The Confidence of a Nerd

Bonus Chapter

Snow is falling down hard outside, the cold air has all of us huddled in our little home theater and the kids are as loud as always. Lia's still at work right now, but she'll be coming home soon. Usually, we spend Christmas together by watching some movies in the morning and around afternoon we open Christmas presents in the living room. Every other year, Lia comes home around the time to open presents. The kids have gotten to the age where all they care about are the presents anyway, so it's not like she misses out on much besides the arguing.

"Kaden, give me back my notebook!" Angel shouts, kicking his legs and trying to grab at her notebook.

Angel's a lot like her mother, she's quick to argue and she's obsessed with a lot of the nerdy little things that Lia likes too. Anime, books, sci-fi tv, even school, she's crazy serious about all of them. Unlike Lia though, she loves to paint and I'm proud to say she definitely gets that from me. She looks more like me than her mother too. She's got my eyes, my face shape, but she's got her mom's smile, and her hair. She takes my heart every time I look at her, my very first baby girl. She knows that she's got me wrapped around her finger too and it's the funniest thing. All she's got to do to get what she wants is give me a little smile.

"Nope!" He drawls, laughing all the while. "Try and get it yourself! You can do it!" Kaden loves teasing her like this, he knows that she's insecure about her height but he still goes and does stuff like this to get a reaction out of her. They're attached at the hip though, she knows that he's doing it out of love and if it ever gets too far for her she rips him a new one. Their relationship is pretty complex but they respect each other. It's gotten to the point where he doesn't listen to anybody but Angel and his mom. He's a mama's boy through and through, refuses to even consider what I have to say for a minute and to be honest, it's adorable. Kaden's the most like me out of all of his siblings. He's taken all of my traits and pushed to the next level and it gets him into trouble sometimes. He tends to be mischievous, overly-cautious, and dramatic, but he's sweet and kind when he wants to be and he definitely gets that from Lia.

Lately, he' s been brooding about something and every time we ask him what's wrong, he just pushes us away even more. It scares me when he keeps things to himself like that. He's a sweet boy and I worry about him a lot. I'm hoping that one of these days he'll feel comfortable telling us what's wrong.

"Kaden, just give her back her notebook," Allisa says, groaning as she pinches the bridge of her nose. Recently, she's started being the little voice of reason between her siblings, especially to Austen and Kaden. She looks so much like her mother, but she's got baby blue eyes. Alissa is sweet and shy, which is a rather unusual trait to have in this family but nonetheless it makes us love her that much more. She doesn't like to talk to people, she's more comfortable being on her own and reading. When she was young, she was almost kidnapped by a stranger who broke into our home. Austen ended up protecting her and he got shot and ever since, she's been terrified of people. Her social anxiety got so bad that she hardly even talked to Lia and I, it broke our hearts. For a while, we thought she'd never talk to anyone else again so whenever she brings home a friend, we make sure that we make the both of them comfortable. We usually just let her do her own thing and I think that's been helping her come into her own. I've never been more proud of her.

"Sorry Al, I was just playing around."

"No one gives a shit, Kaden. Just give her the damn notebook back! God, you're so fucking annoying." Austen inherited Lia's anger issues, and it's becoming clearer as he gets older. He used to have temper tantrums that would last an entire day and we chalked it up to just being a kid but as he grew older he started getting into fights at school and even at home, usually with Kaden. The only one who he's soft to out of all his siblings is, Allisa. He's attached to her and he takes care of her because they're twins. They just understand each other more than the rest. I think he feels protective of her because of what happened when they were younger and every time I see them together, I feel alive. I'm so glad that they have one another. I try to understand and be there for them but sometimes I think I'm doing a bad job.

"Austen, there's no need for all that." Allisa grabs his hand and Austen visibly relaxes. Kaden looks at his younger brother and laughs. He leans back in his seat and he gives Angel her notebook back. He smiles, petting Angel's head and then he turns his attention back towards Austen.

"Can you stop acting like your Bruce Banner or something? You're a punk kid and I can beat you to a pulp. You make every family function so unbearable."

Austen stands up out of his chair and clenches his fist and Kaden does the same thing. These two really can't get along for a minute and it's exasperating.

"Sit down, the both of you. Now!"

I don't need to raise my voice or yell. Neither of them actually want to fight since today's Christmas. Kaden's just going with the flow and Austen's having trouble controlling himself so if I give them an opportunity to stop, they will.

"Geez Kaden, stop trying to piss off Austen all the time. What's even the point of this tradition if you're just gonna' act like a toddler."

Kale is the sweetest after Allisa, he's one of those people who only speak if they're spoken to and he's always trying to be kind. Kaden gets him into a lot of trouble sometimes and because of that he tends to step onto Austen's toes a lot. Austen used to look up to Kale quite a lot but he got tired of Kale always making excuses for his twins behavior. Now, Austen tries to stick to himself a lot more and Kale is always trying to reconcile their relationship, but to no avail. Kale's always had a hard time sticking up for himself so Lia's been trying to teach him how to defend himself, just in case something happens to him. He's taken to it like a fish in water and he's pretty strong so I don't worry about him as much as I used to.

He opened up to us a couple of weeks ago and he told us that he's gay. He was crying when he told us and it probably took him a lot of courage, especially for him. I was ecstatic that he felt like he could come to us with something like that and I made sure to tell him that too. I made sure to express to him that no matter what, we'd always love him. Lia was sobbing and we both hugged him and it was such a beautiful moment between us. It's a moment that, as a dad, I will never be able to forget.

Austen mumbles something incoherent to Allisa, and I sigh. I'm always worried about them, it seems. Allisa smiles and I relax, as long as she's with Austen and she's smiling I'm confident that they'll be fine for now. Finally, the room quiets down and my kids start watching the old movie on display. It's a stop motion film about Rudolph and it's quite old but it's a classic that I haven't watched with them since they were babies. I watch as their eyes focus on the movie and I smile.

"I'm home!"

Kaden's eyes light up when he hears his mom's voice and I smile as her gentle voice soothes my heart. Our family's definitely not perfect, it has a lot of flaws and we struggle often. We've been through a lot as a family but we love each other and we try our best. Lia walks into the room way earlier then I thought she would and I walk up to her and give her a lingering kiss on the forehead. I smile, it's all thanks to her that I'm able to have this family and I couldn't be more grateful. It was her confidence and grace that I fell for hiding behind a mask of a quiet nerd and because of that I have children who look and act like the both of us. This life that I live is blessed and I couldn't be happier.