The USB

Video Four/Sam's Video PT.1

Guilt and Debt, Sorrow and Remorse, Lena and Kara, all sides of the same coin..supposedly. After my brief text conversation with Alex, I decided to quit while I was ahead. I was falling into the same trap, the same trap I had fallen down over these last four years. I was falling for Kara as a friend, an ally, maybe something more than friend. But that couldn't happen, not again. I was not going to open myself up to her. Not after I just escaped, it is unhealthy to dwell on a person this long. But this feels worse than a breakup. I keep on thinking about how I once stupidly asked Kara what her kryptonite was, and she couldn't think of any, I know now that it was literally kryptonite. Mine at the time was Jack. I loved Jack and I would follow him anywhere until I wouldn't. And in the end, I was ok after him. Later, my kryptonite evolved into Kara and this kryptonite seems bigger and more powerful, leaving me to dwell on her blond angel-like hair, with those baby-blue eyes, that remind you of a happy, innocent puppy. My heart still jumps when I see the color combo of red and blue, like some hypnotizing trance, I stare at the tv screen as the news displays her carrying a kitten from a tree. 

I miss her laughter. Her smile. All she does now is frown, avoid me, or apologize. Yet, my hatred for her deception runs deeper and deeper, but my love for her somehow, in someway, by something prevails. I remind myself that there are only two videos left. I grab my laptop, kick off my black heels, and drop down on the couch. I see Kara sitting on her bed looking directly into the camera as brave as I've ever seen her. 

"Lena, hi," she waves her hand, and her happy expression stops, "The date is May 5th, 2019. We have just landed back in the USA, I am about to go see President Baker to tell him about Lex and Red Daughter. I have some time to make a video so here I am," she pauses, and I find myself staring at the screen even more. 

"All you ever ask for is the truth. From me, from Lex, and from Eve. Today, Eve stabbed you, and betrayed us..again. And here I am giving you what really happened in Kasnia. First things first, I don't hate flying but I am not a big fan of planes in general. My first save was a plane, it had Alex on it. The next thing is that when our plane was going down, I saved it and I never passed out. But there are things I didn't lie about, like first off, I meant what I said, I will always be on your side, second off, I had no clue about what Lex was doing, it freaked even me out. When we found out about Red Daughter, and you talked to me about Nature vs Nurture, I was actually scared for America, I was scared for you, I was scared for me, hell I was scared for Eve who didn't seem to be in her right mind. But let's be real is Eve ever in her right mind?" Kara chuckles and has a tiny smile, it is small but it is there. I shake my head no at her question. Even now, under my control, Eve isn't really Eve. Truthfully, I don't know very much about her, she constantly has different personalities, at least now as Hope, she can repay her debt to society, to me really. I have her working down in my lab, I figured I would allow myself to have a tiny break. 

"I was about to tell you my real identity on the plane. So many times I just wanted to take off my glasses and show you who I really was. I..I just kept thinking of what good that would do, it would ease my conscious but you...you would feel so betrayed. I would too, it is so valid for you to hate me if you do right now," I stare at Kara's face. She seems so rushed, but you can tell how important it is to her like normal, she dropped everything just to talk to me. I look down at my phone and I pause the video. 

"Who's calling me?" I ask quietly as I pick up my phone, "Hello?"

"Hey Lena, it's Sam," I hear Sam's voice over the phone, she sounds like she normally does. Calm but yet so rushed, always in a hurry. 

"Sam! How is it going? What is up?"

"I know about Kara," she says bluntly. 

"How much?"