I will always put you first (WangXian modern au)

1. "I have to go"

Lan Xi Chen, Shanghai:

It was the 10th of the month. I knew where Wang Ji would be. As I get in the car, I call my assistant and instruct, "Cancel my morning meetings. I will be in office only after 1 pm." When I hear him confirm, I turn to my driver and tell him, "Take me to mom's. Let's go." '"Yes, sir," the driver replies. As is our routine when visiting mom, we make a pit stop at a flower place to pick up a bouquet of purple flowers, mom's favorite.

When Wang Ji had called me last night, he had told me about his plans. Plans to go to Yunnan. To assist in the rescue operations for those impacted by the floods. "I want to do this, Xiongzhang. Please don't stop me.", he had said. I understood that there was more to this request. Fighting against my impulse to prod him for more information, I had given only a monosyllable "Hm" and left it at that. 

Still, I could not help worrying. I had questions, and I wanted to meet Wang Ji face to face to talk to him. Not that it would change Wang Ji's mind. No. But I still wished to speak with my brother before he left for that place. The last time he had come back from there, he was recovering from an injury. I had also sensed that something else had happened there. Something emotional for Wang Ji. It was just a vague feeling, but that made me uneasy.

Wang Ji rarely asked for something, and so whenever he did, I always wanted to grant him his wish. However, this time I was worried. Just like how I had been worried when Wang Ji had requested to join the armed forces. "But that decision turned out alright.", my brain tries to assure me.

Six years ago, Wang Ji had returned from the States with a degree in business management and criminal psychology. He had studied business management on my insistence, criminal psychology out of his own interest. Two completely diverse fields, but Wang Ji excelled in both. I smiled, feeling proud of my little brother.

On returning to Shanghai, I had assumed Wang Ji would join the family healthcare business. No, not just a business. Our business empire. Lan group was the most renowned entity in the field of medicine, known for our state-of-the-art facilities, expert teams, and dedication to service. My uncle had worked hard to make it that way. I continued the mission without any hesitation. It was what my heart was called to do. 

For my sake, Wang Ji had tried. But I had soon found out that he had been miserable. I could see that although his heart was totally in the service aspect of medicine, the business side of things did not interest him so much. Dealing with people attracted him far less.

A year later, he had given up and joined the armed forces. Soon he had become one of the youngest Captains in the Chinese army to lead Team Alpha - an elite group of highly skilled Commandos. Every time Wang Ji was promoted or received a medal, I had felt so proud of him. My little brother. He was almost like a child to me. Wang Ji, however, had remained impassive on all his achievements and just kept on doing his duty diligently.

There was one more thing Wang Ji had always done diligently. For years. On the 10th of each month, if Wang Ji was in Shanghai, he had visited our mother's grave and paid respects. I knew that he brought her a bouquet of purple flowers each month, whichever were available in that season. I had seen him on some of these occasions. He would only stand there and look at the engraving on the stone. To an onlooker, he would just be standing there. But only I knew that his otherwise emotionless jade-like face, his pale eyes, and the slight tremor of his lips - all would be silently conveying so many unsaid words. He missed her. Even after all these years, he still misses Mom terribly.

Wang Ji respects me. He has never argued back, never opposed any of my decisions - personal or business. He supports me in every way he can. I know Wang Ji loves me. Unconditionally. But I have always felt like Wang Ji is restless about something. Like his heart is missing something. No matter how I try, this is one thing I cannot help him with. It is something he has to seek and receive. For himself. By himself.