Jump float serve

Dear diary

The door opened, letting in a dull light from the hallway. Quiet footsteps echoed in a small room. Yamaguchi slowly walked in. He let out a heavy sigh, before closing the door behind him. Boy hit the wall with his back and slid down to the cold floor. His school bag dropped beside him, phone falling out of it's side pocket. Yamaguchi clicked his tongue. He took a little notebook with a pen out of the bag and turned over a couple of pages. They were all scribbled with countless words and tiny drawings. Stickers and colorful tapes were seen here and there, decorating several pages. Boy stopped at a blank one and wrote a date in the corner. Yamaguchi's hand shivered, before continuing to write.

'How did I end up in this kind of relationship? Don't really know...

He was different back when we were only best friends. We used to spend a lot of time together, even though he sometimes was too cold or rude. No one knew how sweet and caring he could be. It was a secret only I knew about.

However ever since we joined a volleyball club and started dating things have changed. Was it caused by people starting to be interested in him? Or maybe there existed another reason which I couldn't see. Sometimes I think about all possible reasons, even though some of them are pretty painful to think of.

I never knew why he got interested in me in a romantic way. I'm neither handsome, nor smart, nor athletic. All I did was keeping him company all these years. I knew he felt lonely inside since there weren't many people willing to be friends with a cold and sarcastic person as he is. Maybe my attempts to reduce this loneliness or seeing him as a much better person than others do made him think about me that way.

However nothing of this is giving me a proper answer to my question. What have changed him? The fact that he achieved something that he wanted for so long?

Attention

Friends

Love

Like a predator who eventually caught his prey and has no point on holding on to it any longer? If that's the case then why he still keeps me by his side? It hurts, but I know that somewhere deep down inside lives that sweet loving boy who I knew before. I believe he can change. How did they say? Hope dies last? I think they were right. My hope and faith in him stays and won't disappear any time soon.

Please

Don't go

I love you

Tsukki'

Pen slid out of his slim fingers, hitting the floor with a brief thud. Several tears fell onto just written words. Yamaguchi noticed letters getting blurry and shivered. He tossed the notebook aside, burying face in his knees. Why is this happening...?