Jump float serve

I'm sorry

What the hell happened yesterday? A ball flew near Tsukishima's head, making him flinch. He blinked fast, coming back to reality. He turned around as ball hit the ground and bounced out of the field. Tsukishima watched it roll silently. His body was aching to go after it, but mind was definitely in the different place. Fuck.

"Snap out of it already!" Sugawara raised his voice at the blonde. He wasn't yelling at him yet, but Tsukishima wasn't in a mood to test setter's patience. He looked at the older boy and simply nodded in reply. Sugawara clicked his tongue, earning a pat on the back from Daichi. He was clearly annoyed with Tsukishima today. Why me?

Whistle. Stupid shrieking sound that Tsukishima hated the most now. He furrowed his eyebrows, eyes sliding to his phone on the bench. Did he answer? Is he busy? Blonde left a couple of messages for Yamaguchi this morning. They were delivered. Not read yet. He bit his cheek. Volleyball. Concentrate. Tsukishima looked at Nekoma's setter. Too late again. Ball fell in front of his feet. Damn it. He sighed. Good days never start like this.

"Tsukishima!" Ukai's voice rang through the gym, making blonde turn around. "Take a break," he added calmly and pointed to the bench with water bottles, "now."

Tsukishima nodded slowly. If it was yesterday, he would argue to stay and play. He needed practice. But not today. I'm tired. Tsukishima ran his fingers through slightly wet hair and made his way to the bench. He glanced at the exit doors. Well, might take a real break after all. Tsukishima grabbed his phone and walked outside. He heard Sugawara mumble something behind him. Blonde was sure it was about him, since Daichi hushed setter with a gentle 'leave him be'. Thanks. I guess. Tsukishima sighed. Fresh air didn't help as much as he thought. Light breeze stung his cheeks. He clicked his tongue and looked at his phone. No new notifications. For hours now. On any other day Tsukishima would be glad for this silence, but not today. It was unnerving. He sat down near the gym wall and opened his chat with Yamaguchi. It was oddly quiet. Tsukishima's messages were hanging unanswered. Come on...Please... Tsukishima threw his head back, hitting wall with a light thud. Shit. An unsettling feeling stung his chest even more now. Tsukishima was always the first person to know if something has happened. Yamaguchi would let him know. Now it was different. However the most unsettling part about it was that Sugawara and Daichi knew something Tsukishima didn't. Great! "Fucking great!" Tsukishima growled. His eyes fluttered shut, feeling heavy.

Sound of the volleyball seemed distant now, voices low. Tsukishima sighed. When was the last time he could sit down in peace? Probably months ago. He tried to relax and enjoy this rare moment, but tension in his body didn't seem to leave. Tsukishima felt like something was missing. No quiet chatter or warmth of other body by his side. No Yamaguchi. A weird feeling stung his chest. Feeling he was ashamed to name. He shook his head, chasing these thoughts away when sudden shuffling caught his attention. It sounded much like someone came up and sat by his side. "Tsukki?" soft voice asked, pure concern echoing in it. Tsukishima felt something in him stiffen. Yamaguchi?!

"Tsukki?" voice repeated, but now sounded a lot lower, "you okay?"

Tsukishima's head felt heavy, breathing unsteady. Did he doze off just now? He opened his eyes, looking around. The one speaking to him finally got into focus. "Don't call me that..." he met unwanted person with a low growl.

"Hello again, princess," Kuroo grinned.

"Get lost," Tsukishima closed his eyes again. There was no way he would ever want to keep this conversation going.

"Are you feeling okay?" he repeated, dismissing blonde's grumpiness. It seemed to be usual anyway.

"Fuck off."

"Why so rude?" Kuroo arched an eyebrow, "just asking."

Blonde clicked his tongue, "it's none of your business."

"Where's Yamaguchi?"

"How would I know," Tsukishima bit his lower lip.

And there it was. Karasuno's setter was visibly on edge since their first game. Tsukishima didn't concentrate at all. Something has happened. Kuroo's eyes gleamed with curiosity and concern, "didn't h-"

"What part of 'FUCK OFF' you didn't understand?" last bits of patience shattered. Tsukishima got up, shooting Kuroo a death glare. He heard a low 'someone's having a bad day' before turning around the corner. He didn't care to answer. Where's Yamaguchi? Question stuck in his head.

"It has nothing to do with me!" Tsukishima growled, fingers curling into fists. Nothing! He tried to convince himself and stay calm, but failed miserably. His pretending to be fine broke along with it. I fucked up...didn't I? He swallowed hard at the thought. He looked around hastily. No one was by his side. Usually Yamaguchi would catch up with him and help with advices or a simple talk. However he wasn't here now. Tsukishima had to clean up the mess in his own head by himself. Blonde tried to come up with someone he can trust as much, but there wasn't anyone besides Yamaguchi on that list. There wasn't anyone he could talk to. Tsukishima tried to steady his breathing, but memories flood his head. Yams wanted to celebrate our anniversary... He bit his lower lip.

So troublesome

And what about it?

Is that all?

Tsukishima's own words sent a shiver up his spine. He did not only forget about anniversary. He hurt Yamaguchi by his indifference. Another memory hit his head. Text from Yamaguchi's note:

'There's no way to describe how happy I am to have you in my life, to call you my boyfriend, to be able to celebrate this day with you! I love you Tsukki, love you more than anything else in my life...congratulations! ♡'

This was the last memory Tsukishima wanted to recall. He felt his eyes sting with upcoming tears. He felt guilty again. I forgot. It happens, okay? I'm sorry! Tsukishima felt a hot tear fall down his cheek. "I truly am sorry!" He gritted his teeth. Words stung his chest more than anything now. I'm so sorry... He wished this heavy feeling will disappear, but it stayed. "I'm a jerk! I know that! I'm sorry for that!" he clenched his shirt. Guilt hurt more than he thought it could. But another feeling, something he couldn't name, hurt him even more. "Fuck!" Tsukishima cried out, tears streaming down his cheeks, "Why does it hurt so much?!" Tsukishima looked at his phone. Screen seemed blurry and unreadable, but even so he could tell that it was blank. He wiped his tears clumsily and opened his chat with Yamaguchi. He texted 'I'm sorry' with trembling fingers. 'I truly am...' he added, switching off the phone. Tsukishima put it in his pocket, before letting his true emotions out. He wished Yamaguchi was here. But why he wanted it so much?