Jump float serve

He will come

Tears traced wet lines on Yamaguchi's cheeks as boy stood in complete silence. The suffocating feeling of his heart slowly shattering into million little pieces sent a wave of shiver over his body. Boy wished everything to be a bad dream. Another nightmare, that'll go away as soon as he'll wake up. But, sadly, it wasn't.

Yamaguchi slowly walked along the gym wall, sliding his cold fingers against its rough surface. Old paint scratched them and fell to the ground. Boy couldn't feel it though. Yamaguchi let himself walk into the darkness of the night, where he didn't hear nor feel anything around. World went silent. Empty. Yamaguchi wanted to get out of this place. He wanted to run away. Wanted to disappear.

Boy turned around the corner, when a sharp pain pierced his chest. Yamaguchi fell down to his knees, clenching tufts of grass in his hands and gasping for air. Tears streamed down his cheeks and fell to the ground with brief thuds. "It's not true. It's a bad dream. A really bad dream." Boy whispered with his whole body trembling. No matter how hard his self convincing was. No matter how strong his hope stayed. It all broke down. World crumbled to pieces around him.

Yamaguchi wasn't prepared to face the truth. All this time boy was living in a fairytale. A fairytale with a happy ending. A fairytale with no villains. Sometimes it hurt too, but it's nothing compared to how boy felt now. Yamaguchi's heart ache as if someone sat it on fire and was pouring more and more gasoline in it. Why? Tsukki... Why didn't you deny his words?  It was getting harder to breathe with every second. Yamaguchi clenched his shirt in attempts to stop the rising pain, but it was pointless. Why?! Boy hit the ground with a fist. Why? Why? Why? Why? One hit after another. And a long silent scream, escaping from deep down his broken soul.

Yamaguchi felt night wind turn streaming tears ice cold, shiver running down his body. Boy covered his face with trembling hands to stop them, but they kept flowing through his slender fingers. All long forgotten wounds from Tsukishima's words and actions opened. Each of them hurting much worse than they ever did.

"I put all my needs and wishes aside. I was always there for you. I did everything you wanted me to... All this for you to smile, for you to be happy," Yamaguchi's thoughts became a huge mess that he immediately got lost in, "am I lacking that much? Am I too clingy? Too annoying? Too quiet? Am I not enough...?" Boy hit gym wall with his back and threw his head back. A heavy sigh escaped Yamaguchi's lips, as boy forced himself to look at the night sky. Stars got hid by dark clouds, most probably promising a heavy rain soon. His eyes followed them, slowly flowing across the sky. "I was always told to shut up. Always had to apologize. Always followed you around... I looked up to you... I cherished every second spent with you," boy watched moon got covered with thick clouds, its light getting duller, "Tsukki, I loved you..."

Yamaguchi buried face in his knees. It was the first time he truly regretted giving so much of his time, love and attention to Tsukishima. He gave blonde every piece of his soul and heart. Boy gave him everything, just to be put on a leash. To be treated like some kind of a pet, that'll keep his owner from getting bored. I loved you...so much...and for what?

"Am I really...just a...dog to you?" quiet sobbing was interrupting Yamaguchi's words, making it harder to speak, "did I ever...even meant something to you?"  Another wave of emotions washed over him, stealing all the air from his lungs. Boy hated love. Hated how oblivious he was. Hated how much time he spent on being someone's dog. Hated himself. All insecurities hit his head, followed by another painful silent scream. Stop it! Please, stop it! Yamaguchi covered his ears to silence train of thoughts, that was too painful to endure.

And there it was. The moment when everything suddenly disappeared. All emotions and feelings. All pain and thoughts. Tiredness has spread all over Yamaguchi's trembling body. Boy's hands dropped to the sides, as he slowly looked up, deep into the dark forest in front of him. "It's funny, how you made me feel so worthless, while being my everything," a painful chuckle escaped his cold lips, "I'm not tall, smart, handsome, funny nor talented." Yamaguchi's voice was getting quieter and quieter with every word, "I'm just an ordinary boy, who wants to feel...loved," his sight froze on a beautiful daisy, briefly wavering on the wind. Loved...

Boy forced a weak smile, feeling his eyes sting again. Tears started escaping yet again, blurring Yamaguchi's vision. Dead silence hung up in the air and the only sound that briefly interrupted it was quiet sobbing. Sounds of the volleyball faded, which probably meant that boys finished training and went to their teams. However Yamaguchi didn't seem to notice it. The last thing he wanted now was going back to their room. Boy's couldn't face Tsukishima. Not now. Not today. Not tomorrow.

Emotions slowly started to fade away, leaving Yamaguchi completely exhausted. None of his breakdowns lasted long, since usually boy fell asleep or got calmed down by Terushima. Boy would give a lot just for him to be here right now. To feel his calming voice and warmth of his touch. Yamaguchi haven't noticed it before, but Terushima did so much more than Tsukishima. He was there, when boy needed him. He remembered all the little things about Yamaguchi. He gave attention boy needed. He understood him. He made him smile and feel appreciated. He made Yamaguchi feel loved.

"Loved..." Yamaguchi whispered, as his eyes sparkled lightly. Yuuji... Boy quickly took out his phone, that now showed 1%, and found Terushima's contact. 'Teru' he texted with his fingers shaking. Boy felt his heart racing. 'Come' and another message, filled with hope for Terushima to help him. 'Please' a couple of tears fell on the screen, before phone switched off completely. Yamaguchi sighed, tossing it away to the cold ground. He didn't need it anymore. Boy felt a warm wave wash over his body. Yamaguchi didn't need to wait for the reply. He already knew that Terushima will come. Boy's chest raised once again in a deep sigh. He will come. He smiled weakly, hitting the wall behind him with his back. He always did. Yamaguchi's eyes flattered shut as he dozed off.