Indebted Love

♡ quatre ♡

I stand alone in my hotel room, watching myself in front of the mirror; my feet glued to that one spot as my eyes sees as far as my soul is. It's even more lonely than I thought. No matter how much my veil covers my face, I can still see me through those lace gaps- even the tiniest space between the threads- exposing me as a coward and idiot.

I went with it.

I didn't stand up to my parents.

Instead, I cover myself with a off shoulder wedding dress, exactly fitted for me, tight on my waist, lose on my legs. My heels isn't tight and loose. My hair. My hair is in box braids. I have fucking lace gloves, with a fat shiny diamond ring.

Am I that desperate for love? Looking for scraps of affection without much effort? The money I understand but this is marriage. I'm going to get married.

I contemplate running away with Katie, ditching the wedding and fly out of state but my feet stays grounded and the mirror forces me to look at the pros and cons of my life. It's only three years really, I convince myself, I can fast for forgiveness in front of the Lord. I can stay with Katie and my family but that will only satisfied me for a while...not since the guilt of my marriage obligation would eat me up and I'm forced to go home and please my husband. Oh God!

That was enough for me to violently rip myself away from the mirror, the balls of energy in my heels as I open the door and practically storm to the private balcony where Angel would definitely be there.

It's empty except the hotel workers walking on and about preparing a wedding that should not happen. I told Katie Katie leave me alone quite harshly- more harshly than I anticipated, which totally expanded this dark circle around me. Even if God's beautiful morning shine blinding my eyes and creating a shine on Angel, I'm still tormented by the darkness.

I stop just a metre from Angel, my dress clenched in my hands and my view swaying side to side, changing position as fast as my thoughts racing a millions miles. My heart beat picks up. I'm breathless from walking so fast yet not fast enough. My stomach churns uncontrollably.

He's quite handsome, my inner voice says. My mouth opens to speak- no to demand a cancellation of this blasphemers thing we're doing. It's there. My confident voice. Speak Jalah, speak.

"Jalah is it that you?" Angel has an angelic voice. "Can I turn around?" He turns. He's blindfolded.

Okay, I'm sliding back now. I can't stop eyeing him up and down. The dark purple suit on him looks exquisite. It's perfectly moulded on him. His arm isn't popping out like anything else he wears and it's his slim build and his shoes shines with taste. He's holding something. A single purple rose with thorns and all. He remembered.

"You can take the blindfold off." I say, hoping my voice doesn't crack under pressure. I watch him nervously, my eyes burning with fresh tears as Angel slowly unties the tie with one hand and lets it fall loose through his fingers.

I watch the fabric hit the ground then slowly look up to meet Angel's blue greenish orbs. His pupils are dilated and he has his mouth open. He closes it. Smiles. Steps forward and holds out the rose out to me.

Our fingers merely brushes but undeniable sparks rushes to my core. My breaching slows as our eyes meet again, time slowing down as Angel tales in my appearance whilst keeping that wide eyed look on his face. I blush immensely, my knees shaking and my soles burning heavily on the heels.

"You look very beautiful Jalah," Angel whispers, surprising me by taking my free left hand and kisses the back of it. "Like an angel even,"

I laugh, smiling with my teeth as I relax my shoulders. Angel is still holding my hand. In fact, he took a step forward, leaning in so he can see through the threads of my veil.