RUTHLESSLY

Dumb

Jason's POV

I Followed Karma out of the motel room, the screen door slamming as it shut. I turned around to talk to her, but when I opened my mouth I was met with a glare that could kill, her arms crossed over her chest as she looked at me expectingly. I froze in my spot then closed my mouth, she scoffed then pushed passed me roughly hitting my shoulder. 

"Where are you going?" I turned again in the new direction she was walking in, She stopped and turned towards me. 

"You know you are so goddamn self-centered. Jade is a human being, and you just treat her like dirt under your boot." she gestured towards my feet, "And all because of what, you're untreated mommy issues?" 

I stiffened and shifted my gaze towards the ground. "I know.." was all I could quietly let out, I knew she was right but something in me no matter how hard I tried to push it down still bit at me like a boiling rage. I heard her huff and she turned to start walking again. I looked up at her.

"Where the hell are you going, Karma?" She turned back around but continued walking backwards, she opened her arms as if it was obvious as to where she was going. 

"Where do you think?" She sarcastically yelled, "I need a fucking drink! Are you coming or just going to stand there?" 

I looked back to the motel room's door then back to Karma, I didn't want to leave Jade alone completely, I knew Jody was with her but what if they tried to run together again? Would she leave Karma here?  

"What about Jade?" I blankly asked. Karma brushed it off with her hand.

"She's fine. She's with Jody, besides were not helping any. She could use a bit of time away from us." and with that she continued walking in the direction of the bar, I took another look at the motel door before reluctantly following her in the same direction.

....

I walked into the bar behind Karma taking a seat beside her at one of the barstools. The place was small and looked shabby on the outside but was better looking on the inside, still there wasn't much I could say about their rooms. It looked as if they put more effort into the bar than the rest of the motel. 

There was a single T.V on the wall across from us and under that sat all of the liquor bottles, a clock sat just beside but a little underneath the televison  which was playing a rerun of a football game. There was also a door to the right where the bartender from the other night entered through stopping when he saw us. 

"What can I get you guys?" He asked, I looked to Karma she was shaking her coat off her arms she draped it over the back of her chair. 

"Whiskey on the rocks." She told him without looking up, the guy turned to me. 

"I'll have the same, except smooth." He nodded his head then turned around to get our drinks, once he did he set them in front of us then left us alone to tend to the other customers on the other side of the bar. The place seemed empty where we sat, it was only the two of us I could hear that the other side was filled with people hearing the random shout or two whenever there was a touch down in the football match.

It was an awkward silence at first, I stared at the wall pretending to watch the T.V while Karma sat with her elbows on the table staring down at her drink seemingly lost in thought.  

"You are so dumb." She finally spoke, I almost choked on my drink from the sudden insult after it being so deathly quiet. 

"What?" I stupidly asked as I turned to her, I knew I had made some dumb decisions, damming ones even. I guess I felt like I was in the right and never thought to question myself over them. But now, there could be almost a thousand things she could be calling me out on.

She was still looking down at her drink sadly, playing with the hem of her shirt. 

"Are you even sorry?" I looked back towards the wall of the bar confused, I knew that I shouldn't have been but again, there were so many things that she could be talking about. I ran my hand threw my hair, not wanting to fight anymore. I sighed.

"For what?" I looked back at her and I instantly new that I made a mistake the second those two words left my mouth as I watched her glare turn into pure rage. 

"F-for what?!" She stammered out, "What the hell do you think? Hmm, let's see." She pulled up her hand from the counter and began to name things off on her fingers, "Blowing up the farm for one thing, beating and kidnapping our sister, fighting me to get to her to the point where I had to pull my gun in your face." I Internally cringed at that one, that day I was just so angry and felt that  I had already lost all the family I had left after Karma found out what had been going on with Jade. "Oh and the best one yet, making Jade want to kill herself!"

I looked back at her with anger of my own dressed across my face, I pointed my finger in her face as she looked back at me with equal anger except hers may be a lot more. "Hey, that's not fair. We don't know why she tried to do that. " Karma rolled her eyes and looked back to the wall of the bar, taking a sip of her drink. "As for everything else.." I started, my face beginning to soften, I looked back down at my own drink. "Yes, I am sorry. I would take it all back if I could." She looked back at me, her brows came together as she searched my face for truth. Apparently she didn't find it as she twisted her face back into anger.

"Well, you can't." she spat at me. "Even if you were able to stop being an asshole, do you think Jade would forgive you or me? And the farm..." She trailed off at the mention of the farm, I hung my head down. She was right. Karma was always right. I couldn't fix everything I've done, I couldn't heal the physical or emotional wounds I left Jade with. I couldn't fix the distrust I had with Karma. I couldn't rebuild the farm. But.. I could try. 

I looked to Karma, my face perking up as I remembered the savings account I had saved from the time my parents had died. I never touched it, I couldn't bear to use that money for anything because of a feeling of attachment towards it being the last thing I would have ever gotten from them. There had originally been around 700,000 in the account, but I had been putting money in there for a while and with the insurance from the farm.. I think it might be possible.

"What if we could fix the farm?" She looked at me like I was crazy, I shook my head then began to explain to her about the money and the insurance. she gave me a wary look, she took a sip of her drink not moving to look away from me. 

"Your willing to do that? How the hell to you still have mom and dads money?"

"I could never spend it, everything seemed unworthy to be spending that money on, so I kept it. Kept saving it up. But the farm.. mom and dad would have wanted it that way." I finished, scratching the back of my head and looking down in shame, if my parents could have seen what I've done they would have disowned me.

Karma set her drink back down on the bar, swallowing the rest of it with a sour look on her face. "Okay.. but if you do this, It doesn't mean that everything's forgiven."

I looked back up at her, "I know." I told her sadly. 

"But it's a start." she said, looking at me with a hint of remorse on her face. I nodded, a hopeful look beginning to cross my face, maybe now I could start to dedicate everything I did to them. My family. It would take time to heal, for all of us. But most of all Jade. I had to figure out a way to make her feel comfortable without hurting her even more, but for now like Karma said, It was a start. A start I wanted to be fixing right away. 

"I'll go into town tomorrow and get everything settled." I gulped before I spoke my next sentence, not wanting to but knowing that I needed to, to gain trust I had to give trust. "You and Jody take Jade back to the farm. I'll meet you guys there."

She looked at me stunned, "Are you sure about that?" She asked me skeptically, I only nodded my head. She smiled back at me, "I'll come with you then, Jody know's how to drive." She closed her eyes then looked back at me scared. "I hope.."

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh as she said that, "Okay, then it's settled." I held out my hand as an action to shake her own. "Tomorrow." 

She gave me a devious smile as she took my hand and shook it. 

"Tomorrow."