Till Forever Falls Apart

Checkmate... (Part One)

August 1, 1993 - 12:23 A.M.

From the perspective of Remus

"Do you have your own board at home, Lupin?"

    Dumbledore bent underneath his desk, revealing a wizard chess set when he reappeared.

    "No," was his only reply. Sirius had never taken a big interest in it, and if Val had, she never mentioned it. "I suppose I didn't play much after school."

    If Val were to mention it, he would buy it and return with the game an hour later.

    "But Pettigrew did."

    The name still evoked a rotting sense of spite Remus never knew he possessed until that day in court so many years ago. He had hoped to forget all else surrounding it.

    "Forgive me, Remus, for bringing such things to light," Dumbledore tried to meet his eyes. "I suppose it serves as a reminder for many things, including the gravity of situations in their time."

    He hadn't said more than two sentences since arriving, hearing the news that left him spinning and stricken.

    At fault.

    He had managed a grasp on his lycanthropy after all his battles, fighting to deny the wolf during every transformation. He begrudgingly and barely scraped by to accept that it was him, or at the very least, part of him.

    He kept it hidden away, locked in the vault of his thoughts. Away from his daughter who had somehow wedged her way into the innermost circles of his mind, figuring out who he was at only four years old.

    "Wolves are cute," the child had once tapped his nose. "They're cuddly. And you're good at giving hugs."

From that day forward, he had learned slowly to separate himself from the wolf. He was Remus Lupin, a survivor of what some would say was the impossible. He became strong, learned love like never before.

    And the same monster who had stolen his childhood was coming to destroy Val's. He would never let that happen, so long as he lived and breathed.

    Remus blamed himself for not running to her side as Sirius had. For not whispering the encouragement his husband had said minutes ago. He blamed himself for being frozen, trapped, powering down when she needed him most.

    He blamed himself, though he shouldn't have. Sirius, Lily, James... they would all say he couldn't do anything about it.

    He blamed himself for not fighting off the cursed wounds that changed his DNA. You were defenseless, he consoled his guilt. You were just a boy.

    Val stood no chance if Greyback were to get to her, just as he had done with Remus.

    "Did you hear me, Mister Lupin?"

    Remus flinched. "Hm?"

    "I asked if you wanted the black or white pawns."

    "White," he answered. He had always played with the white ones in school.

    "I was hoping you'd say that," Dumbledore set the pieces in place. "I've found myself more fond of the black ones."

    "Mm."

    Dumbledore arranged the pawns, careful not to knock any over. He was calm, collected, together. Everything Remus couldn't bear to be at that moment. "How is your business, Lupin? I hear it's going well."

    After the war, Remus didn't know what to do with himself. His lycanthropy made it hard for him to keep a job, finding any sort of excuse to take off on the days of full moons. He would arrive at work the next day, barely getting by with the sores and pains clawing at his frame. Sirius was the one to stay home with Val while he worked, leaving one occupation after the other until Black had given him an idea that launched his life in a better direction.