Living Nightmare ~ (Bucky Barnes) COMPLETED

aftermath

It had been a week since the snap and Maddie had barely stopped crying. Everytime she thought there was nothing left in her a new wave of emotion threatened to drown her. Tucked away in Bucky's room in the compound, desperately trying to hold onto any memory of him even though they hadn't lived here in years, Maddie missed Tony's return. She missed the revelation that even in space, Thanos' snap had worked, she missed the news that the spider kid from Germany hadn't made it. She even missed the arrival of a new hero and she was in no fit state to follow the broken remains of her family into space to confront Thanos.

What she didn't miss was the pain, the regret, the suffering of each and every person within the compound. Every emotion felt amplified tenfold and Maddie wished she could just shut it all off, find some way to tune it out. There was a little peace when the others disappeared off to find Thanos, Maddie was just left with her own pain and the lingering worry that no one would return and she would lose the rest of her friends. When they made it back she allowed herself to be happy for a moment but it was short-lived as their failure overwhelmed her. Each member thought they should have done more, each blamed themselves, looking for any small detail they could have changed to affect the outcome. It didn't take long for people to start leaving. Tony left with Pepper, off to try and repair their lives, Rocket and Carol went off to space and Rhodey left to help. In the end it was just Steve, Nat and Maddie left in the compound.

Nat helped Maddie process her grief and Steve started up his own support group for people who had lost loved ones in the snap. He tried to convince Maddie to join him a couple of times but she wasn't ready to leave the compound and he didn't want to push her. Outside the walls of the compound the rest of the world was still grieving and Maddie couldn't face it yet. Her powers allowed her to feel more deeply than Steve and although his heart ached for the loss everyone was dealing with, Maddie could literally feel everyone's pain so she mostly kept to herself in the compound.

Eventually, Steve moved out, back to his old apartment in the city. It was easier for him there, not being constantly reminded of the friends that weren't around anymore. He dropped by occasionally but it was pretty much just Nat and Maddie living in the compound. Nat never stopped trying, she wouldn't let herself give up no matter how close she came. Maddie couldn't tell if it was for her sake or if Nat genuinely believed there was a way to fix it but either way she was grateful.

***

~ one year later ~

Maddie rolled out of bed and slipped on a hoodie. It was still dark out, she hadn't slept through the night since the last day her and Bucky shared in Wakanda but she had come to terms with it. Every morning she went for a run and when she came back she would cook breakfast for her and Nat. It had become their own little routine and slowly Maddie found herself stealing little moments of happiness.

"Morning sunshine" she called as Nat wandered through the kitchen.

"smells good in here"

"I made pancakes" Maddie said with a flourish, setting a plate down in front of Nat.

She took a bite, expressing her thanks as Maddie slid into the seat next to her.

"What's the occasion?" Nat asked warily.

"Can I not make a nice breakfast for my favourite roommate?" Maddie feigned innocence.

"I'm your only roommate" Nat started, narrowing her eyes.

Maddie shrugged, shovelling a forkful of pancake into her mouth.