What's wrong? (SJ)

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Mama!Scar

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There's this girl. Her name is Dakota and she's in my science class. I could just think of her all day and I wouldn't get bored. I have never felt this way towards someone before. It's really confusing. I mean, I suddenly can't stop thinking about her and she's the only person I want to be around. This isn't normal, is it?! I was talking to my friend Ash about my feelings and they said I have a crush on her.

"A crush! I don't think so-"

"Do you think about spending the rest of your life with them and no one else"

I keep quiet and they took that as their answer.

I've never had a crush before and I feel like I need to talk to someone who's had one before. I can't talk to Ash because they haven't had one before and I can't talk to anyone else because no one apart from Ash knows I like girls. I only figured it out a few months ago though when I discovered the LGBTQ+ community so I haven't really gotten around to telling anyone before. I will if need be but the subject hasn't really come up before, but now's a better time than any to do it; i'll tell my Aunt Lizzie before anyone else though. I tell her everything, probably more than I tell my Mum, and I know she'll accept me 100%.

I'm hanging out at Lizzie's house and she asks me how school's going.

"It's going okay! I'm doing well in all of my classes especially in science, but that's probably because of Dakota. She's like super smart and she helps me all the time which is so sweet. She's so sweet and kind and-" I then stop because I realise I'm rambling about Dakota like I'm obsessed with her.

"Oooooohhh who's this Dakota girl? I've never heard of her before"

"She's no one don't worry"

"Oh come on Y/N she's not no one, what's up"

"Nothing, nothing's wrong. I just-" I then put my head in my hands and start crying.

"Oh honey, what's wrong?! Come here" She pulls me into a hug and strokes my hair.

"Aunt Lizzie" I say meekly.

"Yeah"

"I like girls"

"Oh Y/N, that's great! I'm so happy you felt safe enough to tell me" She kisses my head, "Does your Mum know yet"

"Uh, no. You're the first person apart from Ash I've told. I-I will tell her eventually, I'm just scared"

"Of what"

"Her not accepting me and me getting kicked out or things changing between us"

"You know that will never happen right" I look up at her, "Of course there's no rush in telling her, you do it whenever you're ready to. However, if that reason to not tell her is because you're afraid of those things then there is no reason. Listen Y/N, your Mum is one of the most accepting people I know and I also know that she loves you more than anything in this world"

"So you think she'll accept me"

"Definitely" I hug her, "So tell me more about this Dakota girl"

Ugh.

The Next Day

I'm coming back home after staying at Lizzie's house and it's my Mums day off today so I have a plan. We are going to do face masks whilst watching Dreamgirls (obvi) and then after the movie's finished I'll tell her.

I walk through the door and my Mum's shouting at someone on the phone.

"Are you being serious right now??!!! Why would I do that" She shouted.

I don't think she saw or heard me come in so I waited until she was off the phone.

"Ugh, go fuck yourself Johnny" She then hung up on whoever she was talking to, "Oh hi Y/N, I didn't hear you come in. How was it at your Aunt Lizzie's" She was looking for something so she wasn't really looking at me when she was talking.

"Yeah it was fun, I was thinking for your day off today we coul-"

"Oh I'm really sorry sweetie but I have to go back into work, they added a few extra scenes and they need to be finished by today"

"Oh okay" I looked down at my fingers, "Maybe when you get back we can do what I had planned"

"Yeah I would love that. I don't know how long I'll be gone for though, so if you get hungry you can order something through my account okay"

"O-Okay"

"I love you" She kissed me on the forehead and left.

Oh well, another time I guess.

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