My One And Only // {Johnnyboy}

Chapter Twenty-Four: Forgiveness

Johnny and I were silent.  We both had so much we wanted to say, but neither of us knew where to start.  We were off to a good start - Johnny didn't let go of my hand, so I assumed he wasn't mad about Sodapop anymore.  At least that's what I hoped.

"That... that sure was somethin'," I said finally.  Both of our eyes were still locked forward.  He was probably still mad about Sodapop, or mad that I made a scene, or-

"That was real brave of ya, Pone," said Johnny.

I slowed down our pace and glanced to the side.  Johnny still didn't look up.  "What'd ya mean?" I asked.

Johnny kept his eyes on the sidewalk.  "It ain't rocket science.  You came out to defend me.  That was brave an' bold an' a little stupid.  Why?"

I shrugged.  "I don't know.  It just felt right, gettin' it off my chest and telling 'em to take it or leave it."

He sighed.  "But Pony, you did it 'cause of me.  I don't get it."

"What's not to get?  You were bein' interrogated by two homophobic straight guys, so I tried to get you out of it."

".... By coming out in a fit of rage."

I thought for a few seconds.  "Well, when you put it that way, I guess it sounds a little weird.  But what else did ya want me to do?  Side with 'em?  Call you slurs?"

"Well, it would've been a lot safer for you.  Those guys are twice your size.  If you didn't have Darry watchin' your back you'd be a bloody, bruised-up mess by now!" 

I felt the spark in my stomach coming back.  "Oh, I'm the one who ain't bein' safe now?  Look who's talking, Mr. I Already Found a New Boyfriend So Now I'm Gonna Kiss Him in Public," I shoot back.

Johnny stopped walking, ultimately making me stop too.  He looked me dead in the eyes.  "You don't know what you're talking about, Ponyboy."

I glared at him, my jealous feelings rising faster than the speed of sound.  "Oh really?  Then tell me about it."

Johnny glared back, letting go of my hand.  "He was a friend that went too far, alright?"

"Johnny, what are you talking about-"

He sighed and started walking again.  He didn't take my hand back.  "He was my friend.  I thought I could trust him.  I told him about... you know... long before we got together.  Must've been about a year ago now.  I needed advice, and he was the only person I could go to."

"You could've came to me," I said, softening my glare.

"No, Ponyboy!  I couldn't!  You know why?  'Cause I've been freaking out about you, about us!" exclaimed Johnny.

I stayed quiet.  Johnny kept talking.  "I'm in love with you, okay?  You're my one and only.  It ain't Curly, and it never has been Curly.  It's always been you, Ponyboy.  And I think I made a mistake, calling it off.  That's why I came over.  And then Steve an' Two-bit messed it all up."

"I think they did a little more than 'mess things up.'  But what did Curly do?"

"He knew I was gay.  He knew I was still getting over a breakup.  An' he took me to the lake.  I thought he was just gonna be my shoulder to cry on, ya know?  But we started talking, and I said I thought I was in love with you, and he said I wasn't and that I needed a 'real' man, an' the next thing I knew his lips were on mine.  I guess I kissed back, just to see if I was over you.  And, big surprise, that made me realize for certain that I needed you back.  So I guess what I'm tryna' say is... sorry."

I stopped walking again.  Johnny was staring at the ground.  I gently lifted his chin with my hand so he was looking at me.  His eyes sparkled with regret.  "Johnny... I think I'm the one who should be sayin' sorry.  I should've watched my tongue around Sodapop-"

"And I shouldn't have overreacted like that," said Johnny quickly, cutting me off.

"What?  No, no, Johnny, that was valid-"

"I mean, he was gonna find out eventually.  Look, I'm over it.  I don't need some straight guy's validation when I can have a cute boyfriend instead," he said, grinning shyly.

I thought for a minute.  "I'm willing to start over if you are.  Because... I think I'm in love with you, too."

As soon as those words left my mouth, I felt a familiar sensation on my lips.  I kissed back like it was the last time I was ever going to kiss him.  I loved him.  He was my one and only, forever and always.

As we pulled apart, I giggled.  "So much for being safe."

"You know what, Ponyboy?  I don't think I care anymore.  If the world wants to hate us, let it!  As long as I got you by my side, that's all that matters," he said, smiling widely.

With the closure I had with Johnny, I knew there was only one thing left to do: face the wrath of my own gang.