Ice {Lashton AU}

Crash~

Luke's POV

"Lukey you need to get out of bed." Calum pleaded, poking at my side.

"Fuck off." I snapped from under a pile of blankets. My eyes were sore and blood shot from not sleeping. I felt so numb and confused. What did I do wrong? I ruined my chance of ever loving someone. I always do. Every time I get close, they just leave.

I guess I'm not enough. I guess I deserve to be alone 'cause all I ever do is hurt people. Ashton obviously doesn't want anything to do with me, but he snapped so quickly. He held my hand, he complimented me, he even kind of kissed me. So what the hell happened?

The sudden twist left my heart cracked and lost. I needed whatever Ashton had made me feel. I was finally healing from whatever scars my past left me, and then he's gone. My hope leaving with the curly haired boy. The one's who's eyes were always full of trustworthiness. Just the thought of his voice made my heart lurch.

"You can't stay like this forever." My best friend sighed.

"Watch me."

I turned away from Calum even though the view of him was already shielded from the blankets. I needed to be alone to let this empty void consume me.

"It's been a week Luke. At least tell me what happened. All I got was a weird text from Ashton sent to Michael telling me to come get you." Hearing his name even hurt. I hadn't cried since that night, and all of it was slowly building up inside me. Anger, sadness, emptiness, all ready to burst at the seams.

So I let it.

I tore the blankets off me, sitting up. Tears sprung from my eyes and sobs ripped through my body.

"H-he left me! He just fucking left saying that h-he couldn't do th-this! Telling me how he couldn't stand to hurt me. Well guess what the hell he did? I c-can't take it anymore. I can't take people leaving." My voice was scratchy and loud. I slammed my hands into head and chunked my pillows across the room. I started yanking on my messy hair and screamed into the blankets.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw that stupid penguin Ashton had won me. I threw it as hard as I could at my wall, hoping it would shatter into a million pieces. Wishing that every memory it held would blow up into bits of fluff and disappear. But it doesn't.

It harmlessly smacks off the wall and onto the floor. It's stitched smiling beak doesn't falter and cry with me. Nothing will ever feel my pain. I'm here hurting and Ashton is somewhere else thinking of everything except for me.

I was a disaster.

"Hey hey hey." Calum hushed, climbing up next to me on the torn up bed. He removed my hands from the death grip in my hair and pulled me into a hug. "I'm still here, aren't I? I won't leave you Lukey." I was making odd choking noises into the dark boy's shoulder, my body shaking.

Calum held me, though. Soft hands rubbing circles into my tensed back and arms.

"I'm s-sorry, Cal." I whispered. I don't really know what I was sorry for. I guess for not being good enough for Ashton, or for melting into a puddle of tears in his arms.

"Don't be. The only thing you need to be apologizing for is the fact that you smell like shit." He chuckled, resting his chin on my hair. I weakly laughed in between broken sobs.

The room fell silent besides my ragged crying. I enjoyed silence. It was the only thing that seemed to be constant in my life. It was becoming a comfort more than a burden. Maybe that was my destiny, to become one with nothing.

To have my light come crashing down.

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Ashton's POV