both of them

School again ,part 1

It's my first day of school again and I was just dreading it , yeah I get to see Alex again but I also have to see Lizzy since were partners in a lot of subjects , but let's not let her make me dread it just try think of the positives like seeing Alex and well... cloud watching after school but there's really not much else but whatever just try think positive

I got out of bed packed my bag and went down for breakfast, 'good morning mam,' I said positively. 'Good morning honey' my mam said whilst making breakfast . I got a piece of bread slid it in the toaster and waited for it to pop 'anything new?' My mom said. 'no not really' I said trying to hide the fact that me and Lizzy kissed even tho they do support me , I've told them that I've changed to bisexual ,it would just be easier not to tell her. 'Ok' she said

I got my toast and went to go get showered , but just as I was getting dressed after my shower I thought *what if Lizzy hates me and what if she never talks to me again * and my eyes started watering but I just had to wipe the tears of my face, rub my eyes and put on my fake smile and went out the door

I was going down the road and I could just see the trees looking really gorgeous just I didn't want to look at them because they were the same trees that me and Lizzy cloud watched over and kissed under and that's when our friendship well... yea ,and I knew It would just make me cry and I don't wanna cry in school since I'm usually acting happy in school and everyone will just think of me as a cry baby

I rode past the green we kissed on faster then ever and I just wandered up the road ,I  turned on the other street to go to school and I could just feel the breeze going through my hair but I wasn't commenting on it or acting happy because I could just feel this wave of sadness go over me and that's never happened before going to school but I was just thinking about Lizzy and I was trying to hide it and I just couldn't and I was just crying ,my eyes were watering more then ever and I could feel tear drops go down my face until they hit my mask

I stopped for a second and I was just rubbing my eyes to try hide my sadness before entering the building and then I could feel someone poking my back,I quickly rubbed my eyes and turned around and for anyone in the world to see I saw Lizzy ' u ok ? Bc I noticed u stopped and was rubbing your eyes for a while' Lizzy said concerned, but all I could think of was y was she here and why did she care because she didn't visit me in the hospital or even text and she just ghosted me , 'I'm fine , I just had something in my eye' I said kind of annoyed and I just went along the ride a bit fast

' hey! What's wrong' Lizzy said but I was just confused ' nothing? What you mean I never showed any emotion' I said but I just kinda went a bit slower because Lizzy was trying to talk 'I know but you just went away not even talking' Lizzy said but I usually don't like raising my voice or being mean but I just couldn't resist 'what do you mean I'm not talking? You didn't visit me in the hospital or text me at all for the past 2 weeks.'I said kind of regretting it but it also kind of felt good 'fine, by then' Lizzy said kind of sad as she was putting her bike in her bike rack  'fine look I'm sorry,but I still stand by what I said , you can't say much that I'm not talking'i said just catching up to her since she was walking a bit fast

'Yeah , and you do have every right to be mad but I do have reasons' Lizzy said looking down kind of regretting some stuff 'go on... , with your reasons' I said  realising she might of actually not of done as bad stuff as I thought.