Your Icy Exterior

Who Are You Now

It had been a few weeks since I have become the commanders guard. We have become freinds. Well I still haven't told about my true past. But I'm not sure I ever will.

I also still have not talked to or even tried to talk to any of skikru. I see the way they look at me, the way they jump, and stiffen up when I enter the room they are afraid of me.

The only one that doesn't look at me with a form of disgust is Octavia. I remember much from my childhood with Octavia. I discovered her when I went over to Bellamy room when he was out sick from school. They tried to play Octavia off as a freind from school but I knew she was not. We became fast freinds. I would bring worksheets from school to help her learn. And keep her company when she was bored. I also taught her basic fighting moves that my father taught me.
I missed her and hoped I would be able to recover our friendship, but I knew that ment revealing who I truly was. And I'm not sure I was up for that yet.

I stood beside Lexa at the meeting. We had finally finished the plan. Now we just needed to assign jobs to people.
Raven team would take out the dam. Octavia and indras group would lead through the tunnels, and Lexa and Clarke would lead the army at the main door. Now all we need was a inside man to disable the acid fog.
But as for who would go in, we were struggling with. Clarke had voted against sending Bellamy in so now we were at a cross road.

"I can do it" I finally said. I didn't truly want to, but I knew I was the most qualified person to do it. I had experience with computers, not that everyone else knew that. But I also had certain talent for getting into places I shouldn't be.

"What no y/n, we will find someone else to do it, you are not going" Lexa said evenly.

I saw everyone else look at us, I was about to continue before I was cut off.

"Why not from what iv heard she is one of the best assasins in tbe clans, if she can't get in I don't know who can" Octavia said.

"But you don't know how to disable the acid fog" Lexa said. I don't understand why she was so against this. I can do this. I'm no bitch.

"Then raven can teach me. Right?" I said looking at the mechanic.
She looked indecisive, but then nodded.
"Ya by the time I'm done you'll be able to hot wire the whole mountain" she said giving me her signature smirk.
I nodded.
I then looked at Lexa. She seemed to be indecisive. I could tell she still didn't want to let me do it, but she had no real reason to not let me go.
She looked me in the eyes, I could see emotions swirling around in her eyes. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"Alright then, it seems we have settled everything" I said. And with that everyone left the tent. And I followed raven.

"Well shit you catch on fast, I thought all grounders wanted to see technology die" she said smirking.

We finished learning about acid fog a while ago and now I was helping her with the noise things for the reapers, I had no clue what the hell they were called.

"Well I guess I had a good teacher. And yes grounders don't usually like technology. But most people are afraid of things they don't understand" I said still working on the reaper thing.

I felt the mechanic staring into the side of my head.
"Is that your way of you trying to tell me that you aren't a deadly assasin, and instead a freidnly little puppy, was that your message." She asked raising an eybrow.

I sighed.
"No, the stories are true. I'm only saying that things on the ground are different. Working under Nia is different. If you don't do what she wants you spend the rest of your life running away from them, from her" I said not looking up at her.