deceit - sirius black

sixteen

They'd slept in that morning: they had school, but when Sirius' alarm went off and Sabrina began stressing about needing to get back to the dungeons, he told her not to worry about it, and that they could afford a morning off school. Considering Sabrina's attendance record, this wasn't strictly true, but she was too tired to argue, and went back to sleep anyway.

They ended up sleeping until James, Remus and Peter came back to the dormitory during the lunch break, and went to school for the afternoon. When school, ended, Sirius asked Sabrina to come back to the common room, but she told him she had 'family stuff', and said she'd see him the next day.

The family stuff in question was attending a Death Eater meeting with Sam. Lying to Sirius was becoming a habit, and not one she liked. Between him and the Death Eaters, she was double-crossing somebody, but she couldn't exactly figure out which it was.

"Sabrina." The Dark Lord's sharp voice drew her attention away from her daydreaming while in the meeting, "How are things going with young Sirius?"

"Good, My Lord," she nodded, "I think he's starting to trust me enough that the task should be completed soon." What am I saying? she thought - why on earth was she making a promise she knew she couldn't keep?

"Good..." he said, "I hope that he is here amongst us in the near future."

The meeting continued, but Sabrina returned to her own thoughts, now also distracted by the sight of her boyfriend's little brother sitting across from her at a table filled with the most dangerous wizards in the country. He was one of them.

She doubted Sirius knew, considering he wanted nothing to do with his family: but he cared for his brother, and deserved to know if Regulus was in danger. But for Sabrina to tell him, she'd need an excuse as for how she came to find out, other than also being a Death Eater. So for now, there remained yet another secret she had to keep.

After the meeting, Sabrina and Sam returned to the house they'd moved to after their parents died: most of the time, considering Sabrina was at school, it was just Sam, and now Anne, his girlfriend. The house rather lacked character, but Anne was trying to change that by decorating: the house was now riddled with old curtains on the floor to protect the carpets from paint, which now sat on some walls while others were still the same colour.

Stepping over a few cardboard boxes from lamps and curtain rails, which Anne had bought, Sabrina sat down on the sofa, watching Sam, who sat with a book to her left. Anne was away for a few days, visiting her parents, so Sabrina thought it a good time to bring up something that had been on her mind, while it was sure to be just the two of them.

"Sam?" she spoke timidly.

"Mm?"

"I don't know if I want to do it anymore."

"Do what?" He set his book down.

"The Sirius thing. It feels wrong."

"Sabrina," Samuel chuckled, "You can't just decide to not do what the Dark Lord has asked of you. And Walburga and Orion are his parents, they should have him back if they want him."

"He'll be seventeen soon," Sabrina shrugged, "Then they won't be able to do anything."

"So, what? You're just going to bluff until then?"

"Sam, his parents didn't just not get along with him. They were abusive."

"Don't try to convince me that you're right, Sabrina." he spat, "If the Dark Lord has asked it of you, you must do it. No questions asked. That's how this works. If you're not mature enough to understand that, then perhaps you don't belong with us." He stood, walking over to the kitchen, where he stood resting against the counter as though she were tiring him out.

"Maybe I don't want to belong with you." She said, following him, "Sam, I think Mum and Dad were right. I think we can do better than being Death Eaters."

Samuel let out a dry laugh, "I don't know if you remember, but those two were killed for thinking that way. Now, you might be pissing me off at the moment, but I don't want that same fate for you."

"Oh, so you're scared of being killed, are you?" she challenged, "That's why you're still working for him? So you don't end up like our parents?"

"I'm working for him because he has the right idea," he walked closer towards her threateningly, "I don't appreciate being associated with those people; they may have been your parents but the second they began to doubt the Dark Lord they were dead to me. Don't you get it? The second you start to doubt your decision to become a Death Eater, you might as well consider yourself dead."

Her eyes began to water with a wave of several emotions, "I don't believe you. You're not like this, or you didn't used to be. What happened?"

"Our mother and father showed us that this side of the war was the right one, and then pussied out when it got too much for them. That's what happened. I'm not at fault, here. If anything, I'm the only one out of all six of us who's shown any strength!"

"You haven't shown strength!" Sabrina snapped, "Neither of us have! We've been cowards, Sam! You're a coward!"

"You don't know what you're talking about. You're just a child!" Both of their voices were now raised.

"Yet I can see better than you can that we've been stupid to think we were these people! We don't have to be like them, Sam!"

"We are like them, Sabrina!"

"Then we're cowards! We're fucking cowards!"

"Stop saying that." His voice went quiet as he tried to conceal his anger.

"It's true! You're a fucking coward!"

"Stop saying that!" He roared.

Sam had had enough. Maybe he was offended because she was wrong, maybe because she was right: even he didn't know. Bringing his hand into the air was barely a decision, more an impulse, and he didn't even know whether it felt right as he brought it down harshly to his little sister's cheek, or as her head landed on the edge of the kitchen counter and her on the cold floor, or as drops of blood trickled down across her forehead, staining the white tiles.

He checked her pulse: she was very much alive. So, through his regretful tears, he returned to his seat in the next room, practically pretending to read the book which sat in his shaking hands.