a/n WOOF BARK BARK i got wayyy to into last chapter but yk, I GOT TO FINISH THIS BS
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* material girl (sped up), saucy santana *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
tw: lots and lots of swearing 😈
____________________
i look at her sorrowful eyes and the tears cascading down her face. i feel my arms reach-out and wrap around her.
"i forgive you, he tricked us both." i whispered into her ears. she sobs loudly and whispers "thank you" over and over.
"yes, ladies if you wanna we could all be together you know 😏" shrek said pointing inside. "EWWW shrek what the fuck is wrong with you!!!" donkey yelled as he raised his hooves and hit shrek.
"BIOTCH BALLZ DONKEYYYY." shrek yelled gripping his ✨ member ✨. "GO DONKEYYY! " fiona yelled over green m&m's heaving shoulders.
"#b-boyboss." m&m said softly in her post-crying rasp. the three laughed, as shrek dramatically rolled on the porch.
"what did you say biotch?" shrek said standing up (with much struggle, hooves hurt bro). he tried to pull m&m away from fiona. "oh fuck no" fiona exclaimed kicking shrek again.
"OH EM GEE!" shrek said crumpling once more. "you catastrophic... dick!" fiona yelled smiling, "WE ARE OVER!"
"YESKSKSK!" donkey yelled kicking up on his hind legs. m&m turned around smiling affectionately at fiona's confident, beautiful face, "SAME SHREK, WE ARE OVER, YOU FUCKING LOSER!" at those words they kicked her ex-lover in his genitals.
"lets get out of her, huh?" i wrapped my arm around donkey, and my new friend. "let's go hun." green m&m said blushing. donkey wiggled his eyebrows at me.
we went for waffles, at donkey's suggestion. it was probably the happiest i've been in a while. snuggling up with m&m in our booth, laughing at donkey's jokes, sneaky eye contact.
when we parted at my cottage at the end of the night, green m&m slipped me her number. "in case you want to hang out again fiona." they said bashfully "of course i want to green m&m!" i said hugging her. "goodnight everyone!" i said happily as the godmother left my house after taking $250 off me, we were out for a while...
and that's how i met your step-mother
YOU ARE READING
~c o c k a i n e ~ (various x reader)
Fanfiction【ｏｎｅｓｈｏｔｓ】and longer stories crack cocaine but (lipbite) ~Shrek (Daddy) ~Lightning Mcqueen ~Teletubbies ~Megamind you name it im going to write it ☺️ THIS IS ALL A JOKE PLS PLS PLS BELIEVE ME
