Feelings

Body image

I've been trying really hard to boost my personal image. It's gone really well so far.
Whether it be because I've Surrounded myself with men who make me feel comfortable on social media or because I've set up an actual skincare routine to make me feel nice, doesn't matter because I've felt comfortable in my skin.

It wasn't until the other day when all of that changed. Texting my friend, sending pictures back and forth to each other, I couldn't get a nice picture of me for the life of me. No filter helped and no angle helped either.
It didn't help that my friend looked really cute in the pictures he was sending me either. I noticed every blemish, acne scar, blackhead, and imperfection on my face, even my face shape looked horrible and my double chin made itself very present in the moment.

I very quickly found myself violently humbled back to the ground in the span of five seconds.
Three Years of work and self love down the drain because deep down inside I know that no matter what I do I will forever hate the way I look.
Makeup
Nice clothes
A mask
Colored contacts
Face masks
And moisturization
Will never fix that.
I can have the perfect skin I've always wanted and the body that I want but I will still tel myself that i hate it. No matter how many times I trick myself into believing that I'm beautiful or handsome, deep down I know it will always be a lie and nothing can change that.