I will always put you first (WangXian modern au)

11. "I want to tell you something..."

Wei Ying, Yunan Medical Center

Around 8 AM I walk out with Wen Ning. We grab some breakfast at a local joint and then head to his apartment. He starts catching me up with things that have happened in the past three-plus years. Aunt Nai Nai's husband passed away. Our fourth uncle has started needing pills for his high blood pressure ill continues to work at Wen's house. Several of our school kids are now working outside Yunnan. A couple of them have set up their business. By the time we reach his place I am almost up to date on life in Yunnan. We freshen up and hit the sack. I am able to get dreamless sleep for a good five hours. I feel much better. We cook chicken noodles and stir-fry veggies for lunch.

After doing the dishes he pulls me to his room and sits me down on a chair. "Xian-ge, I am glad you could come to my place today. I want to tell you something important. I need your guidance with it. If A-Jie was here I'd have spoken to her, but this isn't something I can talk about over the phone. I need to tell someone in person." His face is serious and he is scaring me.

"What is it A-Ning? What happened?" I ask him nervously.

"Xian-ge, I think something wrong is going on at YMC. I am dating Li Qin who was our junior at school. She got a job in purchasing at YMC. One day she brought some work home and I was helping her with some data, spreadsheets, etc. That's when I noticed something was off. Boxes of drugs like opioids and anti-depressants were being written off. I suspected something so I did some digging. I can show you evidence that someone is running a narcotics business right here at our hospital." He pauses and my heart is in my mouth.

"Wei Ning, have you told anyone else about this? What about Li Qin? Have you spoken to her about any of this? A-Qing? Anyone?" I ask trying hard to control my panic. 

"No, Xian-ge. No one at all. I have only collected all the details here on my computer. I wanted to go to the police. But Wen Zhu Li works there and you know how he is, so I haven't done that. I don't know how else I can get this to the attention of authorities. So I have not done anything with this."

"Good, that's good. A-Ning, listen to me and listen absolutely carefully. This could become a matter of life and death for you for your loved ones including A-Qing and Li Qin. So please trust me and do exactly as I say." I tell him as a plan forms in my head. He nods.

"How many months of contract do you still have left at the YMC?" I ask him. "Only two more months. I am thinking of moving to Beijing to be with you guys. I have already polished my resume and asked A-Jie to help me look for an opportunity there." he explains. I am relieved to hear that.

"A-Ning, I want to tell you something that I haven't told anyone. It was three years ago that I discovered the same thing you discovered now. I made an attempt and reached out to the authorities. I also told Uncle Jiang about it. Somehow the drug lords came to know about it. They threatened me, they tortured me and then they even killed Uncle Jiang and made it look like an accident. Please understand this is far more complicated and far more dangerous than you may think it to be. So I want you to not do anything at all about this for now. Understand?" I ask him.

He is shocked at what I have revealed to him. I give him some time to process and then explain further. "I am going to wipe it off completely from your computer. When you move to Beijing, let's all get together and decide what to do next. Let's make sure all of us can be safe before we do anything at all with this case. A-Ning, I have lost too much. I am not willing to take a chance with what I have left in my life. Please understand." I lay things out for him and almost beg him to listen to me.

I don't have to persuade Wen Ning too much. He trusts me as much as he trusts his sister. He does not like the fact that we will let it go for now but does not argue with my request.

I tell him I am thirsty and ask him to make some tea. When he leaves the room, I proceed to back up data in another location where I have been saving stuff that I had collected. After that, I wipe off his machine completely, delete anything that might look remotely suspicious, and clear our internet footprints. I warn him over and over to not speak of this to anyone.

By the time we have had tea, it's almost time to get back to YMC. As we get ready to head back, I ask A-Ning for his hospital access card. "When you reach the hospital today, make sure you report your access card as lost. Say that you went home this morning and you lost it somewhere in the marketplace. They will issue you a temporary one right away and then by evening, they will give you a permanent one." I explain. He is confused, but I don't elaborate. "Trust me, A-Ning." is all I say. He acquiesces. The less he knows the better.

When we enter YMC, I head straight to the coffee machine and make myself an extra-strong cup. Wanting to think of something positive, I do the obvious. I text Lan Zhan, "Back at work. This one shift and then I will be able to meet you. :-)" I am thinking he will text right back, but I don't get any response. About an hour later I understand why.

We get a flood of patients. Several buildings in a residential locality have collapsed due to water damage. Since this was evening time most people were home. Some are still trapped inside. Lan Zhan is at the site helping evacuate people along with his boys. I don't have time to feel scared when I am needed in the surgery room. I send a silent prayer for their safety. A few hours turn into days and it is Saturday evening before I am in the van going to the base.

We deal with so many people who are injured. I lose one patient and it tears my soul into pieces. A young girl, a teenager. I knew it was a nearly impossible case, considering the condition in which she was found. But I had still insisted on trying our best. Somehow our best has not been good enough. We did not even get a chance to mourn her as we were pulled into other emergencies. I bury this regret deep in my heart. I know it will come to haunt me, but I can't let it interfere with my work right now. The only reason I have not collapsed is that there are other people to save. They need us.

This has got to be the toughest, most grueling shift I have ever put in. I have managed to sleep only a couple of hours in between when my brain felt too muddled but mostly I did that sitting at my desk. I am very anxious about the doctors' lounge, so I have avoided it as best as I could.

Lan Zhan's team was able to get back to the base only earlier that morning. I have ensured some of our senior colleagues have taken all Friday off. I want them to cover for me on Saturday night and Sunday.

It's 8 PM when we disembark from the van at the base, I feel numb. Now that we are out of YMC facility, the sheer resolve I have built around myself is crumbling. Lan Zhan is waiting for us. He looks at me with a question in his eyes. He wants to know if I am alright. I try to smile, but I know it must look like a grimace. I hely no energy.

After making sure everyone is back, he jogs toward me and we walk back to D23. "Are you alright, Wei Ying? Do you want to talk about it?" he asks softly. I simply shake my head. I can't talk. I won't know where to begin.

When we are inside, he closes the door and takes me in his arms. "Your body is so tensed up. Go take a warm shower. Then you can have some soup and then go to bed. Focus only on these three tasks for today. We will deal with everything else later. Together. Can you do that? For me?" He says. I nod and as if in a trance, I complete the first step. As I step out of the bathroom, he serves hot soup. "Did you have your dinner?" I ask and he nods. He must have packed the soup for me from the mess hall. I am so grateful for him. I eat half of it before I can not eat anymore.

"I can't eat anymore. Let's sleep." I plead. He nods and tells me to get ready for bed. I brush my teeth and get on the bed. He joins me in a few minutes. I am exhausted. I am hoping the exhaustion will let me sleep. I should have known better.

I am in the OR. The little girl is struggling to open her eyes. "Dr. Wei... I don't want to go. Save me..." Her breathing is labored. There's blood everywhere and water and she raises her hand to me. I am not able to grasp it. "Noooooo..." someone screams.

I wake up. I am in my bed next to a very worried-looking Lan Zhan. I am drenched in sweat. It was me screaming. "I... I lost her... Lan Zhan... I... She was just a ch... child..."

"Shh... I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am here. Wei Ying, breathe with me, please. For me?" he moves his palm up and down my spine and urges me. I focus on his breaths and him. It takes me a while to calm down.

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{Image source: https://www.facebook.com/theuntamedC/posts/yu-bin-was-the-first-tu-cast-who-greeted-zhan-ge-on-his-birthdayyu-bin-zhan-zhan/880986185767608/}