felt so stuck then I do right now. He has mood swings quicker than a girl can. He's sweet and caring one minute then a dick the next. It's hard to keep up. A little part of me is glad he never said "I love you" back. We wouldn't have worked anyway. He wouldn't be able to deal with me like I wouldn't have been able to deal with him. We would probably fight more than loving each other.

It was for the best he stood there like an idiot. If it was for the best, then why does it hurt so much? Why won't the pain go away? Why can't I stop crying over him? Why am I now laying in a bed in the air crying over him yet again?

The door creaks open and a small crack of light shines through the bedroom. Lucky for me I had my back turn to him so he couldn't see my sobbing. I squeeze my eyes shut holding my breath. His scent travels through the room hitting my nostrils like a punch to the face.

He may not mean to torture me, but he is. I can't think straight I can't see clearly anymore. I'm blind walking through an unknown territory. I'm scared. I'm scared shitless but I can't stop my feet from walking. I'm just tumbling towards the light. I'm reaching out for it trying to touch it but every time I do it grows further away. Just like Landon. Every time I thought I was getting close he grew further away.

I wish I could stop loving this man. I wish with every single bone in my body would stop aching at the simple glance or mention of him. I wish to stop dreaming of him every time I close my fucking eyes.

I just can't escape him. He's everywhere and nowhere. I feel the bed dip beside me. He's right next to me. His scent is stronger now. Much stronger it burns into my nostrils.

I feel him shift on the bed and lay beside me. My back is still to his. Tingles rush through my body as his grazes rest on my back.

We don't speak. Not a word or sound of a word is spoken. I can tell he wants to speak but doesn't know what to say. I can hear him scratch his jaw in annoyance, "Just say what you're going to say already," I grumble.

"I'm sorry," I tense, "I don't know why I said I'm only using this case for the company. I'm not. I would never do that to you," I grit my teeth together.

"Okay, whatever," I mumble pushing myself closer to the edge, "You don't even need to be here, so for whatever reason, you're doing this for I don't care," the room falls silent again.

It's deafening this silence. It feels as if the room is screaming. I try to tone it out I try to focus on clothes because they make me happy.

I don't know how I'm meant to sleep with him next to me. I just want to cuddle into him. I want to let him hold me. I squeeze the pillow tighter in my arms.

Sleeping with some you hate so much because you love them more than you should is a pain in the ass.