The Confidence of a Nerd

Epilogue (EDITED)

After we told the police everything, Aiden took me back to his place and we spent the entire night talking. I told him everything I've been through. Everything about my mom, my dad, my work, and I cried the entire time. It was the first time I had felt so free and hopeful. It was like talking about it filled some kind of hole in my heart that I never knew I had. He held me in his arms the entire time and we fell asleep like that.

I realized after that talk that I needed to go to therapy. If just talking about my past to one person could make me feel a little bit better, maybe talking to a professional would help me more. At the time, I was still just a high school girl and I didn't want to spend any money on therapy but I promised myself that when I got a stable job I'd invest in therapy. Instead, I called a therapy hotline and I talked about my problems every time I got the chance.

Aiden and I, we had to go to court to testify against Max, Mom, and Joanna. It was a terrifying experience. Standing up in a crowd of a lot of people and talking about one of the worst days of my life, I don't want to do it again. Aiden held my hand as often as he could but it was impossible to stay together the entire time. When they escorted my mom out in that orange jumper, her loud sobbing echoed in the quiet room and I could only look away. She'd done horrible things to me that can't ever be undone but seeing her like that was very unsettling.

Adrenaline shut down a few weeks after he was arrested. Somehow, seeing it abandoned like that made me feel so relieved. I'd pass the building occasionally on my way to school and when I did, I'd smile. I got a lot of money working there but it wasn't something I could eventually be proud of. It was a job where I was allowed to put all of my anger and violent thoughts and act on them. I hurt people so that I could save up money for college. I still had the money, I was still saving it and I ended up getting another part-time job somewhere else while I was still in school. I ended up working at a gym nearby. I helped people with their workout routines and I got a surprisingly decent amount of money from there.

When it was time for us to apply for college, we ended up going to different universities. Aiden went to an expensive and fancy university for big shots all the way in New York, while I went to a little local one. The distance definitely challenged our relationship. We even broke up for a long period of time. It was a very rough time for me. Aiden became huge, he ended up taking over the family business like he always talked about and I was super proud of him even though we weren't seeing each other. I even ended up sending him a congratulatory text message.

Mrs. Hendrikson ended up dying while we weren't together and it broke my heart because I loved her to death. He sent me an invitation to the funeral and I ended up going so that I could see her for the last time. His expression back then haunts me even today. It was like he was hollow. He was as pale as the woman who was lying in the coffin. The incredibly black circles underneath his eyes and his glassy eyes that refused to let even a single tear fall. He looked so broken and hurt. All that I wanted to do was help and yet I couldn't do a single thing. We kept in touch after that and I tried to be as helpful as I could. I stayed by his side as a friend and nothing more. I didn't want to try a relationship with him again at the time. I had finally gotten myself together and he had already broken my heart before and he was a young and rich businessman while I was struggling at taking care of my own boxing gym named, Hamilton's Ring. It felt like we lived in two different worlds, so while we were close friends it never crossed any lines.