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The faint squeaking of her white crocs as she walked down the hospital's shiny tiles was driving CJ nuts. Because of the squeaking, and because she was wearing crocs- something she swore she would never own. But at this point in her pregnancy, she felt as if they were her only choice.
The blonde hurried down the hall to Tamara's room. She couldn't wait for her shift to end so she could talk with the patient before she headed home. Something about Tamara made CJ feel like they have a connection that she can't explain.
"How's my favorite patient?" CJ called as she turned into Tamara's room.
CJ looked around the now patient-free room. The bed was made, lights off. Her heart skipped a beat.
"There you are." Jack panted, running up to CJ. "I wanted to catch you before you got here."
"Where is she?" CJ panicked.
Jack hesitated before answering. "She's in the cancer wing."
"Oh my God." Her hand slapped over her mouth out of shock.
Jack offered a hug to her when her crystal-blue eyes started to tear up, but CJ shook her head.
"I have to go see her." CJ announced.
"She really needs her rest, Cassie." Jack explained in a defeated tone. All he got in response was a blonde ponytail in his face as CJ turned and made her way to Tamara's new room.
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"This is the one." Makonnen grinned as he listened to the song he and Gus were working on for the past week.
"It sounds so fucking sick." Gus agreed. He took the headphones off and set them on the bed between them. Makonnen closed his laptop, looking to Gus.
"This is gonna sound mad corny, but I'm happy I met you," He confessed bluntly.
"Me too, man." Gus nodded. "Having a friend here really helps."
Makonnen offered a half smile.
"Actually-" Gus reached across Makonnen and grabbed his worn notebook from the wooden nightstand and offered it to his new friend. "I'm working on this.... It's also kinda corny, but..." He shrugged. "Can you tell me what you think?"
Makonnen's dark eyes scanned the title; Right Here.
The friend accepted the pages just as one of the workers stopped in to inform Gus that his mom was on the phone for him.
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CJ almost cried the second she saw Tamara lying there, pale, in the dimly-lit new room. She cautiously moved closer, being mindful of the stress she must be under.
"Jackie," Tamara smiled weakly. "I told your boyfriend not to bother you with my situation."
"He's not-" She sighed. "How are you feeling, Tamara? Do you need anything?" She sat at the side of the small hospital bed and held the patients hand tightly.
"I'm just dandy." Tamara tried to reassure CJ. "Don't you worry yourself now."
"Just let me care about you." CJ felt frustrated with Tamara. With everything.
All the older woman could say was "Okay". Just as CJ opened her mouth to speak again, she suddenly felt as if the wind was knocked out of her.
"Jesus- he's doing somersaults in there." She croaked, holding her belly.
"Let me feel him." Tamara demanded. The younger woman crawled further up on the bed, lying on her side while propping her head up with her fist. She faced Tamara so that the older woman could easily feel the baby moving inside CJ's belly. Tamara smiled warmly as she placed an IV clad hand over the sage-green scrub top.
"Oh, he's feisty," The older woman's eyes crinkled in the corners as she smiled. CJ couldn't help but smile back.
"Do you have any kids, Tamara?" CJ mused.
Tamara didn't speak at first. CJ was afraid that her question had upset the patient based off of the silence.
"I got knocked up in my twenties," She started slowly. "A little girl."
"The father and I weren't getting along... We both had our problems, being so young. He wasn't in the picture towards the end and I knew I couldn't do it alone- God, I was terrified to do it alone. I didn't want to put a child through all the problems I was dealing with, so I decided to give her up." She admitted a shameful. "This sweet gay couple applied to adopt her... they were so excited. They seemed happy together. Careers. Money. How could I say no?" Tamara smiled sadly. "I know I did the right thing. She probably has the perfect life... Not going through what I went through."
CJ's heart was beating so quickly she was sure Tamara could feel it. She felt frozen. She couldn't get her mouth to move in order to speak.
"W-What was her n-name? Did you... Did you name her... before...?" She avoided eye contact as she struggled to speak.
There's no fucking way, she thought.
"Cassandra." Tamara nearly whispered. "Isn't that beautiful?"
