𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥

end of the road

"Lia it's here."
Those were the first words I heard as I walked into the door with River in tow. My mom was impatiently holding, actually gripping, a large envelope from CalArts. My dad was seated by the kitchen island, with his phone in hand watching an ESPN video.

My Letter.

I hurried over towards my mom, taking the envelope and sitting at the island next to my dad. River stood opposite of us with his phone out to record as my mother jumped in joy making sure to thank him for recording. Romeo watched from the distance as I opened the envelope.

"You're In!"

Was written in bold at the top of the cardstock paper, with a picture of the campus. Another paper in the envelope was a letter stating they were glad to accept me into their program. I read everything out loud with a smile as my mom squealed, "MY BABY GOT IN!!"

One thing about my mom, when it comes to accomplishments she's gonna celebrate. No matter what Romeo or I do she's always proud and reminding us of how amazing we are at everything we do. River smiled from behind his phone, "How does it feel?"
"Like I just won the freakin' lottery."

***

A while after River went home, I got a video messaged to me of him opening his letter with his parents. He also got into CalArts, meaning we both had a possibility of going for the fall for film and art. My dad made reservations for dinner, wanting both of our families to come together and celebrate our achievement. I was happy, I felt relieved. My biggest fear was not getting in and now it was over. But I still had a fear that River wouldn't want to go, he was waiting to hear back from Rutgers still. I knew me hoping he'd choose to go with me was selfish, but I really wanted to be close.

"So, is CalArts 100% your choice, Lia?" River's mom, Salani, asked.
"Yes, I got into a couple other fine arts programs but CalArts is my dream school."
"That's nice. I'm so happy for you two," she exclaimed, "Our babies have really grown up."

"It feels like just yesterday she was crying at their fifth grade graduation," my dad joked. Everyone laughed, "In my defense they had us sing a very emotional song." Every year they had the kids sing End of The Road by Boyz II Men.

I still remember that day clearly. I was wearing a navy blue dress with a matching headband. I had gotten a lot of awards, specifically 4 plaques, 5 certificates and a trophy along with a golden honor roll chord. The wind was pretty bad that afternoon and I was freezing during our grad walk, River and I weren't close friends back then but he noticed I was cold and gave me his hoodie. Looking back it was kind of funny. He was dressed up, but had on a minecraft hoodie.

Everyone around me was talking, but I had tuned them out. All I could think about was how River and I had so many moments that were little before even actually speaking this school year. I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault. Of course not being friends before isn't something to feel guilt about, but I felt like I didn't even think about it. I was so stuck on the friends I had, and being around popular people. And River had always been a sweet boy since I met him. I would wave to him in the halls or in class we'd share a smile. And I remember the time he held his umbrella above me after I realized mine was at home. We were 9.

I looked over at him as he sat on the left of me. He looked down in concern, "You okay," was whispered as our families continued speaking.
"Mhm, just thinking."

He smiled, "About what?"
"I'm grateful, I'm happy about how my life has turned out so far. And I'm happy you're a part of it."
"I'm happy too."

It genuinely is insane to me that I started this book the first semester of my sophomore year in 2019. I am a senior in my second semester now. I specifically remember writing chapters during lunch in class and reading all the comments later that night. I do not care if it takes 5 years and no one is no longer reading, I will finish this book. I'm so proud of how far it's gotten even if I did keep dropping it. It's hard to believe I'm in the same grade as my characters now because my life isn't even half as eventful as theirs, my mother doesn't even like me being on the same couch as my bf and Lia flew across the country with hers🙄