My Soulmates are IDOLS Books 2+3 | 18+ [SoulBond Series]

233: switched

"That's because you hit me!" JieMi burst back, eyes flashing as his fingers tightened against the stirring wheel. His heart was pounding and it burned in his temple, a steady beat that rumbled across his entire body. "You hit me! You get so angry that I need to run I have to run or else you'll hold that knife to your belly again. You try to kill yourself! And I don't know why you have to do it—"

"Oh, so you leave because what?" She barked out a sharp laugh. "You don't want to be around your fucking mad as fuck girlfriend?"

"I leave because I know if I don't, you'll start to use your life as a leverage and so I leave. So I run, so that I won't get hurt." JieMi's words grew hard with his anger, his voice stiff from the truth. Ha-Eun went quiet at his words, stammering out her next line of excuses.

"You know I'm human. I do that because I'm so emotionally charged because I can't—"

"So you use your fists on me."

"I'm not going to validate... my actions." She sighed and then her voice grew purposely soft, purposely gentle. She was acting as if he were the crazy one, as if he were the one who was at fault. "I did it because I was emotional and I'm sorry." Ha-Eun exhaled. "No matter how kind or how nice a person is, if you reel them up enough, they'll get angry okay?"

"But you—"

"JieMi, I'm not going to fucking fight about how I aborted my children, okay? IT WAS MY FUCKING BODY AND MY FUCKING CHOICE NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!"

"I'm not bringing up that I'm saying..."

"YOU ARE! YOU ALWAYS, ALWAYS BRING UP THE CHILDREN! I'M OVER IT OKAY? I'm over it! I'm so sick and tired about fighting over old fucking fights. I'm so sick and tired of going through my every fucking mistake. I am human, I make mistakes. I can make mistakes. And you're always targeting me, you're always bringing out my flaws."

"I'm saying that you shouldn't use a knife to—"

"THAT WAS THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU LISTENED TO ME!"

JieMi turned to her then, tears bright in his eyes. "I told you I wanted a break, I just wanted time off. Just moments to think. I just wanted to leave for a while, you know I care about you I wouldn't have—"

"Oh YEAH?" Ha-Eun laughed, shaking her head. "You want to split? That's the problem, you're running again. You're not going to work things out, you're not going to talk things through like two sensible adults. You're going to leave and then it's up to me, again, to keep things together."

JieMi's throat grew tight with tears at her words.

"I leave because you hit me." JieMi repeated softly, gently, strangely calm. "I leave because—

"And I said I'm human okay?" She snapped, growing agitated. "I'm not saying you stay and we get fucking physical together. I'm saying you stay and talk to me. You stay when shit goes downhill and we talk it out!"

"But—"

"Running is easy. It's so damn easy for you to leave every single fucking time. You can't just run! You're not making this easier, you're not being kind to me. You're making it harder for me to work things out!"

She heaved.

"And then I have to act like the bigger person every single fucking time! I have to come to you and knock! I have to fucking say sorry to you every single time, while you fucking cry! You're lazy as fuck you're a fucking coward JieMi! A coward! And you cry so much good fucking God, I feel like the man in this house."

JieMi's eyes watered at her words, and he stopped the car, turning to look at her. How had he not seen this sooner he didn't know. How had he allowed himself to remain within her grasp he didn't know.