Living Nightmare ~ (Bucky Barnes) COMPLETED

they know

A few days after the mission, the compound had almost returned to normal. The paperwork and been completed and although disappointed, Maddie had come to terms with the fact that Sarkov had once again evaded consequences.

The rest of the team still walked on eggshells around her and while it annoyed her slightly, Maddie knew it was because they cared and were worried about her. For the last six years Maddie had trained alongside them and assisted on various missions but they all still remembered how fragile and broken she had been when she first came to the compound. None of them wanted to risk upsetting her and putting her back in the position she had worked so hard to climb out of.

"hello? anyone home?"

Tony's voice dragged her out of her thoughts and she nodded, "yeah, I'm listening"

Maddie turned her attention to the file in front of her. Tony had spent the last week using every resource at his disposal to try and locate Sarkov. So far he had been unsuccessful, but he had found something interesting.

"so like I was saying, I haven't been able to locate Sarkov but then I got to thinking and how did we find him last time?"

Maddie shrugged, knowing he would answer his own question anyway.

"we followed the missing girls"

Maddie's eyes narrowed as she tried to work out where this was going. If Bucky had his way she would be as far away from this as possible but Maddie was determined. This was personal and she wouldn't just take a backseat and watch the others fight this battle without her. She was being careful though. She knew if she pushed too hard she would slip back to where she had been and Maddie was not a huge fan of the nightmares she'd been avoiding.

"what does that have to do with me?" she finally asked.

"nothing yet," Tony replied, "but I got JARVIS to look for patterns of missing girls, similar to when you were taken and I think that's how we're going to find him."

Maddie nodded, it made sense. But a nagging thought in the back of her head stopped her.

"what if he isn't taking girls anymore? What if his patterns changed, I mean he knows we're onto him he's not dumb enough to do the same thing twice."

Tony considered her words for a moment before picking up the file,

"well so far it's the only lead I've got" he said beginning to walk towards the door, "I'll keep you updated?"

Maddie nodded and followed him out into the corridor.

"thanks Tony"

As she turned to walk away, a figure caught her eye and she spoke,

"I can see you, Natasha"

The figure detached itself from the wall and followed behind Maddie.

"what was that about?" Natasha asked glancing back towards where Tony had walked off to.

Maddie sighed before stepping into the elevator and turning to look at Natasha. Per her request Tony hadn't told the others that he was keeping her informed and Maddie especially didn't want Nat and Bucky to find out.

Natasha stood silently next to her, waiting for her to explain herself and Maddie knew that she wouldn't get away with a lie.

"Tony was talking to me about the mission" she said.

Natasha scanned her face. "Sarkov?" she pushed.

Maddie nodded, aware of the quiet anger building in Natasha.

"I thought you were off that mission. You know it's not good for you to be reminded of the past" Nat chided her, "have you been having nightmares again?"

Maddie shook her head, "not since I saw his photo in the briefing room"

It wasn't a complete lie. After that first night Bucky had stayed with her until she fell asleep and Maddie managed to get a few hours of rest while Bucky held her. She refrained from telling Nat that the only thing stopping her nightmares was Bucky's presence and that sometimes even that wasn't enough to stop them completely. Maddie shivered as she recalled last night's episode of Things I'd Rather Forget. She had woken up abruptly, images of men with knives still fresh in her mind but Bucky's hand round her shoulders had calmed her enough to prevent the screaming and she eventually managed to slip back into a restless sleep.

Natasha watched her as she exited the elevator, unconvinced by her words but not wanting to push any further. She knew if Maddie wanted to she would tell her and Nat was happy to leave her be if she thought that's what was best. Besides, if she couldn't get it out of Maddie, she could always try getting it from Bucky.

***

"I've got a bone to pick with you, Sergeant" Nat announced as she made her way into the lounge. Bucky sat on the sofa, chatting to Sam and he looked up as Natasha walked over to him, raising his eyebrows in confusion.

"what did I do?" he questioned innocently.

San stood up and made his way to the door, "whatever he did, it had nothing to do with me" he said as he left. Bucky rolled his eyes - of course Sam wasn't going to stick up for him.

Natasha stood in front of him, eyeing up the man carefully. "Maddie" she said simply, watching the expression in his face change.

"what about Maddie?" he probed, "is she okay, has something happened?"

"well that's what I want you to tell me. Apparently Tony has been keeping her informed on the mission even after she promised to stay away, and she just told me that she hadn't had any more nightmares which is an obvious lie"

Bucky leaned forward in his seat. "she hasn't had one as badly as the first night" he said quietly, "She woke me up screaming so I went to check on her and she asked me to stay." he paused, looking at Nat's reaction. Her face remained expressionless.

"every night since then I've stayed with her and she's managed to sleep for a few hours but I know she's not okay. She talks sometimes, pleading with someone to let her go and she never makes it all the way through the night without waking up at least once."

Natasha nodded taking in the information. "she won't stop with this mission even when it's affecting her this much" Bucky agreed, knowing full well she was right.

"as much as I wish she'd stay away from it, I know where she's coming from. I killed the people that tortured me, I can't blame her for wanting some justice"

Nat moved to sit down next to him and placed her hand on his arm. "I know you care about her" she started and Bucky blushed.

"of course I do, she's one of my best friends" he interrupted

Nat gave him a knowing look, "don't try and hide it Barnes, I'm a spy remember. It's my job to find out secrets, although you haven't been doing a great job at hiding it. Even Sam knows how you feel about her" she chuckled. Bucky sighed and thought for a moment. He supposed he hadn't exactly been subtle about it, but then again, Maddie seemed to remain clueless.

Seeming to know exactly what he was thinking, Nat spoke "maybe if you talk to her you'll find out" she pointed out, "anyway my point is, I know that you really care about her and I know that you'll do everything you can to keep her safe. I trust you"

With that, Natasha stood and walked out, leaving Bucky sat alone on the sofa to think about her words.