Magpies On Fire - Red Hot Chili Peppers
I laid side by side with Emily. We were both tired. We'd gone at it for about three rounds maybe, I'd lost count. She still had the same raging libido she had when she was eleven and it didn't seem be slowing down. I had still been frustrated, but that was my excuse. I was still trying to recover from it all when she started to reach for my dick again. I swotted her hands away, but that didn't stop her.
"Don't," I uttered, pained more emotionally than physically. I was still in doubt about whether or not I was dreaming. Had that actually happened?
I could not believe that I had just done that, talk less about doing it again. Emily looked at me again, confused. Did she not find this wrong?
"Are you still recovering? Because, I've made a full recovery." She stated nonchalantly.
She was trying to be sexy, and she was probably succeeding but I wasn't in the mood. I felt like the scum of the earth. Ever since that person ran out from under the bed I'd been a little on edge. Now I knew for sure that we weren't the only ones who knew about the encounter.
The worst part was that I didn't even know who it was, but they probably knew who we were. I had a feeling that once I left the room everyone would know what I'd done and word would get back to Jasmine.
If she were to find out about this we'd be finished. I wanted to be the one to tell her, but then again I didn't really want her to find out. I planned to keep this from her, not forever, but until the time was right. Maybe after she's attached to me, fully or maybe when she truly loved me.
Cheating was a deal breaker for her and if she ever found out she'd break up with me for sure and that was not what I wanted. I wanted her, but she wouldn't want me after this.
There was the problem.
Emily started again to get another round going, but I shut her down again once more.
"What's your problem, Terence, five minutes ago you were practically tearing my shirt off?"
"I guess I'm just not feeling it, Emily." I said dismissively.
"Then what are you feeling?" she was getting sassy, but I didn't mind, I was too tired to be irritated.
"I'm thinking about Jasmine, okay."
"Again? We just made love and you're thinking about her?"
What did she just say? Clearly she was delusional if she thought that we had just made love. What even made her think that? She knew it herself that we were just having sex.
"Oh please! We did not make love. I have a girlfriend and if I would have made love with anyone it would have been her."
"Well I don't know about you, but I made love."
"I did not make love. And you, you don't even know what love is?"
"I may not, but I know when I've made it."
"Well I'm sorry, but I just didn't feel it."
In that moment, I actually did mean it. I didn't necessarily want to make love to her, but I didn't want her to feel like that. I tend to be horrible to her, but I actually do care about her. I guessed that I'm still mad that she just decided to run out of my life all those years ago.
But how do you even do that to someone you claim you care about? Abandon them? If you need them so badly then the odds are that they need you just as badly and removing them from your life wouldn't help solve anything.
