Your Icy Exterior

I have no path

I sat in that room for what seemed like years. My hand still on the lever that just ended so many lives. My eyes looking at the screen, but not comprehending what was really going on.

I did it. I'm the reason there all dead. I killed them.

I barley registered through the screen, Abby being taken off the table by Clarke. I looked at the other screens recognizing Lexa walking here people out of the mountain.

Time had passed and I still sat there. I couldn't bring myself to move. Everyone left the mountain. No one even came to check on me. They all knew I did it, yet they didn't care. No one cared. Those words kept ringing in my head as I slowly walked through the mountains hallway. Just taking it all in. I then walked to the one place I knew they would all be.

I opened the door and was met with a terrible smell. Red, burned body littered the table of the mess halls. I stared for seemed to be minutes. My eyes glazed over. It didn't even feel like I was there. I knew physically my body was standing in the room with all of the mountain men. But I couldn't help but feel I was dying with them. My soul was being taken with them.

I slowly gathered up all the bodys and put them in the incinterater. Hours went by till I finally finished.

I once again found my self walking about the mountain. And found myself in the control room. I walked back over to the lever I so desperately wished I never pulled, and set my hand on it. I looked down at my hand. It was red. I wiped it on my pants, but the blood stayed. Like it was tattood on my skin. I desperately tried wiping it off. It didn't come off. I shook my head desperately to shake away the sharp pain that pounded in my head. Once it subsided I looked back to my hands only to see them free of blood.

God I'm losing my mind.

I went back to the computer. No one should come back into this place. No one will come back into this place.
I logged into the computer. I was able to transfer all of the controls onto a single key card that only I possessed.

I looked over the cameras again making sure no one was still here. Then I started the timer.
My walk out of the mountain was slow. I was in no hurry to escape the flames the mountain was soon to be engulfed in.

I finally reached the exit of the mountain. The door that had been seeled shut for almost 100 years, wide open. I stood there questioning if I should just let myself burn with the mountain.

Alarms sounded all around. Alerting everyone nearby of what was soon to take place.

I looked a ways away to see the camp that was set up. Sky people and grounders together. Getting ready to leave the mountain. But I couldn't help but think that I would not be leaving with them. None of them seemed to notice my lack of presence with them.

So I walked over to the panel for the door and then clicked the button. Locking the door with me inside.

I continued my final journey through the mountain. I traveled up some stair well till I reached the top. It was a large metal door. I used my key card, and it opend up. I was surprised to see a lab. I looked clean. I walked around the bright white room. Its flourecent lights, vastly different. I walked around to another room. A tiny vile sat on the shelf . I picked it up examining it. Black liquid filled the vile. It was small no longer than the palm of my hand. I had no clue what it was. Some sort of experiment.

I examined the sides. I single button on the side.
I felt the button with my finger tips. On end of the vile sitting on the inside of my wrist.

All of a sudden the mountain started to shake. I felt a pinch on my wrist. I looked down and gasped to see the black liquid filling my viens.

My arm began to burn. My viens turned black, and spread up my arms. I dropped to the ground. I scratched at my arms. The burn spread. I could feel it throughout my body. I screamed I had never felt this pain before.

It spread up to my neck. And then I felt paralyzed my whole body was burning.

Then everything felt still.

I could feel the mountain shaking around me. The alarms still blaring. And lights flashing. But that all went away as my eyes closed.

*Lexa POV *

I sat in my tent still waiting for y/n to return. I new she pulled the lever. And that she is most likely drowning right now. Its been hours since then, and I am about to go look for her. I haven't talked to her since the attack by the mountain men. I haven't stopped worrying about her since she left. And it hurt more than I care to admit that she left without saying goodbye. Even if it was my fault.

I heard a commotion outside the tent and wanted to check it out.

Outside was a boy talking loudly with Clarke. I walked up behind her.

"Whats seems to be the problem here?" I asked.

They all stopped. Clarke looked confused as well.

"They are looking for someone, but they won't tell me who" Clarke said.

I looked at them confused.

"You won't tell us who your looking for?" I asked the two boys.
They didn't seem familiar. Ut it was clear Clarke knew them.

"Its complicated. We just need to know if everyone is alright, and that everyone is here at camp. Because we need to see someone" the shaggy haired boy said.

"Why can't you just tell me there name Jasper?" Clarke asked getting irritated.

The boy named Jasper looked conflicted. Now I was curious.
Then another boy ran up to Jasper.

"I couldn't find y/n, any luck" the darker skinned boy asked Jasper.

My eyes widened.

"How do you know y/n? You never met her have you?" Clarke asked.

The two boys eyes widened.

"Why are you looking for my guard?" I asked the boys.

"Jasper?... monty..? Explain". Clarke said lowly.

"God... no we can't can you just help us find her. We can explain later. Everyone is here besides her" Monty said quickly.

Clarke stared for a moment before nodding.

That was untill be heard a loud noise sound in the distance. Everyone stopped to look at the mountain. Lights flashed and alarms sounded. We all looked at eachother before taking off towards the mountain.

We were second from reaching the mountain.

"Open the door" I commanded.

They grabbed the door desperately trying to get it open.

"Its locked" Jasper said.

"Then well go around, let's go" I said quickly.

We didn't make it very far when we felt the blast of the mountain. It pushed us back and I gasped as my body impacted the ground.

Ash landed all around us. I layed there for a few seconds.

She's gone. She's gone. She's gone.
Thats what repeated in my head as I stared at the burning mountain.

I felt someone hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do now. She made her choice" Clarke said quietly. She sqeezed my shoulder before walking off.

I couldn't help but stare. I felt tears fall down my face and I couldn't even help but stop them.

I felt someone grab me from under my arms and lift me up. When I was on my feet I could help but run for the mountain. I was only a few steps away when then someone grabbed me. I tried to fight them. But my body was hurting every where. I could tell they were saying something but I couldn't focus.

I felt then pull me closer to them. They wrapped there arms around me tightly. I finally gave up. I sobbed into them. I felt hands rub my back.

"Its alright, I got you"

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1404 words.