Eryka talks about her life experiences leading her up to her current position in an interview based along with her diary signature endings as "The Loner".
Being a heartbreaker is easy when you had your heartbroken.
First boyfriend Throughout the many years breaking hearts. I still remember my first ever boyfriend. I was really young. I went to North Twin Lakes Elementary, NTL, in Hialeah. I remember he was a little taller than me by a few inches, black hair, always slicked back with gel and water, eyes brown like a Bambi, and sweet caramel skin. He was Puerto Rican. His name was Ezekiel. Him and I would sit next to each other, I was on his left and he was on my right. Everything was going well. Until my teacher told my mom she was scheduled for a parent teacher conference meeting. My mom enters the classroom, I am sitting in front of my teacher who is sitting in the center of the round table. My mom walks over to us, she greets my teacher and my teacher greets my mother in return. My teacher begins explaining to my mom that class I am in is for ESOL and yet, I have lower normal grades than normal. My mom was puzzled. And then my teacher mentioned it. "Eryka has a boyfriend as well in the class." my teacher claimed. "Who is you boyfriend?" I was sitting quietly for a quarter of a minute than Ezekiel interrupted. "I AM!" he said as I looked back he was smiling and waving his hands on the air. My mom turned around and saw Ezekiel sitting with his father. His father looked at his son and looked at my mom. Soon after that day, Ezekiel and I would be out in separate classes. After one late morning of me trying to run to class, I saw Ezekiel kissing a girl, Vanessa. I knew Vanessa was a possible threat but I didn't know how soon the threat would have struck. And heartbreak was close. But I expected it.
My longest relationship My longest relationship was Marty Alan Harris. Marty and I met each other in 5th grade. When I went to Lake Forest Elementary in West Park. We met each other slowly. I am not entirely sure how Marty and I came to be. I don't remember us prior to us talking. I mean I used to remember him eyeing me in the hall or in the lunch hall. My first memory of Marty was when he used to hand me notes on his way into the lunch line. He would put them beside me and give me a hug. All my classmates knew when Ms.G's class walked in, Marty was going to give me something. Soon we found ourselves dating, we used to sit next to each other in the lunch hall whenever we had the chance. Fast forward, 4 months to the end of 5th grade year, Marty and I graduated, after our graduation the teachers and all the graduates had a big class of 2016 ceremony. Marty wasn't in the first half because of bad behavior. 🙄 When he did come we all had time to sit, watch the memories while Marty and I held hands. After that day, it was summer. Nothing left to go back to. Summer began and Marty told me he was going to McNicol Middle and I told him I was going to Parkway to pursue the start of my professional dancing. In July, a few days before my birthday, I had decided it would be a good idea to end things with Marty. Specifically, because I knew we weren't going to be able to see each other and I was terrified of the possibility of me getting cheated on. So I sent the text. "Marty, I am breaking up with you" the text says. When I texted him, I got a response from his mother. "You hurt my baby!" the text had written out. Marty wasn't a bad guy. I just knew he was going to need someone to occupy his daily hugs and notes. I wouldn't have been able to do that from Parkway. I did what I thought was best for him. Marty and I lasted 5 months.
The One that got away
"The one that got away?" Yeah, I know, Katy Perry. But no seriously, he was. I thought he was going to be my everything. I thought we were going to get married. I thought he was going to be the one I gave my virginity to. I thought we were going to be a power couple. I thought I was going to be his wife, the mother of his kids, the woman in his life who supported just as much as his mother did. I thought I was going to be able to support him so much that his friends would say "Damn, I wish my girl did as much as your girl does." If he knew half the Shit I was willing to put myself through to be with him, he would probably call me "crazy". I threw away my relationship with my Sperm Donor's (bio father). I wanted him more than anything. I was willing to do a lot of shit. It all started on his birthday, he had just turned 20. He was my older sister's friend from high school. I thought he was cute. I made my boundaries established when I asked my sister if I could add him on Snapchat. That was the day I added him. I knew I had a crush on him. I just kept it on the low for the first 3 weeks. I fell for him. And so we started sending snaps of each other throughout the day and talked at night. When we talked at night it was the typical "how was your day, did you eat, how you feeling, what did you do today" type of conversations. We would FaceTime while he took breaks from work, while he was doing deliveries, while he was running errands.
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And he made me feel just that. He made me feel like he freed up his time to talk to me. His future started become the present. He wanted to go into the military. So he went to boot camp and even then I supported him. I supported him even though it hurt that we wouldn't have been able to talk, call, or text each other. I knew he was going to find someone else. I knew he was going to make time for someone else. I knew something/someone else had him more. Of course, I knew it was going to be the military. I knew it was going to be another female. So when I found out, I had already dreamt it, felt it, and peeped the change. Yeah, it hurt. *laughs, looks down at my thighs* It hurt like a bitch. *nods my head* It hurt because I supported his dreams mentally. It hurt because I gave my all to someone who didn't secure my spot. It hurt because after I found out. I asked him, "How stupid do I look to you?". He didn't know what to say and when I told him who told me. He got mad at me for asking around. I told him, "you weren't the center of the conversation, the center of the conversation was heartbreak" and I just so happen so be talking to a battle buddy of his who I didn't know at the time was his battle buddy. And he say "you had no right". Yeah, I didn't but you should have told your friend to keep his mouth shut.
I don't care how bad the truth hurts, I rather you hurt me with the truth than a lie.
