The Criminal's Love

Chapter 36

"I have been telling myself that my father would never betray me. I said it so proudly too." I paused, thinking of how many times doubts had appeared in my mind about my father but I had always pushed them back, thinking there was no way he would lie to me. "Walid told me my father doesn't have anything to do with us getting married. He lied, both of them lied looking straight into my eyes."

Ariana's hand squeezed mine and I looked up at her. I had spent the last couple hours in her room. We were seated facing each other and it felt like we had a therapy session because I kept going on and on expressing my thought and feelings while she listened.

"I knew about the contract. My father messed up in his younger days and had to give something valuable to Mikael's father. They decided on me, to give me away. I still didn't blame my father for that, he had to do it in order to protect the whole family. When the time arrived, my father backed out. He couldn't let Mikael take me with him. I knew all that." I recalled everything I had found out and it felt like my head was about to burst.

"But I never knew he asked Walid for help. He asked him to marry me, by force, and pretended he didn't come up with the whole idea? How could he stand in front of me and lie? I cried everyday and he didn't bother telling me. If only he had sat me down and told me everything. Did he think I wouldn't understand if he talked to me?" I asked Ariana, feeling devastated.

"I don't know what to say. Even I didn't know it was your father's idea." She said honestly.

"If he had told me about the situation, I would do as he saw fit in order to protect my family. Heck, I would go to Mikael. In order to stop the war and protect my family, I would sacrifice myself. I would go to Mikael without blinking...." I uttered, feeling my hatred for Mikael getting even stronger. If he hadn't existed, none of this would have happened.

Or if I hadn't existed...

"Maybe that's why your father had to do this, he knew you would hand yourself to Mikael to protect your family. That man is a monster Jasmin, no father would want his daughter to end up with him." Ariana's words rang in my ears.

"I had nightmares about him almost everyday after that day he shot Walid. I live in this constant fear that he's gonna take me away and kill me." I felt a shiver rush through my body and I wanted nothing else than to rush into Walid's arms and hide there forever.

Although, I couldn't. He had lied to me. It made me wonder how many other things he lied about.

He told me last night he needed me by his side, was it a lie? He tells me at least once a day that he's never letting me go, is he uttering lies? Will he toss me out of here when I'm not in 'danger' anymore?

"Walid and my father should've just told me. I wouldn't cry myself to sleep everyday. There was a burning fire inside me those weeks. All that could've been avoided if they had just told me. Didn't they even once think how much it would hurt me to find out my father knew and instead of telling the truth he pretended to show sympathy?" I took a deep breath and leaned back in the couch. I pulled up my legs and rested my arms around them.

"I know dear, I've always told you and I'll keep telling you, you didn't deserve what happened to you. Whoever's idea it was, you didn't deserve it. But the only thing your father and Walid want is to protect you. They used the wrong ways but they just want to protect you." I closed my eyes hearing her say those words.

Maybe I was being ungrateful. Instead of thanking them I was making a fuss. But they could protect me without lying to me and keeping me in the dark.

"I ruined Walid's life. He was happy without me and my father went and asked him to marry me...I feel like a burden on everyone. I hate myself so much." I cried out, feeling my chest tighten.