Meet Me At The Corner - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Today Toni had tears in her eyes, but only during tutor. I asked her many times throughout the day what was wrong, but she always asked me to drop it. I knew it had something to do with Siba, but I had no proof, I only had a gut feeling. Finally, by period five, she told me what was wrong. It was the last class we had together. It was English.
"So, do anything special last night?" I was trying to ease myself into it. I learned from my previous errors. I wasn't going to just ask her, I had to gain her trust first. I already had it, but it had to 'regain' it every time I asked her for something. I constantly felt like I had to gain her trust. She already had mine, it was a little tedious.
"Nothing much, Siba came over." She all but whispered. Bingo.
"Did you two do anything special?"
"Oh it was quite special." She didn't sound too happy, almost remorseful.
At this point I wanted to make an insensitive joke, but now wasn't the time. You need to consider other people's feelings; you can't just go cracking jokes about someone's mother's death at her funeral while delivering one's eulogy. You should wait a couple of months, maybe years, maybe never.
"Oh, what did you guys do?"
"I'd rather not tell you." But you're going to anyways.
"Why not? It's not like you guys had sex." I said a little too loudly, but not sarcastically enough. The people right in from of us turned around; Carmen and Janet. I didn't like them too much, they just irritated me, I don't know why. "Because you two are always having sex." I said a little softer.
"Not so loudly!"
"Are you going to tell me though?"
"After school, maybe. Meet me by the tuckshop."
The next period was probably the longest period of my life. I was genuinely worried about Toni. She had a habit of doing things without thinking. Although you're not supposed to over think everything there is nothing wrong with simply thinking about something.
Like if you're about to do something stupid, don't "YOLO" it, avoid it. This is how you will die, because you keep doing stupid things. At your funeral the will say "She died because she believed in the concept of YOLO". On your tombstone they will write "YOLO". Is that really how you want to leave this earth? Is that the impact you want to make?
I want to live a long and fulfilling life and yes I am going to take risks, but I won't take all the hectic life threatening risks. "If it gets your heart racing" they say, but bear in mind if your heart starts racing in a speed that challenges Hussein Bolt's then you're going to die. If the shock doesn't kill you a heart attack will. Maybe the two are link, but I wouldn't know, I'm not a cardiologist. I don't even take Life Sciences
Finally, the bell rang, painfully slowly, it was almost as though everything was trying to keep me from meeting her, but I could tell that I had to be there.
She sat alone, on her phone. Probably texting him, I really need to wean her off of him, but she was not my baby and he was not my boobie.
"Hey."
"Hey."
Our greeting was followed by an awkward silence. Awkward silences were normal for me, I really just felt bad for Toni. She hates silence and awkwardness. I don't know what she's doing with me, because I am both of these things.
"So."
"So."
"Are you going to keep repeating everything I say, or are we going to have a full on conversation?" I was half joking half being serious. Her repetition was getting on my nerves, but I would have endured it for a million years if it meant that I would find out what that slime ball had done. The worst part is that I probably wouldn't even do anything. I'm a pacifist, I'm totally against all forms of violence.
Before Siba and Toni even got together I warned him to never hurt her, or I would hurt him. I didn't mean it physically; well I wouldn't be doing any of the physical damage if any physical damage would occur. He didn't take me seriously, but if she told me he'd hit her, even with a flower, I'd have to open a can of whoop ass on him.
"We did it without a condom."
I gaped at her.
"I didn't want to do it ok; he was in and out before I knew he'd even unzipped his pant. He took me by surprise, but I kind of enjoyed. Does that still make it rape?"
"Did he have consent?"
"Not at first, but toward the end of the five seconds he did."
I dropped my face into my hands. Sometimes I don't know about Toni, she confuses. One minute she's yelling 'rape' and the next she's yelling 'orgasm'. Truth be told I really didn't know if it was rape, it sure started out that way, but if a rapist comes to rape you and you enjoy it can you still cry rape. Some may find this question easy to answer, but honestly I was baffled.
"Did he come in you? Because I think that's the most important part."
"I don't remember, but I don't think he did. I know what you're thinking you old prude, he doesn't have any STDs."
"You can't take his word for it."
"I didn't. We both went to get tested. He actually took me. It was as though he was afraid to catch something from me. We were both clean though. I saw the actual paper. If he wasn't going to take my word for it I wouldn't take his," she said triumphantly. I'm just happy that she was safe. "The only thing I have to worry about is pregnancy and I'm sure I'm not pregnant."
"How long ago were you guys tested?"
"A month, but believe me, Siba's as prudish as you are. I practically had to coax him into sleeping with me over a period of like six months. Even when he does cheat on me he doesn't touch other girls." After she said it she looked sadden. "Not too much anyways." She wasn't a fool and she wasn't blind. It was very obvious that he cheated on her and often; Ray Charles would have been able to see it. It hurt me to see her like this.
I reached over and held her shoulder supportively.
"You deserve better than this."
"I know, but where I am I going to find it?"
"Well you aren't going to fine it while you're tied to him."
"I want to break up with him I really do." She had changed the subject. She was master of casually changing the subject. "I just need to find the right time and place."
"How about right now?" I said pushing her phone to her.
"Break up through text message? After all that we've been through? Now that's just wrong."
I sighed defeated. I couldn't live her life for her; she had to do that herself.
"Wanna go home?" she said.
"Yes please." And we started our journey home, it wasn't a long journey, but after we split up to go our separate ways it would be a very long and lonely journey.
Enough with the short editors' notes. I can't deal. This chapter kind of reminds me of Diana Ross' Upside Down. Don't ask me how i know the song, I just do.
BTW sorry for the short chapters, but soon I'll be hitting you guys with chapters so long that you'll be like "These chapters are long, but i like them". Sorry i couldn't think of anyting else to say.
And remember, guys if you are in a relationship where yoyu are constantly being cheated on (unless you both agreed to be in a open relationship) you had better get tf out because you, like Toni, deserve better. Find someone who's crazy about you and only you.
Please comment and vote if you enjoyed it.
