Hating Loving You

Chapter- 40 {1}

Mia POV-

I sat on the sofa that was near out room from the last 5 to 10 minutes, my head on my hands. Fighting about if I should enter the room or not. I don't know what I'm doing here!

Should I go inside and talk to Vaarin?
What will I talk? What will I tell him? That I don't think him of my kidnapper any more?
I do not think him just as my kidnapper anymore.
Ya so you can tell him you forgive him?

Hell, nah, I don't want to open that chapter of our lives. We both were misguided, Neither did I knew the truth nor him.

So what!!?? Are you gonna sit here as dumb fuck! Mia you just can't sit here and let your relationship with Vaarin, which you two has taken a alot of time to build, break like this. Get up, go, talk to him, he will understand. Don't let miscommunication ruin your relationship.

Yes, I will talk to him. And we don't even know which part as he heard, the room is soundproof so we don't know anything yet. Cool down.

I took a deep breath in as I bent more and my hands went to the back of my head, holding my open hair not letting them come on my face.

I was about to get up however I heard the door opening. My head snapped to the direction of it. I saw Vaarin full dressed, jeans and a plain t-shirt with car key and his phone in his hand.

He was about to leave?

It was a rhetorical question, of course he was about to leave that's why he was ready.

I stood up but he passed by me like I was air and he couldn't see me.

Fuck, sure he has heard more than he should have. And he is not just sad but extremely upset!!

I ran behind him.

"Vaarin," I held his hand. He stopped but didn't turn back, my grip was not even close to firm he stopped by his own will.

"Are you going somewhere?" I didn't knew how to ask him if he has heard anything without telling him directly.

I was left suprised when he just pulled back his hand roughly and continued to walk. I knew he didn't expected me to talk about this, and he sure was more pissed now.

What should I do!?
I was dumbstruck.

Mia it's not the time for it!
You can do it! You don't want those horrible days again between you two! The bigger thing is you can't lose him!

I stopped thinking and almost ran behind Vaarin.

"Vaarin" I tried to tell him to stop but ofc he didn't. I ran and stood in front of him and the main door, which was just one turn away.

"Vaarin, it's not how it looks-" when he cut me off my eyes went to his eyes and he took a step closer to me.

"What does it look like?" He asked in icy calm tone. I cared less about his tone at this time.

"Look Vaarin, Advik made it sound very horrible however trust me it's not like that, I.. I" I halted, what should I say!? Okay this not what I had talk about!!

I wanted to tell him not feel bad about it and forget that this happened. And that it's Advik habit to create chaos.

"Vaarin, that's not what matter. Advik sure doesn't know anything about us--" my voice held desperation of making him calm, even though I hated explaining nevertheless my speech just seem to worsen his emotions.

"Oh it didn't seem like he doesn't know everything about us!?" His voice held mockery. He smirked; a smirk which would send chills down to your spine, of fear.

"Vaarin-" I tried to touch his forearm.
My motion came to standstill when he shouted

"What? What, huh? Vaarin, Vaarin , Vaarin! What do you want Mia!???" He huffed and I took a deep breath in, to relax and not be scared of it.

"You know what! I thought we were actually moving forward and we could have nice future although" he laughed sarcastically " although whatever has happened in the past, but I was such a big fucking idiot, wasn't I?" He rubbed his forehead as his other hand went to his waist.

"Vaarin, No .." I held back my tears as my head shook left to right.

"Of course, I was. I could I forget whatever you had said to me, You will never love me! You would never want a man like me, huh!? I think something really do never change!" He looked.. disgusted. By me? No no, why will.. no!?

"Vaarin, it's not like that.. I didn't mean it.. I swear" Vaarin was passing by me when I said it. He stopped I turned towards him and he did the same.

"You don't?" He asked. This made hope lighten up inside me.

"Yes I didn't mean that all, actually I --" I started with a faint smile but till the ending I was bewildered myself.

I was just pissed at you, because you thought of me as play thing, well you didn't but I was made to believe that you thought so and then you kidnapped me to make it worse you threatened with the life of my parents..... Fuck this is messed up, very fucking messed up.

"Exactly" He looked up in the air in annoyance, and then he looked at me with fuming eyes.

"You know that's the problem" he screamed suddenly to make me flinch!

He stepped one step closer, and I step back. I was pretty frightened by his temper by now, and scared that if we are close something horrible will happen!

"You don't tell the complete truth" he stepped closer and I backed out.

"You never tell me what is going on!" I stepped back, giving him space to move forward.

"You tends, you love to hide things, thinking what's a big deal they can be dealt later!?" He was in deep rage even though his voice was calm he was not. I could feel the cold air coming from the wall, just one more step and I will definitely touch it.

"But no, No Mia, that's not how it should be!" I again flinched at his tone and touched the wall. His hand made a loud 'chap' sounds when he prisoned me between his arms. Oh lord, his hands, it must have hurt.

"Vaarin, please, calm down" I held is biceps in order to make him relax. His eyes held rage which scared the shit out of me. I wasn't scared that he was angry, being angry - disappointed is part of every one, however I was scared because I suspected we both will do or say something which we might always regret for our whole life . And regret is a feeling which I never want to face.

•🌹•

Hang on please!
Will try to release the next part soon.

I know you know this chapter wasn't edited.

And forgive me, pleasseee.
I had papers on head and I again have papers on head. So you during this time I don't really have time to write!!!

But but!!! This book is about to cross 8k
I'm on the fucking 7th heaven.

Seriously, can't put it in words!

Just, Thank you ✨❤️

Ly 💞
Tc💕

Yours,
J

Published on- 4/02/22