Bughead || recovering

12

It was the day after her funeral and I was in my room , I walked downstairs and my mom was sitting on the porch , in the exact clothes from last night , with runned down makeup "hi" she didn't say anything "do you think I'm a good mother" she said after a bit "why do you ask" "my daughter just killed herself , and my other ones tried , and the other one is hardly home" "I don't think that's your problem" "I tried so hard to get you all to be better , I paid thousands of dollars I listened to the specialist and I talked to the doctors I studied the drugs and still my child is dead" "her not being here is deeper that you think , it's darker than any of us can even imagine because she never told anyone anything , you Couldn't even process the thought that she was unhappy let alone this" she hugged me and she cried , "you can't leave me here , you can't leave me" "what" "I'll give you whatever you want just please don't leave me" I started crying with her "I'm sorry , I'll get better I'll go to treatment or whatever you want and I'm sorry" she hugged me really tightly for a while after that
I guess she thought their parenting was what caused us to be the way we where because by the next morning they were both gone , "well be gone for a few weeks ,just to get our minds off things , everything's taken care of and your gifts are under the tree for Christmas , text us if anything " that was written on the note they left on the kitchen table , right next to it had a envelope , with some money in it , I called my brother asking were he was "I'm at a friends house"  he said half asleep "you need to come home" I don't really have a ride" "I can pick you up" "it's fine I'll be there later" "you need to come home now" "why did something happen" "yeah" "Ill send you the address" I picked him up and he sat in the car waiting for me to tell him before we walked in the house "mom and dad left" "like went out or something ", I shook my head , "what do you mean left" "there not coming back , for a while" "how long" "I don't know" "oh god" "I promised mom I'd fix this , and I will , I'm gonna get better , and you're gonna be around more and we'll be happy " "doing that won't make this family happy " "it's a good start" "you're old enough to take care of yourself" "I can't be alone" "invite that one dude over" "I need you" "I'm occupied with like , life" "if you can't do this for me do it for her , god knows she would want this" "I can't believe you pulled that card , but fine" "thank you" "also god why is your neck so bruised" I pulled down the driver mirror thing and looked at my dark purple neck mark from the other day "a hickey" "no it's not" "don't mind it" "whatever" ,
The next morning was the day before break , I didn't sleep at all because I messed up my sleep schedule , and I ended up falling asleep in third period right before lunch, I wore a turtleneck but I guess when I had my head in the table you could see my huge bruise, I got woken up at the end of class when there was nobody else there by the principal "hi, can you come with me" I nodded and followed him to the office were he sat me down "I don't mean to trigger you but I couldn't help but notice your neck" "what about it" "if its something happening at home we can help you" "what no I'm not getting like abused" then I saw him walk passed the principals office "we have to report it" "i I'm not getting abused" "im just doing this to help you" "I was engaging in like private things and I tried something new okay , now please don't tell my parents they don't know I'm like active" he slightly coughed "oh"
"Uhm okay.. you can go back to class" "thank you this really means a lot" "just go"
I walked out to lunch and he walked next to me "engaging in private things" "oh shut up"
"what was that about" "something" "want to go outside" I nodded
"are you okay" "I'm fine" "I heard what the principal said" "the principal doesn't know what he's talking about" "was it him" "was it who" "you know who" "no I don't know what your on about" "I know how he didn't get seriously hurt , and how he'd probably want revenge" "revenge for what I didn't do anything" "now your just playing dumb" "everyone is so sensitive it's a little punch so what" "a little punch shouldn't leave your neck dark purple" "what do you want me to like admit it , we both know it happened, it's not like you're going to do anything"  "because if I did you'd never talk to me again" "don't make it any worse , I'll deal with it" "you obviously can't" "and what are you going to do? fight him , have a heart to heart talk?" "I'll do whatever you want me to do if you just let me help you" "you're a great friend ,and I'm sorry I keep doing this to you but I can't accept help" "if another random bruise shows up I won't ask for your permission to help" I nodded "you're a really great guy , and I'm sorry" I said before I walked back inside.
It was a week ish later and it was the night before Christmas my parents left everything ready , it was weird not seeing her stocking , it was night time and I kept calling my brother and it went straight to voicemail , I started freaking out because he hadn't called me or at least been home in almost a day after that I drove around for at least 2 hours , calling his friends and stuff , I went back home and I was hyperventilating, and I started crying on the floor , I heard a knock at the door and I knew it wasn't him because he'd use his key , someone opened the door and I looked and saw jughead, "are you okay" he said while putting  a wrapped gift on the table I shook my head "my parents left and my brother hasn't came home in a day and he hasn't picked up any calls or texts and I drove around for hours and like I asked his friends and stuff and they haven't seen him in days" "it's fine he'll show up" "no he won't" "try to check that find my phone thing" I nodded and searched up his email , and it said his phone was in some town a hour away "he's like really far" "I have time to kill" "it's Christmas Eve go spend it with your family or something" "they don't really do anything on the eve" "do you really have nothing to do" "no i don't""swear" "yes I swear" "okay let's go"
I got there within a hour , it were some apartments , and I kept calling and found witch room he was in , and I knocked on the door , some guy awnsered, "is my brother here" "nobody's here" "that's bullshit I can hear his phone" "there's this one dude that's been sleeping on my couch for a while I don't know if you mean him" "can I see at least" "sure" I saw my brother , he was dirty and he was dead asleep to the point were I had to shake him "were am I" "some random guys couch" "why" "I don't know, but let's go" we were in the car and I could tell he was drugged out "what did you take" "I don't know I didn't take anything" he said while slurring his words "where have you been" "that guys couch I guess" "and you Couldn't pick up your phone , or awnser a text" "I was asleep" "no you where fucking cracked out" "god can you not talk about this in front of you're boyfriend" "you know how hard I'm trying to fix things how could you do this" "I'm sorry okay"
When I got home Charles walked up to his room , "this is really embarrassing" "I don't think so" "we just picked my brother up from like a crack house" "stuff happens" "I guess" "what are you doing for Christmas" "probably spending it here alone" "when are you're parents coming back" "I wouldn't know" "you come to my family's Christmas tomorrow morning"
"I wouldn't want to be a burden" "my parents like you, you can bring your brother too"
"I could probably stop by for a bit I don't know" "I left your gift on the table" "I didn't know we were doing that" "doing what" "like gifts otherwise I would've gotten you something" "it's fine" "you're the nicest person I know" I said before I kissed him "does this mean like" "yes now get out"