Songs I Write | VI

13 Years Later

I used to wanna runaway
I found where my mum hid my passport while I packed my suitcase
I used to wanna grow old
To never have to second guess, I'd know what I want and get it myself

But now I'm 18, I could do anything I wanted
And I don't know what I did anymore
I had it written down, planned out, I ran out of the house with my zipper undone, man, I forgot who I was, what I wanted, what I lived for

I had it figured out at five, putting plans in motion, making my sacrifice
I saved up the cash, I checked the prices, you name it, now I'm 18 and there's no way to stay here alive
I had it all written down, black ink on paper, I'm a daughter but I'd rather be my saviour
Prepared the getaway car, planned the stage and the coup
Fast forward 13 years and I'm still here wondering what to do

Because now I'm 18, I could do anything I wanted
And I don't know what I did anymore
I had it written down, planned out, I ran out of the house with my zipper undone, man, I forgot who I was, what I wanted, what I lived for

I wonder who I'll become when I'm turning 31
Will I have the apartment, steady income, loving partner I want?
Will I know where I'm going, plan the future days to run by with so much ease I'll barely need to dream
I wonder who I'll become and where I will be

Since now I'm 18, I could do anything I wanted
And I don't know what I did anymore
I had it written down, planned out, I ran out with my zipper undone, man, I forgot who I was

Who am I now at 18?
I could do anything
18
I could do anything
But I don't
I just sit at home
When it's just the house
My parents still own
I'd beg to leave
I wish that I could
If I knew somewhere to go
'Cause I could go anywhere and do anything
But I don't