I will always put you first (WangXian modern au)

5. "I am glad you are here"

Wei Wu Xian, Room D23 - Yunnan Military Base

My alarm goes off at 4.30 am. I know we have a long, busy day today and want to get an early start.

As I open my eyes and reach out to turn the alarm off, I feel a weight across my body. Strong arms are holding me, and a warm body is pressed into my back. I gasp. Then I remember bits and pieces of last night. My nightmare. They were hurting him, hurting my Mr. Pale Eyes. Somehow I had woken up from that dream. And then he had comforted me. I recall being held in his arms. I recall his sandalwood scent, his deep voice, the sound of his heart. I must have fallen asleep in his arms. And he had not put me down and left me alone after that. He had stayed, stayed by my side. With me. Throughout the night.

My heart starts racing a mile a minute, and I feel my face warming up. I know it must look beet red by now. I sense Captain Lan waking up as I stir. Slowly I ease out of his arms and get off the bed. He stiffens and sits up.

"Captain Lan, about last night... I am so sorry you had to see that... Ummm... That's why I wanted to have a room by myself. But they said they could not. I am terribly sorry you had to... You must have slept poorly because of me... I...," I can't speak anymore. Hot tears of shame, guilt, and sadness are threatening to spill from my eyes, and my throat is constricting.

He looks up with his pale eyes that are just starting to wake up. His hair is all tousled. A hint of stubble is showing up on his flawless face. If my eyes were not about to unleash a gigantic saltwater fountain, I would have been blushing, thinking of kissing that face. But I was rather busy (obviously!).

"Shhh... It's alright," his deep voice is soothing. "You had a nightmare. It's understandable. Don't worry about it. Afterward, I did sleep quite well. I do not feel unrested at all. Please. No need to apologize," he tries to console me.

A single tear still escapes onto my cheek. Before I can wipe it out, he gets up, and his hands reach out to hold my face. Gently, his thumb caresses away the tear. His arms wrap around me and pull me into a warm embrace. I feel safe once again. And calm. His arms move up and down my spine. I feel his face pressing down on my hair. Did he just place a kiss for me there? I blush.

"Thank you for taking care of me. I am so grateful." I nuzzle into his chest and thank him. I can sense his heartbeat becoming erratic. "So his heart beats wildly too?" I hear a naughty voice in my head.

"Between you and me, let's not bring sorry and thank-you. Okay?" Captain Lan leans away from me and asks. His arms are still holding me in place. I feel hot. Unable to speak, I nod. How do I stop blushing in front of him?

He chuckles, pats my head, and moves away. "Let's freshen up quickly. As decided yesterday, let's head out at 0600 hours. That will give us sufficient time to drop you guys at YMC and help you set up. I need to be back at the base this afternoon for a meeting." he is all business-like, as he explains. I am not entirely out of my anxiety yet, but glad at least one of us has his head on his shoulders.

"Stop having a pity party and focus on your work, Wei Wu Xian! Don't cause any more distraction for him..." I reprimand myself. I am scared of what the day could bring at Yunnan Medical Center. Ghosts of my past lurk near my heart, bringing with them fear and grief. How I wish I could just hold someone and cry my heart out. But that's a luxury I can't afford today. There are patients to be helped and lives to be saved.

Summoning whatever little bravery I can gather in my heart, I stick a smile on my face and get ready to face the day.

Lan Wang Ji, Yunnan Military Base

I can feel him being uneasy around me this morning. Last night's episode has impacted him. He tried to apologize as soon as he woke up. He is withdrawing into himself, away from me, and I don't like this feeling. Even his smile seems pained. I wonder what sadness he is hiding behind those beautiful, dark eyes. I wish I could tuck him in my arms like last night and talk to him. For the nth time, I wish he would open up to me, that he would let me in his heart.