Heart Out - The 1975
People crooned over my wound, but more over my hair. I guess they didn't notice, but I can't blame them. The wounds had already started clotting.
Toni was the first person to notice. She noticed during tutor. She must have thought I was dying or something. She had never been burnt, but we see different people.
I'd been seeing a lot less o Toni ever since she changed her subjects from history to geography. We wanted different things in life, I guess. She wanted to be an doctor or something, and took all the "hard" subjects; Physical Sciences, Geography, Life Sciences and Pure Mathematics of course.
Because I didn't take Physical Sciences I felt that she looked down on me. We're in the same maths class and even though I sit right behind her, she forgot that it was there. She assumed that I took Mathematical Literacy, the "easy" math. People who took maths lit didn't have to do hectic calculations; they mainly worked with word sums. If you weren't very good with language then I wouldn't recommend that you take lit.
In some ways it was easier, but you could do so much more if you did pure math, you even got preference for most courses when getting into university.
There was an unwritten code amongst most people who did pure math; most of them looked down on the people you took lit. Hell, people who took physics looked down on people who didn't take physics. The person who took physics could be getting an average of 50%, but they'd look down on people who were taking Business Studies and getting an average of 90%, because business is a study subject and physics is an understanding subject. They don't understand what's going on, and they're taking an "understanding" subject. Where is the logic?
Toni never said she looked down at me, but I knew that she did. It was in the way she looked at me and the things she said to me, but I didn't care. She only gave me these looks during maths, because maths reminded her of physics.
My sister Juniper had been top in physics when she was in high school, so everyone assumed that I would take physics, but I wasn't going to give myself grey hairs because of my sister. I didn't enjoy natural sciences and I sure as hell wouldn't have enjoyed taking any of the sciences.
Toni was having trouble with her boyfriend, if that's what you called their relationship. They didn't have much of a relationship. I had advised her many times to leave him, but she was convinced that he was her soul mate. When she had first said this, I almost slapped her. It was an infatuation and she knew it.
"How's it going with Siba?" the swine that she was dating was called Siba.
"I'd rather not speak about it."
"Did you finally break up with him?" I asked, somewhat filled with hope.
"Jazz, Siba and I are just going through a rough patch."
"More like a desert," I muttered, "and a never ending one at that."
"Not everyone has such a smooth relationship like you and Terence do. People love differently." She was becoming irritated.
"What you guys have is not love. What you have is love, what he has is lust and lust rarely turns into love." I said clipped.
"Just because it's rare doesn't mean it won't happen." She said quietly. She knew I was right but she was being stubborn, for no reason.
The bell rang. For some reason I thought of a jail. Our school was synonymous with the word jail.
We exchanged an awkward look. She had physics and I had accounting. We couldn't even walk together for a part of the way because our classes were on different sides of the school.
"Can we speak later?"
"I'm meeting Siba after school."
"Again? He's only grade ahead of us and he attends this school. You don't have to see him this often. You're not his shadow."
"Look, I can't be late again, Ms Pienaar will chew my head off."
Ms Pienaar was the calmest teacher in the whole school. She just wanted to get away from me, so without a word I let her get away.
I walked alone to accounting. Shannon found me and she walked with me. We took all the same classes. I was distracted the whole time. All I could think about was the anniversary. What would I get him? What was he getting me? My head was clouded by these thoughts the whole day.
Sorry for the short update. Please vote and comment
