both of them

For a while

I could still feel the tears rolling down my face , I didn't know if it was from sadness which is most likely or tears of joy that Lizzy and me were hugging and that she made me feel better , even if it is happy tears I'm still completely sad on the inside and my heart Is still empty , and I think it will be for a while or just until I can see her then I will feel a bit better

'So that I can make it up to you for kissing you and leaving can we do something after school' lizzy said trying to get my mind of of well.... You know .. 'sure what do you want to do' I said trying to wipe one of my tears from my eyes

'I've got a surprise for you' Lizzy said with a huge smile on her face , I loved it when she had smile on her face . 'Ok nice' I said trying to hide the fact that I was really sad from Alex committing .

So we went on with our classes and Hazel just texted me saying that she will say in an hour if Alex was going to be ok which I got kinda happy about but then all these thoughts hit me 'what if she's not going to be ok' 'what if I lose my best friend' 'what if she has a disability or something that could stay for life' . And then I started to tear up a bit , I was thinking what could I have done to help or what could I have done to stop it , and I was also thinking why would she but I might have been to late to help her.

Only another 20 mins left of school and I just couldn't wait to see Lizzy and my surprise she made for me and I also couldn't wait just because I knew she could get my mind off of Alex since I'd prefer not think about it because it will just make me cry . I got no response from hazel yet apart from her telling me the doctors weren't sure if she would make its ice the cuts are in really bad spots with really bad scars

Finally school was over and I was walking out of school with Lizzy and a tear drop went from my face since I was thinking of Alex and Lizzy noticed then all of a sudden she hugged me from the side and said 'don't be thinking of her because it will just make you more sad plus hazel will text if anything is wrong' , I wiped my tear and hugged her back 'ok , and what's the surprise you made for me' I said but before Lizzy could answer I heard a beep from my phone and I immediately rushed to my phone because I knew it would be hazel

From Hazel:
Hey the doctors told me the news and Alex is going to live since they could stop the bleeding in time and they put bandages on the cuts but she won't be awake for a good while due to her loss of blood and you can come and visit her just it's only one person at a time in her room at a time so you can't visit right now

I immediately told Lizzy as my face lit up and I just texted back 'thank you so much for telling me I'm really happy'

After all that excitement Lizzy brought me to her big surprise, we were at the grass we cloud gaze at and we were cloud gazing for a while then whilst I was on the grass I was on my side with my hand holding my head then Lizzy told my to close my eyes , I knew this is what the surprises was and then she told me to open my eyes

I saw her holding a bouquet of flowers she must have bough in the shop whilst we were walking past it and she got on her two knees so I could get my flowers as I was laying down and she said 'Charlotte Jones will you be my girlfriend' . I jumped up on my feet and she did to and I said 'YES I will be your girlfriend Lizzy' , and I wrapped my left arm around her and put my right arm through her hair and we were kissing , but this time no one went away and we both wanted this to happen . My eyes teared up for the 1000 time today but this was different since this was happy tears and before were sad ones

I immediately thought *would Lizzy's parents support her* so I asked and she said 'yeah they have always said they support LGBTQ+ , how about you'. 'yeah same and also I already told them I'm bisexual' . So after that little conversation I asked 'so how come you started having enough feelings to ask me to be your girlfriend' and I was actually really curious to find out why 'well after we first kiss I started having feelings , but I wasn't sure if I should've told you so I kind of drifted away from you' she said looking down

We left that conversation on hold and went to her house since we planned on telling her parents first since my dad wasn't home and I wanted to tell them together and Lizzy's parents were home

Although I did drop my bag and flowers at home first and my mam just put my flowers in a vase

'Mam , dad I'm home and we got some big news Hailey , Rose you can come too' Lizzy said putting her bag down 'we're coming ,what's the big news . Oh Hi Charlotte' Lizzy's mam said whilst getting Lizzy's dad and her sisters on the couch 'Hello' I said since it's only polite . Lizzy's sister Hailey was 20 and Rose was 17. Me and Lizzy held hands and we said 'we're dating'