Eryka talks about her life experiences leading her up to her current position in an interview based along with her diary signature endings as "The Loner".
My Name is Eryka. As of January 16, 2022, I am 17 years old. I am junior in high school, 11th grade year. I feel like just a few days ago, I was wandering the halls as a Freshman. I am what the high school social status quota states is a "loner". I really bring the military perspective of "speak when spoken to". I don't associate with most people. It's not that I don't like people. *chuckles* Yeah, not even I can lie to the public or my mother like that. I don't like people because of what this generation likes to do. They like to manipulate people, disrespect teachers, be rude to elders, and get loud when shit isn't going their way. That's why when I walk the halls, I have my AirPods in. I don't want to listen to the latest gossip. I don't want to know who is selling weed. I don't want to hear who got caught dealing. I don't want to hear anyone's nicotine bathroom adventures. I don't want to hear about the white girls' bowel movements. I don't want to have fake ass friends. I don't want to be looped into so stupid ass, petty ass drama. I don't want to be in a crew. I don't want to be in a gang. I don't want to be in a "set". I don't want to have a group of people who know me and fuck with me heavily. I don't want to hear who likes me and who doesn't like me. I just want to go to my classes. Get my work done, proceed until I am done and I have graduated high school. Anyways, so yeah I am a loner. There is nothing wrong with being a loner. Being a loner allows you to have your own personal morals contrary to what others might believe or say. Personally, I rarely reveal my morals. And considering this is going to be released the public later this afternoon, I sure as fuck not telling y'all what I believe. Nothing personally just... Rule #1: Be secretive. Certain things are meant to keep to yourself. You will never know one's true intentions. Peoples' motives change over time. Female example: When you were younger the guy you liked didn't like you because you had glasses, and you were fat. But then all of a sudden puberty does a number on you and suddenly you are this hot ass, bad ass chick and then now the guy you like what's to get to know you and be "your friend". Male example: When you are younger the girl you like doesn't like you because you are nerd with glasses. Then puberty strikes, suddenly you are the "hot nerd" and she wants you.
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*proceeds to monologue* I'm not a big socially, extroverted person. In Elementary school, I was the short, fat, glasses girl. I knew it, my friends knew it, people knew it. They just didn't say it. Which was nice I guess, until I thought I had two best friends in the fourth grade and they used to get hit on left and right. No one wanted to hit on Eryka. And the guy who did date me my 4th grade year, 5th grade year I found out he only dated me because he "felt bad". We dated for like a week. 😭😂 Nowadays I question peoples intentions so bad that sometimes I overthink and I give myself panic attacks. 😅 I don't like not knowing. I know that guys who talk to me want: Friends with Benefits, Nudes, Sneaky links (hook-ups), Want to get to know me. Honestly, I ain't trynna get to know no one. If they ain't gonna marry me why the fuck they gotta get to know me? Like I don't like talking. I feel like it is a waste of time. I've done the talking thing. It only leads to heartbreak and misunderstandings. People say "I wish I holding you" and then the next minute posting pictures of their girlfriend/boyfriend. He used to say "I wish I was making a snack for someone's daughter while she is high laying in bed" and then two months later tell me "I just want to go on deployment and do my job so I can make money buy my house, cars and motorcycles." Truth be told: Wanting a marriage in this generation is hard. They either show you, they don't want you at all. They either lurk and stalk your fucking social media because they think you are just some random girl who is going to fold and cry herself to sleep because you called me "ugly", "fat" and "stupid". Like sir/ma'am, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one". Like you really ain't stressing me. You really just giving yourself bad karma and if you want to do that go ahead I'm just not with it. I know what I want in life and out of life. I'm not going to let anyone stand in my way. I survived so much shit, that even if you tried to stand in front of me, I will knock you down, watch you fall and continue my walk, when you get up and look at me I will be 20 steps ahead. Good luck though. 🖕🏽
