The USB

Video Two

"I never imagined of this day. Today, you told me to give up on you," Kara's face looks sad, "You were told that you poisoned children, and then when you went after Edge, he put you on a plane headed down. I saved you today, or more specifically Supergirl did. I can't help but think what would've happened if I didn't have my powers. You would've died, and I would've been powerless to stop Edge. Sam was a better friend to you than I was today."

You saved my life, that doesn't make you a bad friend. That makes you a hero. It shames me to think of Kara as a hero. Unlike her, I won't lie. She has saved me more times than I can count, mentally and physically.

"All I can think of is how I've somehow let you down. I should've told you the truth earlier, so we could be different than your brother and my cousin. I trust you with everything, my life, and now, while your watching this, my secret. You are probably mad, oh Rao, I would be too. I am sorry for the pain. Only Rao knows how long I will keep this secret. I doubt I will take it to my grave. That is the thing with secrets, they never stay hidden. I mean there has been a handful of times I thought about telling you, during the children's gala, when you were sent to jail, when I rescued you. We don't have time for every time I wanted to reveal my truth."

Why couldn't you just tell me?

"This is probably the shortest of videos. It hasn't been that long since my old video. Mon-El leaving still hurts, it hurts more to see you blame yourself. Lena, it isn't your fault."

Kara was so distant after Mon-El. She couldn't even get her work done, I heard that Kara had a panic attack in the Catco Elevator, which now explains the hole that goes from the elevator to the roof. 

"I have made up my mind about something. I only want there to be five videos. I think the last thing you want to do is swim around in memories. I think it would be poison to you, I wouldn't want to hear about all the times that Supergirl and Kara treated you differently."

Kara isn't wearing her glasses. It is so weird to see her without them. Her hair is still pinned up, she is still wearing the blue shirt with the collar. She looks so happy but also mournful. The video ends, and I debate watching the next one. I decide against it, the videos are long and sad. I unplug the USB from my computer and thirty minutes later when I exit L-Corp, I see a flash. You can't quite make up what it is, but I know what it is, or more specifically, who it is. Under my breath, and barely with my acknowledgment, I whisper three words, three words I know she can hear, three words I thought I would never say again,

"I'm sorry Kara."

Hours Later...

I lie in bed trying to will my eyes into closing. All I can think about is Kara, and what she said. I want to call her, or yell at her, or just hear her voice. I want to be near her but I also want her to be far, far away, somewhere that would take years to even get to. I have no doubt that she feels the same. It isn't the first time that someone was afraid of my last name.

My mind wonders more into the topic of guilt. I believe everyone is haunted by guilt, by missed chances, things they wish they wish they could change but truly, they can't change anything. I want to hold onto the belief that if Kara had told me sooner than maybe we wouldn't be at odds right now. But I know the truth, I would have the same reaction.

(This would've been before "Mxy in the Middle.")

I grab my phone and text Kara.

I watched the first two videos today and I understand now that I betrayed you back. That doesn't undo the world of hurt that you and everyone else caused me. So, if you heard me apologize, just know I only meant it about one thing.

I debate sending it and I think about the pro's and the con's and everything else. I click the green button sending the message. Within minutes, I receive a reply. I read it and then go back to bed. The text was simple, just two words. 

I understand.

Yet, somehow those two words are enough to lull me to sleep. It is enough to satisfy my urge to rush to her apartment, bang on the door, and cry on her shoulder. 

Author's note- This chapter is foreshadowing a lot. But you get to see Lena opening her mind a bit more so it helps further the story. XOXO Grey.