My Soulmates are IDOLS Books 2+3 | 18+ [SoulBond Series]

143: Damn it

His nose burned then, a pinch of something that sends a rush of wetness that pricks at his eyes. The sour tang of sadness a lump in his throat that spreads into a pain at the bottom of his chin. He'd toss all his chances aside with his own actions, thrown away every single card in his belt that he could have used and now he sat in a pool of his own shit.

Like the story in the Korean folktale, he was the evil woodcutter who stole the fairy's clothes. The woodcutter who took her ability to fly and return to her home, and now she was to be his wife whether she liked it or not. No one liked the woodcutter. MinJae had hated him as a child, declared to his mother that he would never do that to a girl.

He might have jinxed himself with those words. He let out a soft sigh, pressing a hand to his lips. MinJae didn't know how she would react to this arrangement. He had been nothing but unkind to her, his words to her had been harsh and unforgiving. He winced at the thought, a rush of guilt spreading through his system.

He hated himself for that and thus he was sure that she would hate him too. He didn't want to admit it, but deep within his mind the voices that whispered in his head called him a murderer. His heart twisted at the thought, pain thrumming with each beat as he dug his fingernails into his skin.

His nightmares all revolved around the scene of her leaving him, her dying in his arms, him at her grave and his best friends screaming at him. The voices that sounded way too much like the members of IDOL called him a killer, for he was the reason their soulmate had almost died.

Those words didn't hurt as much as the idea of her leaving him for them. The idea of him alone as he watched his best friends kiss her from afar, hurt. It tore at him, it burned him...It...It killed him. The thought of that kind of life made him think of death. In that dream, he had hung himself, jumped from a building with tears in his eyes, unable to comprehend what he had lost.

That dream had fucking sucked.

So with her laid out for him like this, the premonition of his future a bitter taste on his tongue, of course he took the chance to wrap his arms around her. Of course he held her close, pressed his nose to her hair while he still could. He took the chance to hug her in her shock, inhale her sweet apple scent and just pretended, pretended that everything was alright, pretended that she would never leave him.

It helped that her pretty breasts were soft and squishy against his chest and he had let a sly, mischievous, maybe perverted, grin flicker over his lips at that fact, enjoying the way her body trembled whenever his skin brushed against her nipples.

At least, her hand was still in his. He decided to ignore the fact that they were only holding hands because if she lets go, she might die. MinJae smiled, idly playing with her fingers. He had longed to do this since he was younger, to hold his soulmate's hand and stare at her beauty. He had seen his parents do this at home, his father holding his mother's hands as she reads the morning paper. His eyes warm with his adoration for her. MinJae had wanted that as well, wanted to have that look in his eyes when he stared at the love of his life. He glanced at his soulmate, trying to understand the emotions in her eyes.

She was still angry at him. MinJae knows that. She was still wary of him, still a little afraid. He could see it in the panic in her face that flickers to the surface sometimes when he looks at her. It sends a sinking feeling in his gut and a pounding in his ears that tells him to beg for her forgiveness.

He wants to. He wants to be forgiven, he wants to tell her the millions of reasons why she should stay with him. He'd wait for a better time when she wasn't as preoccupied and when they didn't have company. His eyes shifted to the doctor and back to his corner of the room again.

Still, he'd expected a little more...Moodiness. MinJae smiled at the thought, pressing a knuckle to his lips as he hid his grin. Maybe the cold shoulders, angry rants, maybe yelling, maybe just angry tears. He'd expected animosity from her. Instead, she's been acting... Awfully cute.

He bit back a smile at the memory of her blushing face when he had coaxed her to pee. Teasing her was exhilarating, it made his heart pound and his body feel light with bubbles of happiness. He liked it when she blushed and turned the prettiest of colours, he liked it when she gave him that look in her eye that sparkle of something more than just embarrassment. He wanted to make her look at him like that again.

He chewed on his lips as a grin spread across his face. He had been naughty when she requested for him to go down on his knees and grip her ankles. He knew, of course, he did, he knew she just wanted to dress and she needed both of her hands to do so. But he just couldn't help teasing her even in that situation.

He'd purposely, purposely given her a shocked expression, letting the surprise colour his features. He had given her the classic look of bewilderment. Then, like the mischievous snake he was, he had raised a single brow, licked his lips slowly, sensually. With that same well-practised look of seduction in his eyes, he had sunk down onto his knees, letting his fingers travel over the sides of her hips, ghosting over her skin before he clamped his hands on her ankles one at a time to ensure contact.

It had been amusing, and awfully endearing, to see her face change from the neutral angry glower to a horrified embarrassed red. She had blossomed into the prettiest of crimson, a colour that had stained her skin right down to her shoulders. Then as she clipped on her bra, with much difficulty, probably from her embarrassment. He had asked if she needed help with her bra, biting his tongue lightly as he smiled towards the tiles of the bathroom floor.

She had slapped his head, a gentle thud of her palm on his scalp and he couldn't help the giggle from escaping his lips. His lips spreading so wide across his cheeks that his face hurts. He was happy, happy that she was awake, happy that she was talking to him, happy that she didn't seem to hate him as much as he thought she would. In fact, she seemed like she might just forgive him after all. He saw hope in their interaction, and with that his heart steadily fell in love.

"A nurse will send up your food. Mr. Ryu, do you need anything? We have an option for soulmate pairs." MinJae was jostled out of his thoughts by Dr. Eugeum's voice and he glanced up quickly. They were staring curiously at him, the older male had a look of amusement on his face. His soulmate nudged him, squeezing his hand. MinJae blinked, fumbling to recall his question, his cheeks heating from being caught off guard.

Damn it!