My Soulmates are IDOLS Books 2+3 | 18+ [SoulBond Series]

263:lies

Casper

His shoulders sagged with relief when laughter spilt across the household. MinJae's mood was visibly lifted with blossoming lilacs that teemed over his hair and saturated the air with its wet sticky scent. Ezra's skin was glowing despite the pinch of annoyance between his brow, and nestled between the two on the couch was their soulmate, radiating sweet creamy pink.

They'd had sex, good sex of course.

Good enough for Ezra to lose the bite of tightness in his jaw, and for the perpetual wrinkle at the edge of MinJae's lips to disappear. Good sex always did seem to pump them full with drugs so potent that the emotional uplift became long term. Something, Casper hadn't had the opportunity to experience despite the year they'd spent together as a family.

Fuck.

And his gut coiled, muscles tightening in his jaw. Casper wasn't like the rest with their puny little demands for vanilla sex and simple sweet love. The slight hints of something risqué, the little escapades, the tiny dips into those other genres were all still too vanilla for his darker, stranger demands.

The sort of demand that would push him into piercing his cock till it was riddled with metal despite how much it had hurt. The sort of demand borne from the noose that his family tied around his neck. Or maybe it was all just him and his dark twisted soul.

Casper wanted something...dirtier, filthier.

Something that made him feel alive. Something that was madness, reckless impulse that would destroy some and lose others. Something that was filled to the brim with control and the need to dominate. Something that could be...Unnatural.

And that was the only reason why he'd continue to push Amber away. There was darkness in him, a darkness he didn't know if she would like. A simmering vat of pitch-black oil that sank deep within his soul and refused to surface even when she'd tap on it with her pretty little fingers. It was the same for Oliver. He'd tasted her, sure, sunk his cock into her beautifully wet cunt and let himself be wrecked by the pleasure.

But it wasn't enough.

Casper caught him jerking off silently in the corner after it all, eyes glazed as he pictured and imagined things they didn't know whether she would like. But they both knew she would agree to it in a heartbeat. She would do anything for them, even bend against her wants and needs. And that was exactly what Casper could not have.

For them to fuck up their relationship, for what occurred in bed to transfer to what occurred when they were together, for things to change between them. The awkward glances, the judgemental stares and later the flinches and curl of lips. Disgust, contempt, scorn.

Or she could genuinely enjoy it—

And that was when the thoughts slammed into his head creating a fantasy that had adrenaline pumping and his cock swelling, tight and thick against the zipper of his pants. The metal bars brushing against rough denim as his balls ached and tightened. Barbells that hurt but pleasured his sick, twisted soul.

And maybe that was why he allowed himself to be tortured, steadily and surely.

Maybe that was why he kept it all a secret, tried so hard to convince himself that he was like the others. Just a normal man with normal wants. Just a normal man with normal needs. All that metal in his dick was just for the fucking aesthetics.

And it'd worked for a while when he hadn't met Amber, when her existence was more crucial than his own sexual preferences. When his wet dreams were all just about his cock sinking into her folds, and her body splayed over his chest along with that sweet apple cinnamon scent.