During the cold winter, the letters stopped piling up in Lily's drawer by the end of the month.
At only twenty-eight years old Lily made the last decision for herself and that was living until she couldn't keep going anymore. Her leukemia was at stage IV and she kept refusing treatment, it was painful and rather than feeling better she felt like her health deteriorated even more by the second.
Lily never told Alex about it to keep him from worrying and also because she didn't want his pity or any better treatment only because she was sick. She wanted him to change on his own, while she silently cried in his arms at four in the morning after messy, painful or uncomfortable sex. Her nose would bleed and she would collapse occasionally in front of him. He thought it was a way of trying to get his attention but other times he would get worried, especially after having argued and yelled at her...sometimes even dared to hit her. Their relationship was broken beyond repair, they weren't the same. They hadn't been the same for a long time.
After Alex's friend visited him, he saw Lily's pills she had left behind when she left home. He was a doctor so he asked Alex whether he knew that his girlfriend was seeing a doctor and taking that amount of pills to which he replied he didn't, that it was probably cold medicine since Lily had been catching colds left and right.
Travis, Alex's friend, went home that day but his curiosity about the pills lingered so he talked to a colleague of his who works in the clinic and suddenly Lily's last name came up. Desperate, he drove to Alex and Lily's home to beat his friend up. Frankly, it wasn't the most rational thing to do but aside from being Alex's friend, he grew up with Lily and cared for her like a big brother would. His first thought was "Did Alex really love her?". The fact that Alex wasn't aware of his girlfriend's cancer and that she decided to no longer receive treatment for it to run away and live what was left of her life away from the one she should've leaned on for support said so much about the kind of shit Alex put her through. He knew half of it, even tended to Lily's wounds when Alex fucked up badly...he regrets not calling the police or getting Alex's family involved to stop him.
Finding out through a third party that his girlfriend had been silently battling cancer was a low blow for Alex. He couldn't believe it, he blamed himself for not being reliable enough and hurting her to the point of basically forcing her to leave the house. All this time he took Lily for granted and just when he was starting to get back on track and beg for her forgiveness when the time was right, she left. "Just how much did I make you suffer?" He thought. "Please pick up the phone."
Useless attempts to hear her voice over the phone lasted for six months. Later on, Alex found out that the doctor that treated her gave her permission to leave and he lost it. "How can a doctor be so irresponsible?!" He yelled in the halls of the clinic. Doctor Young grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and told him that, as a doctor, he must respect his patient's wishes. He then confessed, right in Alex's face, he loved Lily so much that he begged her to continue treatment, that if she didn't want to see Alex then he'd transfer to another clinic across the country and move there with her.
Forest Young fell so madly in love with his patient that he, unlike Alex, would've given up everything he had to be with her. Lily made him stay, though. She didn't want to drag anyone into her own pit of despair, she wanted to live and breathe without relying on anyone but she did love the doctor as well. She felt wrong for loving someone who wasn't Alex but never tried to correct it, she felt happy while being with Dr. Young and she selfishly let herself be happy one last time.
"I don't know if she has contacted you lately," The doctor said to Alex. "But she told me that if you ever come to find me, I should tell you that you must look inside her drawer, there's something she left there." And so Alex hurriedly left the clinic to find that thing Lily left behind for him.
It didn't take long for him to find the letters. "This must have been so special for her." Alex thought as tears ran down his face, he cried so much it became hard to breathe. He figured out she knew everything, every affair, every lie, every single thing she was aware of but never said anything. He was the worst boyfriend she could have, he became a nightmare and believed he was high and mighty while his girlfriend was dying. "I wrecked her. I made her feel miserable." He cried and tried to phone her at least fifty times but there was no use. Lily left him and he couldn't blame her. He would've left too.
Alex hoped it wasn't too late, he hoped and prayed for another four months until he received the call he never expected to get...
Lilian Marie Williams passed away at the age of twenty eight years old after battling with leukemia for a little over a year. She wondered how things would've turned out if Alex and her had been different, if communication wasn't a problem, if love wasn't being gambled, if cancer didn't make its way in her life. She loved him so much for so long, the spark was gone...she wanted him but then life took an unexpected turn and showed her something she didn't know had been missing for the last few years and it was the feeling of comfort, the feeling of being loved without it being a routine after so many years in a relationship. "Oh how I wish it was you in the end." She thought to herself as she made love with another man. Even though she was happier than she had ever been in the last couple years, Alex was in her mind. Lily left wondering what could have happened if some things were changed but luckily she allowed herself to have fun and be selfish for once. She left feeling loved.
During her last days, she was in the company of Doctor Forest Young who she loved and thanked until her last breath. She knew the time was coming and without any second thoughts she called Forest, the only one she wanted there to be with her. Her body slowly turned cold as he held her, crying and kissing her head one last time.
Forest made one last stop on his way home to give Alex Lily's phone. With teary eyes and shaky hands he turned it on to see all the pictures she took while she was in the countryside but suddenly, at midnight on the day of what would be Lily's twenty-ninth birthday, a reminder popped on the screen of her phone that brought Alex to tears.
"I love you darling. I'm yours forever, Lily♥."
FIN.
