Jaime

Page 19

A month after they were born Ellis and Ellia decided that they were settled enough they wanted to take them to the mall. My biggest fear was my little daughter that took a week to name because we couldn't find a name that felt right. Then Brock came up with Angelica. That was perfect. So she was out little Angel. How would we do her? She was our daughter but people would just see a puppy. They decided to just put her in the stroller with the boys and be done with it. Let people think what they wanted. She had a cute little onesy on and little bow on her head. A slit in her clothes and diaper let her tail out. We had an old fashioned pram that was a little extra large so that we could lay all three of them in together.

As we walked I found a problem I hadn't prepared for. Ellis couldn't acknowledge them as his. Humans saw Ellia and she was praised to have twin boys. Ellis was just their quirky uncle to the humans. I knew it was getting to him as he scooped up our daughter and held her tight to his chest. I nosed at his arm and her little head.

'I'm sorry Ellis. I never thought about how the humans would see this. It's simple thing in a way to be acknowledged as a father but it's complicated as to why you can't say they are yours as well.' he gives a wobbly sigh and kisses her head.

"They are having fun I don't want to ruin it but I want to go home with my babies. All three of them. I want our little girl to just be our daughter and not our pet. It's offensive that they tease about her being our 'pet that is our baby'." I turn and look for Brock and Ellia. They have the boys in their arms and are having a ball. Ellis grabs my fur and pulls.

"No, don't bother them. They are having fun and this is good for the boys." but we weren't. I let it go for now. He kept Angel in his arms with a little blanket over her. I stayed right with him. We stayed for hours. As we walked I got more and more frustrated. Finally I got Brock's attention and dragged him into a service hallway to talk to him.

"What's wrong? I thought we're having a good time." Brock says.

'Oh you and Ellia definitely are. The boys are. But you aren' thinking about this from Ellis and my perspective. He can't claim the babies as his. We can't show off Angel as our daughter and be happy no matter what. They are triplets, not twin boys. You and Ellia, the boys, the humans see you as the perfect and cute little couple with their twins. Ellis and I are the hanging on uncle, and pets. Ellis has wanted to go home for hours, he's depressed and hurt and you haven't noticed. I can't do anything as I am.' I see him wince and his face fall.

"Your right, I'm sorry. I was just having fun. It's been enough lets go home." we exit to see a security guard with Ellia and Ellis. "What's going on?" Brock asks. I see the guard look at me and see my service dog harness. I sit at Brock's feet like the good dog I was supposed to be.

"He said we can't have her in here because she's a dog." Ellis says. I hear the hurt and tears in his voice. He holds her tighter. She was our daughter not a dog. I see the realization hit Brock fully of what it all meant to Ellis and our daughter. He'd been with me as kids. He'd seen the trouble but it was all different now, this was our daughter. He was an adult now who really comprehended what it all meant.

"As you see I have a service dog. She'll take over for him in a few years. But the best thing for her is socialization from a young age. You understand?" the guard nods.

"Yes but keep track of it. She's a health violation technically." the tears Ellis had pushed back fall over. I don't wait for Brock but go over and start herding Ellis into a service hallway. I don't know what the guard will say or what Brock will say to excuse the behavior but I herd him into the hallway and shift back so I can wrap him in my arms.

"Did you hear him?" Ellis says crying. "He called her it, and a dog." I knew what would happen but I don't think for all that Ellis knew it would happen that he understood how it would feel. Brock and Ellia came into the hallway. I look at Brock angry with him for letting it go this far. For not recognizing our mates distress. Ellis looks at Brock.

"I'm done I want to go home."

"Sure you guys stay here I'll get the car and meet you at the other end of the hallway." he hurries off while Ellia comes over and hugs Ellis. For the first time I see him pull from her, rejecting her comfort.

"Better keep an eye on the boys. They'll sense our upset and be upset themselves." he says and turns into my arms. He was blaming her I can see it. She had it easy with them and Brock and got what Ellis wanted, acknowledged. She was hurt at the rejection but turned to the boys who were indeed fussy at feeling our upset. I just held Ellis until Brock called that he was there. The new SUV was able to hold the three car seats and Ellis squeezed in with them I sat in the back end. When we got home the boys were settled into the bassinet in the bedroom while Ellis held Angel and lay in bed crying. I lay with him and tried to just be a support and comfort for him. Ellia sat on the other bed looking at Ellis.

"I don't understand Ellis." she says. He was angry now as he sat up.

"Of course you don't. Think about it Ellia, you get to be there with Brock as your lovely boyfriend, your twin boys and be the perfect family. One of those boys, I gave birth to and no one will ever get to know. He's got a sister I'm proud of and she gets called a pet and a dog. I don't get to walk through the world with Jaime at my side as my boyfriend and show them our beautiful daughter. Do you know how much it hurt to see you and not get to do the same?" Angel began to whimper and whine in his arms. I took her and held her trying to calm her. But she knew Ellis was upset. Ellis sobs and I see anger in it now.

"It's not fair. It's not fair at all. She's my daughter he's my son. I birthed them." he says. Ellia is crying now she moves to sit next to him and hugs him tight crying with him.

"Ellis I'm so sorry. I never thought about it. I'm so sorry."

"I shouldn't have to explain this Ellia, you are her mother. Didn't it bother you to hear him call her a dog, our pet?"

"I knew he didn't know any better. I know she's my daughter and we love her." I really thought the way she was able to know and realize things while not getting upset was because she hadn't birthed Angelica. Though she was pretty accepting about everything. It just rolled off of her where it bothered the rest of us. Ellia reached over and I let her take Angelica.

"She's our beautiful little girl. I know how people will think of her but I know better. She'll know better. I love her. So what if anyone else gets it." I loved how accepting she was of me and of Angelica now but it wasn't going to be easy for Ellis and I think it was going to cause trouble between them at times. Ellis sighs and wipes his face.

"It's really good that you are just accepting of her and Jaime that they are just the people you love and nothing more but try to remember that for me, this hurts that I can't have it shown to the world that I love them the way it should be. Okay?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. I'll try to be better." she smiled at Ellis. "Did you notice that when you got to far away with her JJ would get upset. He doesn't mind her not being in the pram but he doesn't like her being far away. Watch." she stands and goes out into the hall. Sure enough JJ starts fussing and as she stays away he gets worse. I laugh and go pickup JJ.

"What's wrong missing your sister?" as soon as Ellia comes back JJ settles but now he's not settling completely. I hold him down next to her and he reaches for her. As soon as he touches her little furred hand he's fine.

"They are twins, no matter how it's seen out of our family. He'll want her around. He spent months just the two of them. They are the comfort for each other. Two halves of a whole. We might think of him and BJ as twins but it's Angel he'll need and when they get older it's her that will share a mate with him."

That night as we settle into bed my old worry for her settled in and I sat awake for hours watching her cuddle with her brother and knew they'd be seen as different. I hoped they were up for the challenge that their life would be.