ೃ⁀➷ᴘꜱʏᴄʜᴏᴘᴀᴛʜ ¬ ᴇɴɢ ᴠᴇʀ

- TWELVE -

A few more days passed, but I couldn't stop thinking about Chris, even when I was trying to keep busy. That part of me that still belongs to him makes me wonder every minute how he's doing, if he's eaten, if he's slept well. That line in his letter that said he wasn't taking care of himself, but was taking pills, made me think of terrible things and the fear was eating me up inside.

I didn't realize it when I was already in a taxi, a few blocks away from her house, the one that had been ours for months. A few minutes passed before I was outside the door, I rang the bell, nothing. I didn't hear any noise from inside, luckily, it occurred to me to bring the keys that had let me out that day, I opened the door without any detours and went in. The worry I felt was very strong, and it got bigger as I entered.

Curtains closed, the smell of confinement, messy couches, half-eaten empty food packets on the kitchen counter, everything dark. I kept moving forward, not knowing where Chris might be, so I decided to go upstairs and go straight to the bedroom. I opened the door slowly and there I saw him, what I had imagined several times and didn't want to be real. Tears came and flooded my cheeks.

He was there, lying on the bed, one hand dangling out of it, full of pills that had fallen on the floor. I couldn't think of anything other than attempted suicide. I reached out to him as soon as I could react and put two fingers on his neck, begging to feel his pulse. I felt relief. Thanks to the one upstairs who had kept him alive. I hugged him and rested my head on his chest, letting out all those tears that were choking me as I felt his heartbeat. I was still worried, because he was alive, but that didn't mean he was okay.

I got up a few minutes later and called my family's family doctor, gave him the address and he arrived in just under an hour. While I waited for him to arrive, I set about tidying up. First, I picked up all those pills and read what they were for, antidepressants. I continued tidying up the room in the dark and arranged it to cover him up nicely. I went downstairs to open the curtains and windows, letting the house breathe, and started picking up everything I'd thrown out and broken to throw away. It was as if he had had a fit of rage and had hit everything around him.

I finished picking up all the garbage that was in the bag and the doctor arrived, I opened it for him, took him to the room and told him that he was still asleep, but he said he could check him better that way. He finished checking him and we went downstairs to let him continue sleeping. It didn't take him long to tell me everything he had:

- What is your diagnosis, uncle? -Yes, our family doctor was my mother's brother, so we trusted each other and he also knew a bit about our history. - How bad is it?

- Apparently, he's one step away from being intoxicated. You said there was a bottle of antidepressants? -he asked, and I nodded to keep him talking. - Then, he must have taken them too much without medication, without eating or even with alcohol, which is extremely dangerous, he could have died easily. - And it was likely, because there were several beer cans and bottles lying around when I cleaned up. - Also, his breathing was not as it should be. He has fatigue, and since he didn't wake up while I was checking him, it means he has also taken sleeping pills.

- Sleeping pills? But there was no bottle of it.

- Did you check through drawers or under furniture? If he took too many at once, he probably knocked over the bottle and it would have been left lying around. -She took a breath as she looked around and returned to what was important. - But well, what you'll have to do is try to get him to wake up as soon as possible and give him some detoxifying herbal tea. Have her eat soups to get her back on her feet soon and no alcohol until her health is fully restored.

- I'll let your mother know so she can help you. -I think he noticed how my expression changed as he told me what I should do, so he changed his face from doctor to uncle. -

- Felix, you should know that this may have started as soon as he let you go. I don't want to say it's your fault, but he did get sick from missing you and not knowing what to do to make up for the damage he did to you. I can't say for sure, but it is very likely. I've seen similar cases before, and these symptoms together mean full-blown love depression. -He got up from the seat he was sitting in and came over to hug me when he noticed the tears running down my cheeks. -

Minutes later he left, and I stood there thinking in the sunshine coming in. I hadn't quite forgiven him yet, but I wanted him to get well and be well, even if it meant being there every day for a month or two. I would hold my feelings in for a while and devote myself to him. I wasn't going to deny it, the love from the beginning was still there, it had just been hidden under the pain.