𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚏𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛 || 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙴𝚃𝙴𝙳

Chapter Thirty-One

It's been two weeks. Two weeks of torture. I miss him. He hasn't even tried to call, and I know I told him not to, but if he loves me back, he would have called right? Right, but he hasn't. I guess I'm just the girl who fell in love with a man who only wanted me for sex. Who buttered me up with his sweet words to get in my pants...

A guy who blackmailed me into taking a deal to protect my friend, that made me end up falling in love like a pure idiot.

Another tear drips down my cheek.

Another FUCKING tear.

All over HIM.

I'm pathetic really. I'm so fucking pathetic.

I knew... I knew he would never love me back and guess what I still fell, I really tried hard not to, but once you start falling you can't stop.

I put distance between us, but it didn't stop my heart from aching and calling out to him just to hold me in his arms.

Nothing worked everything failed and now I'm left here laying on my bed in the same clothes I have been for the past two weeks. I'm using up all my vacation days. I just can't bring myself to get out of bed.

Cheryl and Christ come every day to make sure I eat but I refuse to move. Asher comes to make sure I've taken medication for my PTSD.

The sheet is damp underneath me from all the liquid that has left my body from the past two weeks.

I feel empty, numb... I feel dead. I feel worthless. I feel pointless. I feel used.

And to make it worse I don't care if he only used me for sex because right now, I would do anything, literally anything to have him back. Just to hug him one more time. To kiss him.

The good thing is the medication is working. They put me on sertraline it's working for now. I mean I haven't had a nightmare in two weeks... well maybe because I haven't slept but I'm forcing myself to believe it's from the pill.

Harley hasn't made an appearance yet nor have the flashbacks. If only I wasn't so depressed laying on my bed smelling like shit, I would say I feel normal but right now I feel the furthest thing from normal.

"Alright that's enough," Cheryl renters my room.

I don't spare her a glance I continue staring at the recent news article of Landon. While I've been going through pain, he has been moving on with his life like I never existed.

I still believe he is going to release all the information he holds over my head. He'll probably do it while he fucks another woman.

"Put that down right now and get you gross, sweaty ass out of bed and into the fucking shower. I've had enough of your moping mood, now get up," my phone gets snatched up from my hands, "No more torturing yourself Charlie-Rose now come on up," she grabs my arm tugging me to get up.

"Stop just leave me alone," I groan pulling my arm away from her and flipping over as more tears spill from my pathetic eyes.

I swear to god if I don't stop crying, I'm going to cut out my tear duct, "No, no, no more of this bullshit Charlie-Rose you've missed two weeks of work. You haven't changed. You've barely eaten anything," there's a dip in the bed, "You're stronger than this," she wraps her arm around my stomach, "And I wouldn't be a good friend if I let you mope any longer," I groan again in disagreement, "You can either get up willing by yourself or I call Christ and Asher in to escort you to the bathroom so I can wash you myself," she threatens, "There your options. I'm giving you ten seconds to decide on your own before I decide for you, okay?"