Hold my Hand

Chapter 1

P.O.V

Sam  (Present day)

My glove covered hands shook the closer my 1997 Geometro got to my destination, Mediapolis High school. This would be my first attempt at attending a public school since elementary before my parents died in a car crash. My Aunt April took me in when I was Eight after their deaths. She home schooled me on account of my Haphephobia, which basically means I freak out if somebody touches me.

Over the last few months I have made process with overcoming my fear, I could now touch my Aunt on the shoulder without going into a catatonic state, but I had to be the one to initiate the touch. If she tried to touch me my body just shut down. I still went to my therapy sessions every two weeks with Doctor May, she was a older lady who had been my therapist for about 6 months now. Dr. May is part of the reason I sat shaking in the school parking lot trying to calm my nerves. She suggested I intend my last few years at a public high school to work on my social skills.

Dr. May thought going to school would be a major part in my exposure threapy. We first started off by doing Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which is a form of treatment that basically teaches me to understand that my thoughts about touch our irrational.

When somebody goes to touch me my brain tells me if they succeed something bad is going to happen. When that method wasn't really helping she suggested exposure threapy.

So in my last session she began to gradually expose me to touch. First by touching my shoulder, which made me immediately feel nauseous and panicky, but I told myself it's okay and I did pretty well. Then she went for my hands without a warning. That didn't go over too well, my body went into panic mode then it shut down.

Since then we've been moving at a slower pace. She suggested that socializing with people my age in a place where touch is common, and where my anxiety will be high so that way I'll be able to learn to overcome it.

So here I sat in my tiny car watching the group of students walk into the school. They were all dressed about the same, the guys wore jeans and short sleeve t shirts and the girls wore shorts and nice blouses, perfect attire for a August day in Eastern Iowa. Yep. I was going to stick out like a sore thumb dressed in my black skinny jeans, a pink long sleeve thremal, my gloves, and not to mention my mop of bright red hair.

"Damn", I muttered to myself before taking a deep breath then stepping out of the safety of my car and heading for the school.

Stepping into the concourse I could hear the chatter of friends reuniting after being away for the summer. The students were all gathered around at the tables waiting for the bell to ring so they could head to class, looking around I located the office. As I made my way across the room I could feel eyes on me. My Aunt warned me that since Mediapolis was such a small school they didn't get many new students. My arrival would make people curious. I tried to swallow my nerves as I stepped into the office.

You can do this Sam, you got this chica. Giving myself a prep talk to stop my shaking hands I walked up to the secretary's desk. I made eye contact with the older woman before immediately looking down at my hands.

"Hello there dear I am Mrs. Gannon. You must be Samantha Carson. I know your Aunt April, she went to school with my kids." The secretary said with a pleasant smile, making me feel instantly welcomed.

"Yes I am." I said my voice coming out quiet. I was very nervous still, being home schooled I wasn't use to communicating with anybody but my Aunt and Dr. May. Plus I was afraid she'd want to shake my hand.

She must have noticed my nerves because she said, " Not to worry dear all the teachers are aware of your situation and you won't have to worry about participating in events that involve touch. Now here's your schedule and planner, if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask Samantha. "

I made my way out of the office not sure how I felt about all the teachers knowing about my phobia. I suppose it had to be known, and it was just the teachers not the whole school. I was just anxious.

Looking down at the paper the secretary gave me I found my locker number then made my way down the empty halls to find it. I arrived at number 45 which was a bottom locker... great. I figured juniors must get bottom lockers and the seniors get the top ones. Kneeling down I proceeded to put my bag in the damn thing when I heard a gruff voice singing.

I looked down the hall to locate the noise and what I saw made my breath catch. He looked to be about 6 ft 3 in., had short dark hair, and was wearing a black fitted t-shirt that showed off his bulging arm muscles and he had on black jeans. As he got closer I could make out that he had headphones in and small gages in his ears, snake bites in his lips, and the most stunning dark eyes I had ever seen. He seemed to be in his own world not caring about the one around him as he sang the lyrics to Push by Matchbox 20.

I couldn't help but stare as he got closer, it was like I couldn't bring myself to look away. I had never been so mesmerized by someone till that moment. I was studying his arms and hands, which were covered in tattoos.

I loved tattoos, My aunt took me to get my first one of a dream catcher and birds on my back earlier this year in Missouri when I turned 17. I even had started working at my Aunts antique shop to save up money for another one. I was hesitant at first, but strangers touch didn't seem to send me over the edge so much as people I was close with did. It still bothered me but it was tolerable.

I was still thinking about his tattoos when I realized that he had stopped right in front of me. I looked up.. and up in till I met a pair of dark brown eyes which were staring down at me. "Your in my way short stuff", he said his voice deep making me shiver.

I felt heat rising to my face and I quickly shut my locker and got to my feet as I muttered "Sorry".

"No problem babe. You were busy admiring the view, and sweetheart you can stare at me as long as your little heart desires ." He said winking at me before he made his way to the locker right above mine, which meant he was most likely a senior.

Yep I just died of embarrassment. He caught me staring... great. My face I was sure now looked like tomato, my red hair probably wasn't helping my case. Looking down at the floor tile I said in my quiet tone, "I was just looking at your tattoos." Then before he could reply the bell rang. Thanking god for the excuse I turned away and made my way to my first class, Creative writing.