ೃ⁀➷ᴘꜱʏᴄʜᴏᴘᴀᴛʜ ¬ ᴇɴɢ ᴠᴇʀ

- E I G H T E E N [CHRIS] - Special Christmas

I looked at the calendar in my office and noticed that Christmas was less than a week away, every child's favorite holiday and especially Felix's. I know I deprived him of celebrating with his family last Christmas and robbed him of the fact that I couldn't give anything to his beloved little brother. I know that the previous Christmas I deprived him of celebrating with his family and that I robbed him of not being able to give anything to his beloved little brother, so this time I wanted to do something really surprising and unique.

It's been over a month now since my suicidal incident. I only put up with him staying with me for three weeks, I didn't want him to go back to the horrible habit of keeping himself locked up for me. I knew it would be hard for me to tell him to leave, but I wanted him to enjoy his days without the need to worry about me, so I told him as soon as possible and he agreed, as he also wanted to go home.

Until last week I have only been working again, the building is almost built on the outside and inside the decoration is going to start. I asked Felix for some ideas and he gave me quite a few, so it is going to be all inspired by his tastes, from the shape of the main doors to the lights in each room.

December 17th

The calendar marked that I had only seven days left to think, buy and make all the arrangements and surprises for him. Seven days to buy all the gifts he deserves. Seven days to see his smile again, or at least I hope so. I started writing a list of everything I would need and went out to the other side of the city in search of the materials, starting by looking for a huge real pine tree to use as a Christmas tree.

The streets of Seoul were full of snow, which reminded me of the first three snowfalls we have seen together, although the last one he saw from the bedroom and I from the studio. This time we also got to see it together, we went for a walk in the park and were drinking hot chocolate on the street when a few small snowflakes landed on his scarf and a faint smile lit up his face. The first snowfall has a very engaging and beautiful meaning, but I never asked Felix if he knew and I never told him either, it just made me feel good to see him happy again, with that joyful face similar to a child receiving presents.

I arrived, picked out the lushest pine tree perfect for the size of our house and the owner helped me load it into the truck, then I headed to a hardware store, bought wood and screws, went to a local store to look for extravagant and bright ornaments along with lights, both for the tree and for the house on the outside. I had tools at home, so there was no need to buy more.

At home I unloaded everything, the tree I left for last, as it was the most difficult thing, luckily our neighbor and friend of Lix, ChangBin, who offered to help me and position it in a good place, was passing by. I heard about him the same day Felix discovered my project. That day I was closing the curtains in the living room when I spotted them in the distance walking together, but I hurried to close them and went upstairs to try to fall asleep quickly. Quietly, the next day he told me who he was, no need to ask him. I thanked him and he said goodbye.

I fetched the tools and built a wooden crate with a hole big enough to fit the pine. I painted it red with white accents and green dots, glued on star-shaped ornaments and snowflakes, totally Christmassy and to his liking. I put the tree up and started decorating it, bought a couple of kangaroos with Christmas hats that I found novelty and hung them on the front, one facing the other. I finished everything regarding the pine tree and went for the ladder and lights to hang in the front of the house, from the windows to the roof and door. I secured the ladder so it wouldn't fall and set about hanging everything properly. By the time I was done with that it was getting dark, so I turned on the lights and started to tidy up everything inside, from putting away the tools and wood scraps to throwing away the ornament wrappers and all that.

I sat down on the couch to start thinking about things to buy the next day when I felt my phone vibrate and it was a text from him asking how I was doing. I replied that I was fine and returned the question, but his response was to call me and let me hear his voice. We talked about trivial things and I tried not to mention anything about the surprise. A few minutes passed and the call ended. I rested for a moment and then went to sleep, after making sure I had shut everything down properly. I had already organized my next day's destinations and knew everything I needed to buy, both for Felix and for his parents and Seungmin, so it wouldn't take much to get everything ready before the 20th.

I had promised Lix on the call that I would have him over for dinner before Christmas, so I planned to take him to his favorite place on the 22nd, so it would be the beginning of everything, like starting all over again.